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https://www.today.com/parents/today-survey-pandemic-parenting-finds-moms-are-burnt-out-t217123

Lots of stupid advice about "centering yourself" even just for a "few moments". Actually moms just need HELP. From the other half of the parental unit, AKA men. That's it. Just fucking share the childcare and chores already!!

I mean decent outside childcare that is actually affordable would also help. Reasonable leave and unemployment laws would also have been friggin great. But mainly: dads need to be pitching in as much as moms.

I absolutely despise this kind of mamby pamby crap that we spoon-feed to women. Women are the majority of Today's viewers. NAME THE ACTUAL PROBLEM.

https://www.today.com/parents/today-survey-pandemic-parenting-finds-moms-are-burnt-out-t217123 Lots of stupid advice about "centering yourself" even just for a "few moments". Actually moms just need HELP. From the other half of the parental unit, AKA *men*. That's it. Just fucking share the childcare and chores already!! I mean decent outside childcare that is actually affordable would also help. Reasonable leave and unemployment laws would also have been friggin great. But mainly: dads need to be pitching in as much as moms. I absolutely despise this kind of mamby pamby crap that we spoon-feed to women. Women are the majority of Today's viewers. NAME THE ACTUAL PROBLEM.

20 comments

[–] mountainwitch 4 points (+4|-0) Edited

Keeping a toddler entertained has been THE WORST. Taking a "few moments" to myself only results in more stress because holy shit you can't leave a toddler alone for any length of time without complete chaos.

Mostly I worry. I worry how the lack of peer socialization will affect my child and children worldwide. I worry this is the new normal and my kid may be deprived of a real childhood and accept being cooped up indoors and never going out as a lifestyle. A few fucking moments isn't going to change the problems mothers are facing. I meditate, I do yoga, I practice self care, and parenting during a pandemic is still unbearably difficult some (if not most) days. I feel like a failure. I can't do anything "normal" with my kid and I am all out of ideas and motivation for doing more than keeping afloat.

[–] Amareldys 4 points (+4|-0)

Funnily I was doing yoga and it felt like one more chore. So I stopped.

[–] spacykate 2 points (+2|-0) Edited

A lot of self care strikes me as just more chores. I don't have kids but am more or less perpetually depressed and when I'm in a more depressed state all the self care crud is just more stuff to do that I don't wanna.

Clean a room? How about no

Yoga? Now I'm limber and exhausted

etc

[–] Amareldys 1 points (+1|-0)

I never understood why women on TV shows always want to go to the spa. Facials HURT. So do manicures. Hell, often, so do massages but with those you feel better after... Being poked at with sharp implements isn't a treat for me. It's something I sometimes do so I can look nice for others. I feel good after I do that because I am more pleasing to look at. But it's not for -me-.

[–] mountainwitch 1 points (+1|-0)

Haha my practice is definitely not consistent due to workload, but it helps me manage my PTSD and anger so it's something I find necessary (for myself) in order to be a decent parent.

[–] Boudicaea [OP] 3 points (+3|-0)

I relate so much to what you are saying here. My son is a preschooler, and he also is an only child. He was a young three when the pandemic started.

I remember before I got childcare back just breaking down and crying about all of these things you are talking about. We put him back in daycare as soon as we could, despite the risks, because we (mainly meaning me) just could not take working at the same time as parenting a small child anymore. We were extremely lucky to even get a spot. And that was in August!!

I know for a FACT exactly how lucky I am to have been able to even find or use childcare. I cannot imagine having gone the entire winter without some other kids around for my kid. It was bad enough March through August.

[–] mountainwitch 2 points (+2|-0)

I'm glad you were able to find a childcare provider! Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

My son is almost 3 now and has never really interacted with other children his age on a consistent basis. Sometimes we take the risk and I bring him to go hang out with the older neighborhood kids (less than a handful of times a month). He always watches from the sidelines and doesn't play unless one particular little girl is there.

We are doubly screwed as American citizens in India.... definitely not putting him in school any time soon. Now I can't even daydream about going back home because travel is so dangerous 😂😭. My sister in law has a newborn so at least he is able to be around a child now!

[–] Boudicaea [OP] 1 points (+1|-0)

Oh man, I am sorry you're stuck in the thick of it now too. Hope you stay safe.

One thought that comforted me a bit was that kids used to not even start school until they were six! Granted, some had other kids around, siblings, etc., but not all. My father in law was only been around other kids at church until he was six. He's fine and very social.

Kids are super resilient. I am sure your kiddo will come through it OK. He is still very young. Hang in there mama!