Is that not normal?

It didn't used to be, and you can still find that theme in older works. In the movie version of "In her Shoes" Toni Collette and her Nigel play it out in a scene. He turns the lights on, she turns them off...

I’m a Boomer. “Normal” heterosexual sex in the not so long ago times was lights out, no oral, no anal, no doggy, strictly missionary. Quick, statistically no orgasm for the female because little to no foreplay. Oh, and no one would have dreamed of shaving any of their pubic hair off.