so I came across an old book called "What a Young Husband Ought to Know" by Sylvanus Stall as a suggestion by my mother-in-law. It was written in the late 1800's. The beginning has some interesting takes on the differences between men and women and the good qualities of each. There's advice on how a man should be considerate of his wife and also that he should curb his sexual appetite. never masturbate, provide gifts his wife whenever he has suitable amount of savings, how to treat his wife when she's menstruating and when's she due to give birth, be wanted in one of later chapters it goes into a diatribe on abortion but If you remove that one part I think this would be a perfect book in how men should act

It also shows that men know even in the fucking 1800's knew what women wanted and how to be a decent person, they just chose to ignore it and be misogynistic shit heads

some extracts from the book

DIFFERENCES OF SEX: It is both difficult and unnecessary to determine which is the superior of the two sexes. When the subject is regarded in its true light there is no superiority upon the part of either, and at the same time each is superior to the other in the sphere in which God designed them to move. The truth was perhaps aptly represented by President Lincoln when presented at the same time with two hats by rival hatters. Both hats were about as perfect as it was possible for human skill to make them. He desired to recognize this perfection in both, and yet to avoid discrimination in favor of either, and in that matchless sufficiency which qualified him for the demands of almost any situation, Mr. Lincoln, in accepting the hats, said: "Gentlemen, your hats mutually excel each other." The same is true of men and women; they mutually excel each other. In man's place, he is superior; and in woman's place, she is superior. The wisdom with which God has adapted each for the important place which they are to occupy in life is well worth our thought and study, and a clear apprehension of the subject will help to remove many of the misunderstandings, estrangements and conflicts which so frequently arise in married life.That neither is superior to the other, but that they are two parts of one complete whole, segments of the same circle, and that their union is absolutely essential to unity and entirety, will be best understood as we study what these differences are. In some respects man is inferior to woman, while in other respects woman is inferior to man. In a happy marriage these differences become complemental, rendering possible that superior unity in which the two are made one.

ESSENTIALS IN HUSBAND AND HOME: Before writing of what a young husband ought to know with regard to his wife and his children, subjects which are to engage our thought in Part Second and Part Third, it is important that we should carefully consider some matters which he ought to know concerning himself; for his future happiness, and usefulness as well, will be quite as much dependent upon the mental, physical and moral equipment which he personally brings to the union as the endowments and qualifications which are possessed by his partner and companion.If your wife is to have a fair chance for a pleasant home and a happy and useful life, she will need a husband who can sacrifice his personal luxuries and self-indulgences in order that he may share with her and the family the comforts and blessings of their home—a man who will scorn the saloon, avoid the club, remain away from the lodge, give up his cigar, and spend his time and his money for the comfort and happiness of his family.There are hundreds of homes which are rendered unhappy, and in many senses miserable, because of the neglect and want which are due wholly to the selfishness and lack of consideration upon the part of the husband. If you wish to preserve and perpetuate that which is noblest and best in your wife and your children, you can only do so by making your home the centre of your thought, and by making your loved ones the sharers of your purse and your pleasures. If you wish them to live for your comfort and happiness, they have an equal right to expect you to live and sacrifice for their comfort and happiness. Almost any promising bride may soon be made an ill-tempered wife, a discontented homekeeper and an indifferent mother by an improvident, extravagant, selfish and neglectful husband. In most instances, ruined homes come principally from drink, idleness, bad temper, shiftlessness and thriftless habits, brutal husbands, slatternly wives and Christless living. Do your duty faithfully to your wife and your children, and then, if home and happiness are wrecked, the responsibility will not rest upon you.

Be devoted: Keep up your courtship. Remember and repeat the little attentions which gave you pleasure months and years ago simply because you knew that they were a source of pleasure to the one whom you coveted as your bride and companion for life. How can your wife love and respect you if you neglect and forsake her? During your courtship, the club, the lodge and the society of others had to accept second place. You preferred her company to that of all others. If you are to her and she to you what each should be, this preference of the one for the society and companionship of the other will continue throughout life. Your home will be your clubhouse, and no society, or gilded hall, or corner grocery with its lounging company, will be able to attract you from her and from your home.Most men who frequent these places are attracted there; but some go there because repelled from their homes. There are women whose inconsiderate treatment of their husbands repels them from their families and their homes, and the husbands simply resort to the club or other place of assemblage in their natural search for a place of refuge and fellowship. But such instances are the exception. In the majority of cases the fault is largely, if not wholly, with the husband. Oftentimes his conduct is due to his thoughtlessness, but more frequently to pure selfishness.