I just finished reading this very funny memoir yesterday by Robert Webb, best known as part of the comedy duo Mitchell & Webb or as my favorite manchild Jeremy on Peep Show.

Webb's memoir is more than a summation of his life up until when he wrote it (I believe it's from a few years ago, 2017 or so). It's actually an interesting exploration of how his life has been impacted by toxic masculinity. Funnily enough, the cover's main laudatory blurb is from JK Rowling!

Throughout the memoir, Webb is very obviously gender critical. There are whole sections of the book, especially near the end, where he talks about the utter bullshit of gendered expectations for both boys and girls. It was interesting to hear this from a man's perspective, especially a man writing about the work he has done on himself to become a better husband and father, and an overall better man.

I think it would be valuable if we had more examples of men writing about all the "unlearning" they had to do to free themselves of toxic masculinity and masculine gender stereotypes. He rightly notes that the ways in which men and women free themselves from the patriarchy, inasmuch as they are able, are NOT the same, and that they are rooted in both physical sex difference and the differing expectations placed upon men and women.

I wonder why he hasn't been an open GC ally like Graham Linehan, a man in a similar line of work, has been? I suspect it's because Webb has two young daughters and doesn't want to jeopardize the precarious and unpredictable earning potential of a career in the entertainment industry. Wouldn't even surprise me if he has been one of those "comedy friends" Linehan has mentioned who send him supportive emails agreeing with him, but who are worried about hurting their own careers if they are explicitly critical of gender ideology in public.

Linehan has written recently in one of his newsletters how he has had work and other opportunities dry up due to his outspoken GC beliefs. He has also separated from his wife because of the strain this has put on their marriage.

So naturally I don't blame Webb for not speaking out. But he clearly gets IT, and he understands what is at stake for women and men under the gendered norms of the patriarchy.

One funny thing to note: he and his wife have explained the idea of "patriarchy" to their young daughters in ways they can understand. Their family name for it is "The Trick." Sometimes his daughters will notice some unfairness in their lives and ask him or his wife if it's because of "The Trick." That bit made me laugh!

Webb seems like a good father now who wasn't always a good father in the past. It sounds like he has acknowledged his shortcomings and how he was raised, and then worked hard to overcome his issues in order to BECOME a better dad to his kids.

I always appreciate reading self-reflective pieces/memoir from people who have the self-awareness to understand how and where their flaws as humans have emerged, and then display the initiative to grow as people.