I attended a birth class hosted by my local hospital, and it was "pregnant people this, pregnant person that". 😡

I was looking at ways to naturally induce labor (I am full term in a few days and I am DONE, haha), and I saw this helpful statement from some normie health site: "Also, for pregnant people who have sex with men, there are prostaglandin hormones in semen that might help ripen the cervix."

Louder:

Pregnant people who have sex with men

This was an article written by a woman for pregnant women. Somehow men are entitled to be called men and not ejaculators, even when we are literally talking about them ejaculating! But we can't say "woman".

You really cannot escape it. It is everywhere, and I seethe every time I see it. Misogyny is rampant in our society. The only escape is to escape not only men, but every other woman who has been indoctrinated. So literally, we'd need an island to ourselves. I know there's a TERF island, but I can't actually move there (I've looked). The only thing to do is suffer in silence or speak out and take our lumps for it. I'm getting to the point where the cost of silence is starting to outweigh the cost of speaking out, personally.

I definitely have my moments where i think... If i just completely stopped reading this shit, I would probably barely encounter it. I could just "chill out" and stop talking about this.

I don't know how to describe it, but i just cannot do it. I cannot stay quiet, i just cannot live with myself not speaking up about this. This is incidentally how i discovered I'm not a coward because i realized i would rather have zero friends than lie about this. I already lost some friends over this and even if it was initially sad, I'm better off without them. What's the point of lying, so they like me? But they wouldn't cause that shit isn't me. Maybe dramatic: but I'd rather be hated for who I am than being loved for living a lie.

This is probably not very helpful for you tbh. You have been peaked much longer than me! For me it just helps knowing we are not alone. The Penn swimmers mother just spoke up. We have absolute queen JKR we have warrior Maya Forstatter, we have freaking amazing, smart, brave women fighting this.

My hope is that this common enemy will lead to a revival of feminism, a strong and powerful fourth wave. A new sisterhood. That's my naive hope and what i cling to.

Otherwise friends, hobbies, pets, traveling, etc are good ways to distract from the sad parts of this...

I'm a GNC woman, so I don't get to just opt out. I have people everyday calling me a man and side eying me in public restrooms.

On top of that, I'm gay, so it's saturated my community. For me there is no escaping.

Now people can see why I hate genderism so much. At least gay people don't force the whole world to participate in our shit.

You see, it's sort of difficult to ignore the problem when your own daughter is believing in the lie that she is a man and can become one like magic.

There's a common belief among the GC crowd that "once you peak, you can never go back."

And while often they mean "you see TRAs become GC, but you never see GC people become TRAs," another thing that is implied is the whole, "once you see it, you can never unsee it."

Once you peak, you start noticing this stuff everywhere. And since our position is the common sense, science-based, reality-based position, we would literally have to be lying to ourselves to stop seeing it. It's why it's so hard, and why a lot of us feel the exact same exhaustion and disgust that you're expressing.

I tried to look away. In fact, before I fully peaked I was trying to distance myself and look away. Somewhere around 2010 things got really weird in the world of social justice. But I just chalked it up to "those weird 13 year olds on tumblr" and never actually believed back then that some day we'd be dealing with transbians, males in women's sport, or bun/bunself pronouns... boy, was I ever wrong. I'm a little mad at myself for looking away, because I feel like we let our guard down and I feel guilty for letting this shit sneak in and ruin gay rights, women's rights, and now children's rights.

On one level, yeah I wish I could stop caring. But on another level, I know that we have to care about this and we have to fight. This is feminism's current huge battle and we can't let our sisters - past and present - down.

Edit: But there is definitely a need to take breaks every now and then. This can get really overwhelming, seeing just how much the world has abandoned women is disheartening and demoralizing. I have to step back and not check Twitter, Ovarit, Facebook, etc. for a while. I go "touch grass," as the kids say :) Sometimes I also like to watch old shows and movies from the Before Times that called out this nonsense, like MadTV or Little Britain.

I'm not sure what to suggest. I feel highly distressed by the recent news, especially out of Texas, where it seems like everyone has come out of the woodwork to support hormones and surgeries on actual fucking children. They are sterilizing children, cutting off healthy body parts, and celebrities and the mainstream media celebrate this. There is no real journalism anymore, outside of a few brave outlets. It's just sickening. How can this be happening? How can so many people be okay with hurting children's minds and bodies, especially after years (fucking years) of denying that anyone was ever touching children under the age of 18. TRAs are evil. I want to believe some are just ignorant and misguided, but the people orchestrating this are pure evil. It's so wrong what they're doing. I'm not a religious person. I don't even think I believe in hell. But I hope to God these people have to give an accounting of their actions someday.

