43

I still do this kind of writing, I am doing it now, but I no longer hope for any outcome other than my own relief. This is because I have lost faith in the idea that there might be anything any individual can say or write that will change the minds of people who, consciously or subconsciously, believe that women matter less than men.

I recommend this article by Emily Gould. It details the shame that was forced on her after she, as an employee of Gawker, appeared on Larry King Live in 2007. She didn't know why LKL had invited someone from Gawker, but being young and media hungry she agreed to do it. On air she was ambushed with questions about a horrible then-feature of Gawker (a live map to stalk celebrities). Gould wasn't involved in setting up or running this map, but as an employee of the site she had to try defend it when questioned, and she didn't do a great job.

However, because she is a woman, and because this is the age of viral videos, her terrible performance wasn't a one-time thing. It has instead become something that's refreshed every few years in order to laugh at and condemn her. It's so easy to make women scapegoats that have to bear the responsibility for .. anything. Gould was obviously just an employee of Gawker, and not even the mastermind of the Gawker Stalker Map. But people love hating women, so no one takes this into consideration. She didn't even know she'd been invited to talk about the map. But it seems like it's just fun to shame others, and women even more so.

Being a young woman with a lot of aspirations shouldn't be grounds for punishment, even when you make a fool of yourself. I cannot imagine being as strong as she is, and writing this openly about her experiences after the LKL appearance.

(This post isn't about the video itself where Gould is confronted by Jimmy Kimmel. If you feel the need to comment on the video or Gould's appearance in the video, I'll kindly ask you to do that elsewhere.)

>I still do this kind of writing, I am doing it now, but I no longer hope for any outcome other than my own relief. This is because I have lost faith in the idea that there might be anything any individual can say or write that will change the minds of people who, consciously or subconsciously, believe that women matter less than men. I recommend [this article by Emily Gould](https://www.thecut.com/2020/02/emily-gould-gawker-shame.html). It details the shame that was forced on her after she, as an employee of Gawker, appeared on Larry King Live in 2007. She didn't know why LKL had invited someone from Gawker, but being young and media hungry she agreed to do it. On air she was ambushed with questions about a horrible then-feature of Gawker (a live map to stalk celebrities). Gould wasn't involved in setting up or running this map, but as an employee of the site she had to try defend it when questioned, and she didn't do a great job. However, because she is a woman, and because this is the age of viral videos, her terrible performance wasn't a one-time thing. It has instead become something that's refreshed every few years in order to laugh at and condemn her. It's so easy to make women scapegoats that have to bear the responsibility for .. anything. Gould was obviously just an employee of Gawker, and not even the mastermind of the Gawker Stalker Map. But people love hating women, so no one takes this into consideration. She didn't even know she'd been invited to talk about the map. But it seems like it's just fun to shame others, and women even more so. Being a young woman with a lot of aspirations shouldn't be grounds for punishment, even when you make a fool of yourself. I cannot imagine being as strong as she is, and writing this openly about her experiences after the LKL appearance. (This post isn't about the video itself where Gould is confronted by Jimmy Kimmel. If you feel the need to comment on the video or Gould's appearance in the video, I'll kindly ask you to do that elsewhere.)

4 comments

[–] pissedwitch 9 points (+9|-0)

Helen Staniland made a comment recently on The Mess We're In. I think she was talking about TRAs celebrating that a GC woman's argument was "destroyed" (someone may remember more exactly what she was talking about) and she pointed out that this language reminded her of the language of porn, of women's bodies being "destroyed" by male sexual violence. Mass humiliation and shame of women is a form of entertainment that defines this era. People seem ever-ready to blame and shame women as a collective sport.

[–] [Deleted] 6 points (+6|-0)

Yes, I saw it. Helen Staniland is great

She's also right, unfortunately. There's a reason why the witch hunts were mostly focused on women, and why most of our slurs are related to female anatomy or women.

[–] Ruby 8 points (+8|-0)

I don't know much about the author or her situation but I related to this part:

I have lost hope that hearing women’s stories will ever make even one man realize that what seemed like an ordinary night of his life was a life-changing horror story from the perspective of the woman involved. And I no longer think there’s value in the mere fact of getting people to pay attention to what I have to say, especially when the attention is temporary, incredulous, or overwhelmingly negative.

I still do this kind of writing, I am doing it now, but I no longer hope for any outcome other than my own relief. This is because I have lost faith in the idea that there might be anything any individual can say or write that will change the minds of people who, consciously or subconsciously, believe that women matter less than men.