Rant So this time, I took a man to the doctors with me…

Fun fact - I have a male friend who lives in China. His entire income is based off of Chinese businesses hiring him to sit in a conference room as just a white American dude in a suit to lend them credibility.

Surely we could do something similar here?

I found one doctor and then I only go to doctors recommended by the doctors I trust.

Studies show women receive better care from women. Black women receive better care from black women.

I bring notes. That way if the doctor tries to steamroll me, I can say "let me just make sure we addressed all of my concerns" and I go down the list.

I went to a surgeon once who literally walked out the door in the middle of his own sentence. I got up, stood in the hallway, and yelled (cause he had gotten some distance away), "I still have concerns about my surgery to discuss." (I went to him as an exception -- I was warned that he was the best at actually cutting into people, but a crappy doctor at talking to humans)

Now if someone can find me a PCP. I have a full team of excellent specialists for all my crap, but if I get a sinus infection, I'm shit up a creek.

We even get shit care with alternative practitioners. We need a woman's society with radfem women healers, bodyworkers, the whole gamut.

I constantly feel so fucking lucky to have found a great doctor when I moved to my current city six years ago. He has never once been dismissive or short with me, always gives his undivided attention and talks with me for five or so minutes at the beginning of my appointments just to catch up, and always listens to me and takes me seriously.

He was my mother’s doctor as well and when she died he hugged and cried with me and did not charge me a dime for visits and continued to write my prescriptions when I was temporarily without insurance after she passed away. Everyone at his office are incredible people. I’ll be so heartbroken when he retires or passes away. I don’t think I’ll even find another doctor that’s as great as him. Doctors like mine should be the norm and not the exception.

I have multiple diagnosed physical issues that are painful, my pain is still all in my head. 🤷‍♀️

I have gotten into the habit of taking my husband along with me to most appointments. He isn't a fan, thinks it makes him look like an overbearing, abusive type. Funny thing is, no one, not one single HCP has ever raised that concern. Instead, they treat me with more respect and consideration when he's there. They listen to me. They listen to him when he speaks up on my behalf. It's bonkers.

That said, my current doctor now does a pretty great job of listening to me on her own and we seem to have a great vibe even when my husband isn't along.

I would take a rent a transmen, depending how she looks like, I would feel comforted that she's a woman but an emotional support nigel can work too. I think a middle aged man works the best. Last psychtr. a woman told me I needed a boyfriend in the middle of pandemic. Like my stomach issues were fixed with a ton of antibiotics. got like 300 doses? No with a boyfriend. I went with a support dad to the consults that really helped. Like new Psychtr. was good but also went with the support dad. We have to get female doctors when possible. But even them have internalized misogyny

How can doctors just not turn up for a medical appointment?

We should not have to pay for this. They have a big debt they owe us and this is one (1) way they can start to pay it off.

This is an interesting observation. I had no idea this happens. Because I am Deaf, I always have an ASL interpreter present at my doctor's appointments (sometimes men, sometimes women). I think because there is another professional in the room, the doctor has no choice but to stay and listen as well as respond to all of my questions. Before my husband passed away 5 years ago, I usually accompany him to his doctor's office and vice versa - I think it is because we wanted to make sure communication happens due to our language barriers, so having each other plus ASL interpreter helped us. Also, there is a legal component: lawsuits have been brought against doctors and their facilities for not providing ASL interpreters, so doctors have to be able to answer all of our questions before we are satisfied.