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57 comments

[–] Lysiena 44 points (+44|-0)

What a nightmare.

I had social services saying that if I let him see the kids, they would investigate to see if I was strong enough to protect my children — they might even take them off me — and the family court saying that his convictions for sexual assaults of minors were not necessarily enough to stop him seeing the children.

Excuse me?! This is absolutely ridiculous. If I read this correctly, this pedophile abused THREE children and he's somehow not in prison and free to "reinvent" himself? Excuse me? Sometimes I feel like the death penalty really is the only punishment that will stop pedophiles and rapists. The justice system clearly doesn't even bother to keep these monsters away from children.

He is now allowed only to write to the children four times a year — which he has never done.

What a joke.

"The barring order I got was for three years,” she says with a small smile, a tear sliding down her face. “So it’s just over a year till it expires. I find it hard to think he won’t go back to court, if he gets funding again. It’s something he gets a lot of power and enjoyment from."

Is the family court really this incompetent? They're just gonna let this straight-up pedophile harass and abuse this family forever? I have no words. But kudos to the woman for being so patient and strong and not just snapping and killing him after years of this BS.

[–] kalina 39 points (+39|-0)

I really don't understand this concept where people claim EVERY criminal deserves a chance at rehabilitation. Fucking no. When you've done something truly monstrous I don't care to sit around and wait if maybe the rapist/serial killer/abuser decides to find god and turn his life around, or if another innocent life will be lost. Literally why do people value violent criminals over their victims? And WHY is it such a taboo to say that some criminals cannot ever be rehabilitated?

[–] proudcatlady 16 points (+17|-1)

God I love this comment. So sick of violent criminals becoming the victims that must be protected at all costs and the actual victims becoming the evil perpetrators. It’s so huge in America at least and it’s maddening.

That's why at the height of Black Lives Matter last year I could never support "abolish prisons". Yes I support not imprisoning for life people who commit minor offences like drugs, but so many people were going on about how "people only commit crimes because they're poor - end poverty and abolish prisons!" Yeah I'm sure the countless men who sexually abuse women and children only do it because they're struggling to pay the bills and they'll stop as soon as they have a living wage /s It's just such a naive mindset. Yes some people commit crimes because they are struggling financially but there are also many criminals (this applies more to the violent ones) who are genuinely evil. We NEED prisons to keep women safe from them.

[–] Lysiena 16 points (+16|-0)

Right?! I don't get it either. Especially when they already are serial offenders. Like, great. You tried rehabilitating them. It didn't work. Either lock them up forever or you know ... I don't know if this is against the sitewide rules to say but rapists and pedophiles are the reason why I don't think the death penalty is such a bad idea. Also, most of those pedo organizations I've seen always argue that their pedophilia is "innate" and they can't change it and that therapy would be "conversion therapy" (the nerve!). They literally say themselves that the attempt to rehabilitate them is useless and I'll take their word for it.

[–] bumpyjerboa 5 points (+5|-0)

Its so infuriating because when do pedos and rapists ever actually get the death penalty? I'm morally opposed to it but I don't think it's indefensible to find it acceptable for serial assaulters of women and children. They always get out, and they just go back to harming again.

[–] [Deleted] 13 points (+13|-0) Edited

I don't even know. There's some crimes that are beyond humanity, because if someone is capable of doing such a thing then no they're not fit to be in society. They can't.

[–] SulphuricMirror 9 points (+9|-0)

I remember reading a study that showed that rapists are among the least likely of all violent criminals to even feel remorse, and I would expect pedophiles also feel no remorse, so these people's bullshit about finding god/"I'm a woman now"/reinventing themselves/whatever is just that: bullshit. They don't even think they did anything wrong why would it be possible to rehabilitate them? Rehabilitate from what? They think they are fine the way they are, mo matter what lies they tell councillors, judges, parole boards, etc.

