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I don't want to come off as reductive, bioessentialist, homophobic. I don't want to come off as bitter for being heterosexual. The sexual attraction I feel toward men isn't a choice, but I do choose to accept and fixate on it.

Am I entitled to hope to be treated well? Am I doomed to sexual suffering- surely it's not outrageous for me to hope to be loved and treated well. Surely humans are evolved enough to have basic respect at dire times. Am I foolish to be hopeful?

Basically I look at how men treat each other, how they talk about each other sexually. In my mind it's unacceptable. I don't care if that sounds bad. I know the way men think sexually about each other is just a magnified version of how they discuss women. Why are they concerned with degradation and ruination? Why is sex about destruction to them? Dissolution of respect? It is all about materialism. Is sex all about materialism?

Why do I want to view sex constructively?

Why must women be the fucking gatekeepers of our own safety? IS THIS biological when we know these hormones do change your mind? Where is the line drawn between nature and nurture? Am I getting too blackpilled on this shit? If I believe that gender "isn't real", then shouldn't all this solve itself as a part of solving general misogyny? Should i have confidence in this type of progress or is it too animalistic to change?

What even defines this male sexuality? In my opinion it's culture-driven manifestations and magnifications of biological impulse. It's not mind over matter, it's full integration of mind with matter.

Women don't deserve violence for liking men sexually. Yet it is what so much of us receive as the payoff. Where do we even go from here? "Political lesbianism" is not a solution. Heterosexual women do not deserve this.

If I ever see the word "hole" again I'm cracking.

My friends tell me "go to a therapist, your views on sex are weird." No they're fuckin not. Not when I see how men talk when they're alone.

I don't want to come off as reductive, bioessentialist, homophobic. I don't want to come off as bitter for being heterosexual. The sexual attraction I feel toward men isn't a choice, but I do choose to accept and fixate on it. Am I entitled to hope to be treated well? Am I doomed to sexual suffering- surely it's not outrageous for me to hope to be loved and treated well. Surely humans are evolved enough to have basic respect at dire times. Am I foolish to be hopeful? Basically I look at how men treat each other, how they talk about each other sexually. In my mind it's unacceptable. I don't care if that sounds bad. I know the way men think sexually about each other is just a magnified version of how they discuss women. Why are they concerned with degradation and ruination? Why is sex about destruction to them? Dissolution of respect? It is all about materialism. Is sex all about materialism? Why do I want to view sex constructively? Why must women be the fucking gatekeepers of our own safety? IS THIS biological when we know these hormones do change your mind? Where is the line drawn between nature and nurture? Am I getting too blackpilled on this shit? If I believe that gender "isn't real", then shouldn't all this solve itself as a part of solving general misogyny? Should i have confidence in this type of progress or is it too animalistic to change? What even defines this male sexuality? In my opinion it's culture-driven manifestations and magnifications of biological impulse. It's not mind over matter, it's full integration of mind with matter. Women don't deserve violence for liking men sexually. Yet it is what so much of us receive as the payoff. Where do we even go from here? "Political lesbianism" is not a solution. Heterosexual women do not deserve this. If I ever see the word "hole" again I'm cracking. My friends tell me "go to a therapist, your views on sex are weird." No they're fuckin not. Not when I see how men talk when they're alone.

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72 comments

I think good men exist.

I am in a bit of a weird spot with my boyfriend right now, but he is a really good example I think for the most part.

We first started dating we were 19 and that was when I found out about the porn stuff with human trafficking and everything. I went to him with the evidence I found and he stop watching. He listens to me and changes his view on things. He’s a very considerate boyfriend as well when our university classes were online and we lived together he would do a full deep clean of our apartment occasionally as a surprise when I’d get off (chores were fairly split but I’m a bit of a mess) and he’d cook food and bring it to me at work and we’d eat in my car together on my break. He genuinely is very sweet and treats me well.

The reason I said in a weird place is because we’ve come to a bit of an impasse on the trans topic. Ovarit is pretty small so you may or may not have seen my posts but we agreed at the end of this month we’re doing a formal debate with academic sources to try and convince each other of the other’s side.

And just from him doing his own research hes already said there is an aspect of the trans argument he wants to take off the table because him doing his own research has already caused him to agree with me on my side, so I’m not too worried about the debate honestly.

But I think that is the big thing to look for- is he willing to listen and change? I didn’t fix my boyfriend, and you cannot fix other people, but I was lucky enough to stumble across a man who is willing to listen and acknowledge my life and experience.

If you can find a man who is genuinely willing to do that, then I think long term that is the key.

my bf also listens to me and changes his mind about things if I'm right. we both stopped watching porn because we both understood how much it rots your brain. he says, especially, he notices how much porn has rotten men and boys' brains. i was the one who told him about how most porn stars are trafficked women, many amateur videos are revenge porn. there is no way of knowing which is which. most of the videos are also just so violent. you could hardly find anything sweet and romantic.