I find it’s good to limit exposure to things that enrage me to once a day, maybe a few times a week, to keep up with the times. I wish I had the energy and strength to do something like Posie Parker, but I can’t. So I just do what I can to say what needs to be said, but I don’t try to play whack a mole with trying to peak everyone or right all the wrongs.

I can’t not care though. I have a little daughter I don’t want to put into swimming classes because I’m worried about some TIM coming into the locker rooms. I shouldn’t have to worry about that.

And if you don’t care, they just pursue the boundaries and keep pushing until you do. They force your hand. It’s really an assault on everyone’s mental health.

The only solution is to work on your mental health. I’m not saying that it’s all in your head - not at all. Rather, I’m saying that it’s impossible to effectively cope with this constant onslaught of awful gender bullshit if your health isn’t in a good place, which you say it isn’t. Mental health is vitally important. I hope you can access the support you need.

I don't know if this works for other people, but every week, sometimes daily, I do something to fight this. Maybe writing/sending a letter or an email to a company/organisation/politician or sharing information like article or studies on social media or engaging a TRA somewhere and correct their false information. Or i do something big like donate or talk to people in person about all this. Even if its something tiny, i've done something.

And i set times during the day like after 20h for example that i just close everything and watch a movie or play a video game and not think about it. And I can do that, because I did something about it. I am part of the terven offensive, even if i'm just a little foot soldier. But i'm doing my bit and that is what helps me find peace every day.

I am here so obviously I still “care” a bit, but mostly I’ve given up. I think this one is lost. There’s no going back to anything like a ‘before’ the crazy set in, and at some point I realised part of what was driving me crazy was not realising that. This means, for me, trying to use my energy not to rail against it in my own head, but instead to come up with creative ways to live “around” (by going around) it. Find a new way to be, find myself a new normal, think up all the things I can do where it is less likely to be in my face and try them out. This covers all areas of life: media, reading, people, activities etc. etc. So it’s kind of fun, sometimes energising, to ‘give up’ in this sense, and to build a different life with different things in it that have nothing to do with TRA-world. Appreciating that these opportunities keep being narrowed, but, yeah, one has to be creative. (This is separate from this question of whether or not to be a GC activist in any sense…this is about one’s own personal / private life.)

I know what you mean. Sometimes I think "I've been really immersed in GC stuff for a while now. I should probably take a break."

So I'll put on a podcast about botany, or ghost stories, or mental health, and 9 times out of 10, there's a trans person featured front and center and some sort of condescending "we love trans people here on this podcast" opening statement.

It's like everyone is infected with the gender brainworms, and it's all anyone can talk/think about anymore. Suddenly trans is the height of culture and intellectualism and no one can go 5 seconds without saying something about "front holes" or "girlgasms" and how much they love castrating little boys.

Sounds like you need a lifestyle change. Can I ask your age? What are your hobbies? Focusing on my hobbies, work, family, friends, quitting weed, limiting screen time, exercise all helped me. I have been diagnosed with ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder as a young adolescent. Shrinks and meds didn't really help. Now at 23 I feel like I'm in a really good place.

Reading classic literature has also helped me. The world has always been fucked up. There have also always been good people who rise above.

SAME.

I know ruminating on this isn't good for my mental health, but it's completely unavoidable.

I was listening to a 2 part episode from "Behind the Bastards," and the male host kept saying "pregnant people" or correcting himself by saying that if he accidentally uttered the word "women." Meanwhile, the two women on the show just said "WOMEN." Had I not been interested in the subject matter, I would've turned it off.

I'm applying for jobs, and all the applications ask for gender and pronouns.

I'll see an interesting YouTube video, but when I check out the creator's other videos, they have a video devoted to bashing "terfs"

I'm scared to join a gym because all the locker rooms allow TW and NBs.

It goes on and on and ON. I can't escape this crap! I'm so TIRED!

As a not overly privileged woman, it is impossible to not care. It affects our daily lives. I mean, I am pretty much a hermit, but I still do like to do things for my health like go to the gym. Haven't seen any trans in the changing rooms yet, but I fear it is only a question of time.

For a woman as rich as J.K. Rowling, it would be easy to not care, she can buy her own private pool, and she doesn't have to work outside the home (or work at all, really) anyways. And she still cares, cause she's awesome like that.

For advice on how to handle it ... psychologically, really, what somewhat works for me is to pretend you're the hero in a book, and sadly, it's a dystopic novel. But at the end, good (or,in this case, sanity) will triumph ... probably.

I hope we will soon be as organized as the suffragettes were. (When a woman who had been imprisoned for fighting for the cause was released from prison, she'd be received by a group of fellow Suffragettes, and be given flowers and a kind of medal, honoring her sacrifice. We need that sort of thing. Special acknowledgements for women who lose their jobs for staying sane, for women who get pestered by police, and for women who are imprisoned.)

