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I think I'm getting this growing realization that with male socialization comes the idea that working on oneself and bettering oneself is a negative thing. Perhaps seen as changing and not being true/genuine to who you "really are". Girls get socialized to make themselves smaller and get molded by the world so as to be more appealing, meanwhile boys are socialized to mold the world to their liking - it's what makes them "men" is what they're told. It's incredibly toxic. I've done some things I'm not proud of but I grew from it and I'm a better/more empathetic person after accepting that I was terrible - and I keep trying to be better. But most men? "Nah, the world sucks, it's against me and what I truly want - just let me get off to brutalizing women in peace". Point out a man is being terrible and he just doubles down and becomes more terrible.

Girls get socialized to make themselves smaller and get molded by the world so as to be more appealing, meanwhile boys are socialized to mold the world to their liking - it's what makes them "men" is what they're told.

You really worded this perfectly, thank you!