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It drives me up the wall when men complain about the stigmas they face when it comes to mental health. Therapy is something that exists, they don't ban men from it, you just don't want your bros mocking you the way they mock women who have mental health issues. Men are incredibly cruel to mentally ill women, to the point of targeting us to sexually and emotionally and physically abuse us because they know we're more vulnerable. Men mock us for the emotional issues caused by abusive or neglectful fathers. Men relentlessly accuse us of faking disorders for attention or lying or being pathetic and weak whenever we're open about our struggles, or even if we just dare to be attractive and struggling. Obviously all beautiful women live life on easy mode so they're all faking it for... pity? Tumblr clout? Instagram likes??

Men are incredibly fucking cruel to us, regardless of how we look! It's not EASIER to be a mentally ill woman, women are just more likely to be responsible and mature enough to seek help from people who are qualified and paid to deal with our problems when we need it.

And a lot of these same men? Looooove using the women in their lives as therapists and agony aunts. I cannot tell you how many times a dude I don't even know has started talking to me about all his issues mere minutes/hours/days after meeting me. I cannot tell you how many times each of my friends and I have been used as a living emotional crutch by some random dude who thinks that US helping THEM means that we owe them sex. I cannot tell you how many times I had to be my father's emotional support as a child. And then they'll turn right back around and talk shit about mentally ill women when mentally ill men are the ones so much more likely to hurt other people. They just hate mentally ill women for existing, for having the audacity to struggle. Don't we know that having a vagina means that everything is easier for us?!

So I have very little patience with men struggling to open up about their mental health to their bros. That is their responsibility, a problem that toxic masculinity has perpetuated. Women are BEGGING men to go to therapy and stop dumping this on us. THERAPISTS would be more than willing to get more clients. Men simply don't want to perform the emotional labor and introspection that therapy requires of them. The only thing they seem to want is pity sex.

It drives me up the wall when men complain about the stigmas they face when it comes to mental health. Therapy is something that exists, they don't ban men from it, you just don't want your bros mocking you the way they mock women who have mental health issues. Men are incredibly cruel to mentally ill women, to the point of targeting us to sexually and emotionally and physically abuse us because they know we're more vulnerable. Men mock us for the emotional issues caused by abusive or neglectful fathers. Men relentlessly accuse us of faking disorders for attention or lying or being pathetic and weak whenever we're open about our struggles, or even if we just dare to be attractive and struggling. Obviously all beautiful women live life on easy mode so they're all faking it for... pity? Tumblr clout? Instagram likes?? Men are incredibly fucking cruel to us, regardless of how we look! It's not EASIER to be a mentally ill woman, women are just more likely to be responsible and mature enough to seek help from people who are qualified and paid to deal with our problems when we need it. And a lot of these same men? Looooove using the women in their lives as therapists and agony aunts. I cannot tell you how many times a dude I don't even know has started talking to me about all his issues mere minutes/hours/days after meeting me. I cannot tell you how many times each of my friends and I have been used as a living emotional crutch by some random dude who thinks that US helping THEM means that we owe them sex. I cannot tell you how many times I had to be my father's emotional support as a child. And then they'll turn right back around and talk shit about mentally ill women when mentally ill men are the ones so much more likely to hurt other people. They just hate mentally ill women for existing, for having the audacity to struggle. Don't we know that having a vagina means that everything is easier for us?! So I have very little patience with men struggling to open up about their mental health to their bros. That is their responsibility, a problem that toxic masculinity has perpetuated. Women are BEGGING men to go to therapy and stop dumping this on us. THERAPISTS would be more than willing to get more clients. Men simply don't want to perform the emotional labor and introspection that therapy requires of them. The only thing they seem to want is pity sex.

38 comments

[–] hypatia -7 points (+4|-11)

Men are not a monolith. There are plenty of men who are bullied terribly by other men; men who are exploited for their labor by other men, etc.

Treating any one man like they are responsible for the actions of all men is just as nonsensical as when men do it to us. That's not to say we shouldn't be cautious of men generally.

Mental illness is stigmatized because it causes problems in the lives of those suffering and the people around them. Things aren't considered an ailment unless they are negatively impacting the person (literally the origin of "disease"). Blaming one sex or the other for it doesn't make sense to me. I think that women suffering from severe mental illness are targeted for predation in a way men probably don't have to deal with, which sucks.

[–] ShingleShake 6 points (+6|-0) Edited

Correct, they're not a monolith, but I do see a particular pattern amongst them and have yet to see the opposite. The pattern being that if they have mental strife, they're way less likely to work on it themselves and much more likely to try to spin it around and pin the blame on others. A boy gets bullied? He turns around and starts to bully his younger sister. Same boy grows up to be a man who refuses to even consider talking to a therapist and looks at the very idea with repulsion, but continuously uses said sister to unload all his emotional baggage on - after she's been beaten into having low enough self esteem in order to cater to him. But does he actually attempt to work on himself? Not really, instead he continues to use his sister as a means to re-write the narrative to soothe his ego rather than ever having to work on his shit character. And the sister allows it, she capitulates to him, because she's been molded to do so from a very young age.

The narrative is consistently enforced and perpetuated by men: boys will be boys. You can't try to make a man into something he's not - otherwise he's not a man! People like JP even perpetuate this false narrative, that trying to raise a boy to actually be introspective and work on himself rather than trying to mold the rest of the world to cater to him would be an attack on manhood and men as a whole. We start it so young; "Boys tease little girls because really they actually like them! That's their way of showing it". And we tell this to little girls, and they internalize it and expect this behavior and excuse it - it's part and parcel of being male, right? Boys are just so shit at recognizing their own emotions, teehee, we need to be so patient and guide them! Constant are the excuses for men's behavior, when are they really told to look within themselves and work on themselves? Can you think of an example of that?