I read a "better sex" book from the 70s and they recommended putting on candles. So I guess it wasn't normal back then. All the drawings had lots of hair, too.
It didn't used to be, and you can still find that theme in older works. In the movie version of "In her Shoes" Toni Collette and her Nigel play it out in a scene. He turns the lights on, she turns them off...
I think it’s pretty sinister how sexual perversions, paraphilias, sex offenses and antisocial behaviours are now rebranded as “kink”. Fuck your “kink”.