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I don't want to come off as reductive, bioessentialist, homophobic. I don't want to come off as bitter for being heterosexual. The sexual attraction I feel toward men isn't a choice, but I do choose to accept and fixate on it.

Am I entitled to hope to be treated well? Am I doomed to sexual suffering- surely it's not outrageous for me to hope to be loved and treated well. Surely humans are evolved enough to have basic respect at dire times. Am I foolish to be hopeful?

Basically I look at how men treat each other, how they talk about each other sexually. In my mind it's unacceptable. I don't care if that sounds bad. I know the way men think sexually about each other is just a magnified version of how they discuss women. Why are they concerned with degradation and ruination? Why is sex about destruction to them? Dissolution of respect? It is all about materialism. Is sex all about materialism?

Why do I want to view sex constructively?

Why must women be the fucking gatekeepers of our own safety? IS THIS biological when we know these hormones do change your mind? Where is the line drawn between nature and nurture? Am I getting too blackpilled on this shit? If I believe that gender "isn't real", then shouldn't all this solve itself as a part of solving general misogyny? Should i have confidence in this type of progress or is it too animalistic to change?

What even defines this male sexuality? In my opinion it's culture-driven manifestations and magnifications of biological impulse. It's not mind over matter, it's full integration of mind with matter.

Women don't deserve violence for liking men sexually. Yet it is what so much of us receive as the payoff. Where do we even go from here? "Political lesbianism" is not a solution. Heterosexual women do not deserve this.

If I ever see the word "hole" again I'm cracking.

My friends tell me "go to a therapist, your views on sex are weird." No they're fuckin not. Not when I see how men talk when they're alone.

I don't want to come off as reductive, bioessentialist, homophobic. I don't want to come off as bitter for being heterosexual. The sexual attraction I feel toward men isn't a choice, but I do choose to accept and fixate on it. Am I entitled to hope to be treated well? Am I doomed to sexual suffering- surely it's not outrageous for me to hope to be loved and treated well. Surely humans are evolved enough to have basic respect at dire times. Am I foolish to be hopeful? Basically I look at how men treat each other, how they talk about each other sexually. In my mind it's unacceptable. I don't care if that sounds bad. I know the way men think sexually about each other is just a magnified version of how they discuss women. Why are they concerned with degradation and ruination? Why is sex about destruction to them? Dissolution of respect? It is all about materialism. Is sex all about materialism? Why do I want to view sex constructively? Why must women be the fucking gatekeepers of our own safety? IS THIS biological when we know these hormones do change your mind? Where is the line drawn between nature and nurture? Am I getting too blackpilled on this shit? If I believe that gender "isn't real", then shouldn't all this solve itself as a part of solving general misogyny? Should i have confidence in this type of progress or is it too animalistic to change? What even defines this male sexuality? In my opinion it's culture-driven manifestations and magnifications of biological impulse. It's not mind over matter, it's full integration of mind with matter. Women don't deserve violence for liking men sexually. Yet it is what so much of us receive as the payoff. Where do we even go from here? "Political lesbianism" is not a solution. Heterosexual women do not deserve this. If I ever see the word "hole" again I'm cracking. My friends tell me "go to a therapist, your views on sex are weird." No they're fuckin not. Not when I see how men talk when they're alone.

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72 comments

[–] friedparata 6 points Edited

honestly, why do women willingly get into relationships with shit men?

There is someone I know, who's close to me. his mom married his dad, even though she knew he was a homeless alcoholic who already had children with other women, and was kicked out by them. he ofc was abusive to her as well, and after my friend was born, she kicked him out. he's still a homeless drunk and doesn't have relationships with any of his children.

the thing is, she got into a relationship with him, even married him knowing what he was like. my friend says she just wanted to have a child, but... that seems excessive.

her first husband was also abusive and his family made her do all the housework, and treated her like a maid servant. but he died in a car accident before they had children. she got married to him because of family pressure. her father was also incredibly abusive to her, in every way.

basically, every male in her life, except her son, has failed her.

I think grooming plays a huge role. There are so many ways girls are taught to care for others at the expense of themselves, and this carries over into adulthood. If you were taught as a child to be responsible for the home while your brothers did whatever they wanted, you'd be more likely to see this as normal and clean up after your husband like you cleaned up after your brothers and father. It's actually downright frightening how effective socialization is.

Yes. Also, they have had all self-worth and self-love stripped from them very effectively. I have a friend who is going through this, she is really suffering. It's so painful to see. She doesn't love herself at all, and it's all imposed in her all the way from childhood by society. It's like her only worth is what she can give of herself to others, and she's just chipping away at herself.

Obviously, she's bought in deep into the libfem. I really hope she will learn to love and respect herself in time.

I know there is a lot of eyerolling when it comes to "Love yourself!" messages towards women, but it is no small thing to achieve self love as a woman in this world. Disconnection from and hatred of the self is one of many chains that bind us.