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It drives me up the wall when men complain about the stigmas they face when it comes to mental health. Therapy is something that exists, they don't ban men from it, you just don't want your bros mocking you the way they mock women who have mental health issues. Men are incredibly cruel to mentally ill women, to the point of targeting us to sexually and emotionally and physically abuse us because they know we're more vulnerable. Men mock us for the emotional issues caused by abusive or neglectful fathers. Men relentlessly accuse us of faking disorders for attention or lying or being pathetic and weak whenever we're open about our struggles, or even if we just dare to be attractive and struggling. Obviously all beautiful women live life on easy mode so they're all faking it for... pity? Tumblr clout? Instagram likes??

Men are incredibly fucking cruel to us, regardless of how we look! It's not EASIER to be a mentally ill woman, women are just more likely to be responsible and mature enough to seek help from people who are qualified and paid to deal with our problems when we need it.

And a lot of these same men? Looooove using the women in their lives as therapists and agony aunts. I cannot tell you how many times a dude I don't even know has started talking to me about all his issues mere minutes/hours/days after meeting me. I cannot tell you how many times each of my friends and I have been used as a living emotional crutch by some random dude who thinks that US helping THEM means that we owe them sex. I cannot tell you how many times I had to be my father's emotional support as a child. And then they'll turn right back around and talk shit about mentally ill women when mentally ill men are the ones so much more likely to hurt other people. They just hate mentally ill women for existing, for having the audacity to struggle. Don't we know that having a vagina means that everything is easier for us?!

So I have very little patience with men struggling to open up about their mental health to their bros. That is their responsibility, a problem that toxic masculinity has perpetuated. Women are BEGGING men to go to therapy and stop dumping this on us. THERAPISTS would be more than willing to get more clients. Men simply don't want to perform the emotional labor and introspection that therapy requires of them. The only thing they seem to want is pity sex.

It drives me up the wall when men complain about the stigmas they face when it comes to mental health. Therapy is something that exists, they don't ban men from it, you just don't want your bros mocking you the way they mock women who have mental health issues. Men are incredibly cruel to mentally ill women, to the point of targeting us to sexually and emotionally and physically abuse us because they know we're more vulnerable. Men mock us for the emotional issues caused by abusive or neglectful fathers. Men relentlessly accuse us of faking disorders for attention or lying or being pathetic and weak whenever we're open about our struggles, or even if we just dare to be attractive and struggling. Obviously all beautiful women live life on easy mode so they're all faking it for... pity? Tumblr clout? Instagram likes?? Men are incredibly fucking cruel to us, regardless of how we look! It's not EASIER to be a mentally ill woman, women are just more likely to be responsible and mature enough to seek help from people who are qualified and paid to deal with our problems when we need it. And a lot of these same men? Looooove using the women in their lives as therapists and agony aunts. I cannot tell you how many times a dude I don't even know has started talking to me about all his issues mere minutes/hours/days after meeting me. I cannot tell you how many times each of my friends and I have been used as a living emotional crutch by some random dude who thinks that US helping THEM means that we owe them sex. I cannot tell you how many times I had to be my father's emotional support as a child. And then they'll turn right back around and talk shit about mentally ill women when mentally ill men are the ones so much more likely to hurt other people. They just hate mentally ill women for existing, for having the audacity to struggle. Don't we know that having a vagina means that everything is easier for us?! So I have very little patience with men struggling to open up about their mental health to their bros. That is their responsibility, a problem that toxic masculinity has perpetuated. Women are BEGGING men to go to therapy and stop dumping this on us. THERAPISTS would be more than willing to get more clients. Men simply don't want to perform the emotional labor and introspection that therapy requires of them. The only thing they seem to want is pity sex.

38 comments

[–] SarahSaysSure 30 points (+32|-2) Edited

I wouldn’t even say that women aren’t stigmatized for crying, actually—how many times have we heard that women manipulate with tears or that women are weak because they cry? Instead of falling to a lower social status like men, however, women are kept at the same (low) status because tears are taken as confirmation that women are as weak as society threatens men to be (“man up”, i.e. “you wouldn’t want to fall to the level of a woman, would you”)?

To make an analogy: imagine if the r slur for disabled people was interpreted as a slight against neurotypicals because “you’re putting expectations on people to be perfect” or something like that. This ignores the root cause of the stigma in this hypothetical situation—that people with disabilities are othered, and in fact further insults them by implying that the r slur only matters when used against the poor neurotypicals with feelings that actually matter. Men/neurotypicals might raise a stink about it because being insulted in that way is such a drastic change from their normal lives, but no thoughts are had for the people who continually live under such marginalization. Obviously, they’ve grown used to it or something, or it doesn’t matter (the irony of putting down a marginalized group and thinking you’re progressive), or some other excuse along those lines.

[–] zephyrean 9 points (+9|-0)

and in fact further insults them by implying that the r slur only matters when used against the poor neurotypicals with feelings that actually matter

But i's true. The "r ""slur""" is not a slur (I'll abstain from using the word in this post because it's obviously triggering for you). It's a word for mentally deficient people which is only insulting when used against healthy people.

because being insulted in that way is such a drastic change from their normal lives

What "drastic change"?

The insult is this: a person is wrong on one specific issue (e.g. "the US survey mile is shorter than the international mile"), an attacker says she is mentally deficient and can't be trusted on all issues ever.

OR

The attacker disagrees with a person on one specific issue (e.g. "the universal basic income is more efficient than welfare") and says the person is mentally deficient by dint of that, and that everyone who espouses such a view is mentally deficient and can't be trusted on all issues ever. This has the added effect of chilling everyone else's speech for fear of being similarly ostracized.

It is insulting because it is defamation or slander. In short, a lie.

Saying mentally deficient people are mentally deficient is not a slur or insult. A slur for mentally deficient people would be something like "shit for brains".