[–] spinstah 2 points (+2|-0)

I think it allows people to take comfort in minimizing the problem. They never have to face up to the reality of evil, instead they can believe it's not so bad. Same thing with victim blaming, its about not looking straight on at evil.

[–] proudcatlady 1 points (+1|-0)

Victim blaming can also be about feeling a sense of control in your own life. In my experience, the biggest victim blamers are other women (men just ignore the issue entirely). I think it’s because if they tell themselves she brought it on herself somehow, they can convince themselves that they will be safe as long as they act differently.

[–] Boudicaea 1 points (+1|-0)

1000% agree. Certain acts are too depraved for them to be trusted to be in society ever again. And the most humane thing for a person like that is probably to give them a painless execution.

[–] Researcher1536 23 points (+23|-0)

I'm at a loss for words. This is so unbelievable its hard to wrap your head around, then you realize we have so much more to fight for.

[–] queen_beastmode 13 points (+13|-0) Edited

Family courts are corrupt as hell and no family court judges gives a fuck that they're basically feeding children and women through a meat grinder on a daily basis. People do not end up in family court unless there is something truly wrong with their ex partner.

[–] Midnight 12 points (+12|-0)

Is the family court really this incompetent?

Yes.

[–] proudcatlady 17 points (+17|-0)

I think it’s less “incompetent” and more “run by male-aligned sycophants.”

[–] Midnight 2 points (+2|-0)

Or maybe: the family court really is this incompetent BECAUSE it's run by male-aligned sycophants, and the laws & policy it enacts are written by male-aligned sycophants.

[–] LOriginedumonde 38 points (+38|-0)

I thought MRAs swore that the courts always rule in the mothers favor. This is utterly despicable. I can’t even begin to imagine all that this woman has been through. Someone lying about their identity has always been one of my biggest fears.

[–] visits_radio [OP] 47 points (+47|-0)

MRAs look at absolute figures rather than looking at them in context. Women are more likely to have custody of their children after a divorce but that is because men are less likely to apply for custody.

When there is a custody battle, the courts show a strong bias in favor of men (especially when the man is accused of abuse because then the whole case is focused on whether or not the mother is making false allegations against him).

[–] [Deleted] 7 points (+12|-5)

Exactly. And the only time the men want the kids is to continue to abuse the mothers and cause drama.

[–] proudcatlady 8 points (+12|-4)

Now, now. That’s a huge generalization and hardly fair. Some of those men are pedophiles who genuinely want access to the kids to abuse them, not just the mothers.

[–] Lumos 35 points (+35|-0) Edited

This is absolutely disgusting. Being a convicted pedophile should automatically mean no unsupervised visitation. The legal system should also make sure spouses and coparents are made aware of the history of pedophilia, such as signing a document saying you know when you file a marriage or birth certificate.

I hope the court sees that he never wrote the kids and stops him from harassing them and their poor mother.

[–] hmimperialtortie 34 points (+34|-0)

Being a convicted paedophile should mean solitary confinement for life.

[–] SamuraiGhostCat 17 points (+17|-0)

Since solitary confinement is classified as psychological torture, absolutely.

[–] mountainwitch 5 points (+5|-0)

I'm partial to the death penalty for pedophiles and rapists. They should live in fear.

[–] [Deleted] 13 points (+13|-0)

I seriously think there is a mass agenda. Sexual deviancy and paedophile has become so widely accepted, it was always wide spread but now it's being normalized. And of course these degenerates fight against the sex offendor registry every chance they get, they want to abolish it. Horrifying?!!

[+] [Deleted] 15 points (+15|-0)
[–] Moonflower 30 points (+30|-0)

She had to remortgage her house to meet ballooning legal fees, as well as borrow money from her parents. Robert, meanwhile, has had access to legal aid.

What??? How the fuck does this system even work?

[–] [Deleted] 3 points (+3|-0)

It seems the court systems are reliant on judicial whims that lack any common sense!!

