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109 comments

[–] RawSienna 79 points Edited

I think it’s pretty sinister how sexual perversions, paraphilias, sex offenses and antisocial behaviours are now rebranded as “kink”. Fuck your “kink”.

Ya I mean "kinky" used to be wanting to have sex with the lights on.

Is that not normal?

I read a "better sex" book from the 70s and they recommended putting on candles. So I guess it wasn't normal back then. All the drawings had lots of hair, too.

It didn't used to be, and you can still find that theme in older works. In the movie version of "In her Shoes" Toni Collette and her Nigel play it out in a scene. He turns the lights on, she turns them off...

Fantasies about raping and murdering women is not normal. I can't believe people are trying to normalize the behavior of serial killers. So glad she dumped him. She's less likely to get murdered now. I would change my number and move so when he decides to bring his fantasy to life he can't find me! WTF!

exactly. fantasizing about hurting people is horrific, but watching videos of women being tortured, raped, and killed is downright psychopathic.

We definitely need more kink shaming. Women should be able to talk about their boundaries and what makes them uncomfortable. More kink shaming, less boundary shaming in 2022.

Definitely

I work in a public library and we recently acquired a book of kink stories and I was SO APPALLED. I wanted to quit because of it, because normalizing this shit is what is putting women at risk of violence and now the library is making this available like it's perfectly healthy to read ? D: It's such a sickness in our society.

Oh, and need I remind you that our Acquisitions Librarian is male. And he's the only one who is choosing what books go into our collection. So you can imagine just what is being chosen.

I hope that book mysteriously gets lost.

It's absolutely the sort of book some person would forget to return, never to be seen again. Or you know it could be in the library but wow nobody can ever locate the copy, gee, maybe someone stole it....

Ugh, fuck that. Is he your boss? Maybe suggest that others should have some input?

He's not but our management has the celebrated tendency to not give a shit about any concerns of their employees. If any change is going to happen it needs to come from outside from our patrons being able to raise enough of a stink about it, but most of them don't seem aware of the issues. They just either ignore all the TRA books or take them and hide them among the stacks. I'm like "SAY SOMETHING TO MANAGEMENT!" If the protests were loud enough our director wouldn't have a choice but to listen because, hey, the library is run by the taxpayers who pay his salary after all. :P

More kink shaming, less boundary shaming in 2022.

Boundary shaming - what a great term. I’m going to use that.

[–] Hermione 60 points Edited

In college my girlfriends and I were on a guy’s computer at his apartment and for some reason got to see all his disgusting porn. We renamed all the file folders and shuffled them to mix it with family photos and term papers.

Hopefully it screwed things up for him somehow.

[–] Calliope 78 points Edited

That reply is delusional. Getting off on weird stuff is like watching tickling fetish videos or balloon popping or something. Watching women get stabbed and r*ped? That's criminal. If that's what gets you off, you should be afraid of people's responses, and you should be in therapy.

There’s nothing wrong with kink shaming.

After all, most men shame women who just want “vanilla” sex.

[–] La 6 points

They also shame those who don't. Suddenly totally normal women are 'demisexual' instead of just women.

There is no correct way to be a woman

Yes, because perfectly normal and ethical people watch other people getting tortured for fun for shits and giggles.

I wonder when the first ISIS warrior who held Yezidi women as sex slaves will try to use "it was my kink, your honor!" as an excuse.

I'm sure the ultra woke would say, "it's their culture to take sex slaves. How DARE you judge!!!!!!!!!!1"

[+] [Deleted] 36 points

Some people can masturbate to images of people getting stabbed and raped and crying and lead ethical lives and be good neighbors or whatnot ?

Am I the only one who immediately thought "yeah, like Ted Bundy" ?

EXACTLY. I don't understand how he doesn't know what type of males typically find gore arousing. It's not the wholesome boy next door. This stuff is pathological, and it often times escalated to actual violence. There are so many serial killers and violent rapists who were found to be engrossed in that type of "content".

[–] ShieldMaiden 28 points Edited

Recently saw an AITA on Reddit where a woman was shamed for “controlling” and “manipulating” her boyfriend by asking him to stop looking at nude photos of ex-partners. Nope. That is a huge red flag that he is probably a cheater, she is well within her rights to ask her boyfriend to stop looking at other women naked, that is a normal and reasonable request and how entitled are men to think that their partners should just tolerate them ogling naked women they used to have sex with?? Gross.

[–] sconsolato [OP] 21 points Edited

Are you serious??? This is utterly insane, but I don't even know why I am surprised. Of course males would support depraved male behavior. As if nude images of random women wouldn't be bad enough, but exes?!? Women he's shared love and intimacy with? Where there might still be feelings involved? Hell no! How could anyone with sense think that's okay, and worse yet, think that she is in the wrong for having an issue with it?

[–] sconsolato [OP] 15 points Edited

I'm so sick of how this movement gaslights women and makes us into villains.

I mean, this is exactly the sort of reaction many people with this sort of interest fear...

Ok, here’s a truth bomb about shame; it’s like pain. Nobody likes to feel it (barring these peeves maybe), but it’s necessary because it tells you there’s something wrong with you. Should it be applied to things like homosexuality? Of course not. Should it be applied to enjoying the murder and rape of other people and living beings? Yes!

It shouldn’t hurt to walk. It should hurt to bang your foot otherwise you’d bang it so hard you’d crush it.

So take your shame guys and get treated. Solve the underlying problem with yourselves.

I think I'm getting this growing realization that with male socialization comes the idea that working on oneself and bettering oneself is a negative thing. Perhaps seen as changing and not being true/genuine to who you "really are". Girls get socialized to make themselves smaller and get molded by the world so as to be more appealing, meanwhile boys are socialized to mold the world to their liking - it's what makes them "men" is what they're told. It's incredibly toxic. I've done some things I'm not proud of but I grew from it and I'm a better/more empathetic person after accepting that I was terrible - and I keep trying to be better. But most men? "Nah, the world sucks, it's against me and what I truly want - just let me get off to brutalizing women in peace". Point out a man is being terrible and he just doubles down and becomes more terrible.

Girls get socialized to make themselves smaller and get molded by the world so as to be more appealing, meanwhile boys are socialized to mold the world to their liking - it's what makes them "men" is what they're told.

You really worded this perfectly, thank you!

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