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16 comments

[–] momofreyrella 9 points (+9|-0)

Absence of pain for your own sexual enjoyment is a pretty low bar

[–] platypus 7 points (+8|-1)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've been on the birth control pill and my sex drive has absolutely tanked. On top of that, my fiancé is really digging his heels in with the "no one likes getting hair in their mouth" thing. Like, my god. We shoot women up with hormones that destroy their sexual function, and then tell them they literally have to slice the hair off their folds to even begin to be considered acceptable for the one act that actually has a chance of giving most women an orgasm (oral sex.) And then men piss and moan that "my wife doesn't fuck me." No, sir, it is you who is not fucking your wife. Forcing your scaly circumcised chub into her dry pussy does not count.

[–] worried19 7 points (+7|-0)

Those are massive red flags. You deserve better than that.

[–] platypus 3 points (+3|-0)

I know -_-

It's something we're working on. Tonight I explained to him that lots of people do, in fact, prefer pubic hair. Apparently he's literally never known anyone who did.

[–] worried19 5 points (+5|-0)

It's so strange how women being hairless has taken over the entire culture. Porn is to blame, of course.

Meanwhile I had no clue other women removed their pubic hair until I got to college.

[–] Julie92845 0 points (+0|-0) Edited

I have to disagree that not liking pubes is a red flag. I don’t like performing oral with pubes either. It’s just not a pleasant sensation.

I also don’t like the sound of pressuring someone to go down on you when they don’t want to for any reason.

[–] worried19 0 points (+0|-0)

I agree that pressuring anyone is a problem. But the way the post was originally written made it sound like OP's partner was pressuring her to shave or wax. She since clarified he doesn't do that, but he's still claiming no one likes pubic hair. To me it sounded like a subtle guilt trip.

And no, he shouldn't have to give oral if he doesn't like it. I'm all about enthusiastic consent. I wouldn't want a woman to feel obligated to go down on a man either, so no double standards.

[–] elleelle 4 points (+4|-0)

So my dude and I both have long hair. Like, the hair on our heads. And we were doing our thing, passionately, and once it was over, I realized that one of those long hairs was most of the way down my throat. It. Was. Gross. But I wasn't bothered during because I was distracted, lol.

He also finds it really hot when I let my pubic hair get wooly. I prefer to trim it, particularly when its warm outside, just for comfort. He never complains. I pinned him down about this once and he gave me the confused dog head tilt and said, "I'm not going to criticize your pussy! EVER. I'm just happy to be there."

My baby daddy, on the other hand? Used to beg me to shave, even though it gave me yeast infections.

There's a reason I have galaxy brain sex with the current dude, and had lukewarm oatmeal sex with the last one. Just saying.

[–] platypus 1 points (+2|-1)

Yeah we had ourselves a talk tonight.

The thing is, I've also known plenty of guys (and girls) who liked pubic hair. And not just tolerated it, but preferred it.

At least he doesn't actually ask me to shave. He knows it hurts me (I have extremely sensitive skin) and he doesn't want me to be in pain. But he "just prefers it."

But the thing about "no one likes it" was a step too far. So I explained to him that plenty of people do, in fact, like it.

Our conversation went something like this:
Him: If you take a random person and put a hair in their mouth, they won't like it.
Me: Yes but if you take a random person and put semen in their mouth, they won't like that either. But if it's their husband's semen, it's different.
Him: Actually some people probably would like a random person's semen in their mouth.
Me: True. But then again, if you take a bunch of straight men and put a pubic hair in their mouth, and then told them it was a random woman's pubic hair, they'd probably be into that too.
Him: Hmm...

So I think he's starting to get my point.

It's so frustrating because he's really great in so many ways. Our division of labor is great, I find him extremely attractive, etc. etc. He's GC, and I've even managed to educate him on a few really important things (climate change, the wage gap, medical discrimination against women, the death penalty, etc.) So I'm really really hoping he'll get woke on the pubic hair issue. If he was insisting I shave it would be a different story of course, but from the sound of it he's just never known anyone who didn't hate pubic hair.

[–] elleelle 2 points (+2|-0)

Yeah I mean I can promise you at least one straight man is way into it. The cover of Amorica by the Black Crowes is always his go to for an example of stuff that's hot to him.

[–] Do_nut 2 points (+4|-2)

I recommend those battery powered beard trimmers. When the hair gets unruly I just sit on the pot and run it over my closed vulva back to front once. Super quick, no ingrown hairs, and just flush for cleanup. Short enough my man ain't picking hair out of his teeth, long enough it's not itchy or tickly. May be a compromise that works for both of you.

[–] Boudicaea 1 points (+1|-0)

That's what I use too when things get too unruly. It's way better than a razor.