[–] zuubat 29 points (+31|-2)

Sorry to be repetitive, but entwining one's life with that of a man is a risk. Deciding to have kids with a man is a greater risk. I do not blame any woman for deciding to take that risk, but I do wonder why women seem to be so blase about it.

It's a far bigger risk than, say, leaving friends and family behind and moving to a distant city to take a job that might not work out. It's a far bigger risk than a sizable investment in a start-up that might go belly-up. It's a far bigger risk than a home purchase in a market that could go sideways or a neighborhood you might grow to hate. Yet I would bet most women research these decisions and ponder the risks involved with far more scrutiny than the one involving life-and-kids-with-a-man.

That is exactly backward.

[–] proudcatlady 17 points (+18|-1)

Yeah, but if you say this you’re a harpy bitch who hates men. Sign me up. Men need to recognize this and GROVEL for our attention and do EVERYTHING to level the playing field. But unless we unionize it’s not gonna happen

You might be interested in the writings of Chris Knight and Camilla Power, particularly the cosmetics coalition hypothesis https://libcom.org/history/gender-egalitarianism-made-us-human-response-david-graeber-david-wengrows-how-change-cou

[–] Vita 17 points (+18|-1)

With cases like this, I always remember that over 50% of murders never get solved, and nearly all missing persons cases are unsolved.

Just want to let other women know those statistics.

[–] proudcatlady 12 points (+12|-0)

Wow I didn’t know this.

Although, I do wonder what percent of those unsolved victims are female victims vs male victims, how wealthy they are, and their race. No one cares when a poor black or indigenous girl who had a “drug problem” gets sex trafficked. If a white male engineer who was a pIlLaR oF tHe CoMmUnItY and whose wife was AlWaYs OuT tO gEt HiM went missing, the media would never shut up about it.

[–] [Deleted] 12 points (+12|-0)

What a puke of a penis person and a travesty of the legal system!! She’s my age, too. Did nothing to deserve this other than trust a turd male

[–] nobitary 10 points (+10|-0) Edited

She remains furious that Robert was publicly funded by the Legal Aid Agency. “I wrote to them three times to explain who he was and what he’d done; three times they removed his funding, and three times they reinstated it,"

What. the. fuck? Legal Aid? On what grounds? Is pedo a protected characteristic now?

From UK's Legal Aid website:

"You could for example get legal aid if:

- you or your family are at risk of abuse or serious harm, for example domestic violence or forced marriage
- you’re at risk of homelessness or losing your home
- you’ve been accused of a crime, face prison or detention
- you’re being discriminated against
- you need family mediation
- you’re adding legal arguments or bringing a case under the Human Rights Act"
[–] SulphuricMirror 2 points (+2|-0)

I heard (but haven't seen the proof yet) that twitter's algorithm is flagging the word "pedophile" as a slur or hate speech or something. And Facebook made some changes that makes it really hard to report sex offenders… it seems like the MAPs movement everyone keeps saying isn't a real thing except for a tiny fringe group on Tumblr is quite possibly getting the ball rolling (maybe).

[–] immersang 7 points (+7|-0) Edited

and I felt sorry for him battling to get contact with his children against his ‘nasty’ ex-wife.

There is a reason why men who claim that their ex just for absolutely no reason wants to keep them away from their children raise major red flags for me. Unfortunately, this seems to play into the need of some women to be "not like the other girls/women". "I'm not like his nasty ex who just wants to punish him because she's jealous!" - without even knowing that ex and their background.

And no, I'm not trying to blame this poor woman for her own plight, that's not what I mean. Still, it's one of the many examples that prove that putting the word of a man above all else, simply because you want to be married so bad, can be a horrible idea.

It’s not just in the UK. Here in the US, my friend’s sister has a child with a convicted pedophile. They were engaged, he walked out, then she found out she was pregnant, then after she had the child she found out he had a conviction for unlawful contact with a minor. She still has to take the kid for unsupervised visits with the guy. Maybe that’s the price of getting child support, I don’t know.

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