I understand and empathize completely. If it weren't for the sisterhood and the camaraderie I feel for you all, I would have distanced myself a long time ago. The mental and emotional strain sometimes feels like it isn't worth it. Yesterday was my first day back on this site for almost a month. I take occasional breaks from all related content, and sometimes even the internet. Sometimes, a week or two, sometimes more. It is necessary for me, and it's okay if it is for you too. ♥️

Edit: > when I hear the ACLU say word for word that they think TIMs are real women and 'cis' women are secondary.

Holy shit I cannot believe this.

I relate 100%. I try really hard to avoid this stuff and it keeps cropping up everywhere too. I do take breaks from this website and Twitter (I have a side account just for terfin'). But stuff keeps showing up in the mainstream. It feels like there's no escape sometimes.

Sometimes there are bright moments though. A friend of mine who moved to Texas started complaining about the "anti trans kids" thing there and I gave him information about how Sweden and Finland are stopping child transition too. I comiserated about the state overreach/probably genuine bigotry behind such laws but basically explained why child transition IS harmful. To my surprise he was pretty receptive. So sometimes this stuff being all over the media becomes a teaching/peaking opportunity.

I try to remind myself that, for instance, the Penn swimming team is something I would never even think about under normal circumstances. I also see more and more people pushing back, the Penn dude is super obviously a man especially in a swimsuit. My hope is that as this movement pushes more and more for more ridiculous and downright misogynistic/homophobic/hateful demands that more and more people will start to wake up.

I confess that I kind of have stopped caring, in the sense that I'm just feeling thoroughly numb and drained. I've noped out of the ever more insufferable "queer" community and embraced the prospect of dying alone as a crazy dog lady, unless career stress or climate disaster kill me first. (Death by nuclear apocalypse is a long shot, but the odds have crept up a bit recently.)

I think you're feeling sick and overwhelmed because you aren't doing anything about this. I'm not writing this in a finger pointing "you should be doing more, what do you expect" way.

You're on campus, but are you in a GC club talking about how insane all this is? My guess is no. At work, you probably also can't talk about it, and again I'm going to assume genderism is shoved in your face on a regular basis (be it coworkers, pronoun signatures, etc) without you being able to do anything about it; even so much as speaking freely.

I feel the same. Yes, I know the reasons why we 'can't' speak up. But right now there are people in Ukraine standing in front of tanks. I think all of this cognitive dissonance is occurring because we know that we're right. We know how utterly, fantastically stupid genderism's claims are. But we're scared to speak out because of the social pressure and potential financial damage (being fired, black listed, and potentially facing insane TRAs).

I think the only solution is speaking out. I know it doesn't work; that friends and family cut off relationships. But I think aligning both your thoughts AND actions/words with the truth is the only solution.

All I can say beyond that is, sending you a virtual hug.

I do tune out. Ovarit is the one place I encounter this shit full-on. I stopped following Radblr because it was too repetitive. My one other social media fix is about cats. I stopped watching the ABC news or buying papers years ago because it was pro-trans and depressing in general. It hasn’t yet come up in conversation among the women I’m socialising with - they mostly talk about personal matters and the crafts we’re all doing.

This is a bubble. Bubbles pop. Unfortunately, I think a whole lot of people are going to be hurt in the process. Financially, emotionally, physically. The hatred and rage is too palpable, from the people who believe in this bullshit. They will not relinquish, like most tyrants, their grasp on power without hurting as many people as they can on the way down. It's a power play, it's about power. It's "ill gotten" or however you want to put it. So they are eventually going to lose it, all of it.

I tried to bury my head in the sand. Hell, I tried to somehow make myself believe in gender woo.

And then people in my life started "coming out" as NB, etc.

TRAs started interrogating me whenever I posted anything on social media, even innocuous mundane stuff. They "needed to know if I was safe"

And it crept into my work.

And then my family.

And I couldn't make myself believe that the man in my family was magically a woman now. I couldn't put my head in the sand when they started sexually harassing me at work, in my hobbies, my day to day life.

So yeah, I tried. I still try to keep away from it all. Then something happens and I come here to get a little dose of sanity.

I do a couple of different things to cope:

1. I blocked twitter on all devices between 10am-7-pm. Sometimes I don't look at it all. I prefer ovarit and my chosen podcasts/substacks anyways. I like longer form discussion of topics, not bite-sized takes.
2. I have in-person conversations with my real life friends about this. It helps. Nearly everyone I have spoken to in person sees the illogic trans activism's demands and in trying to overrule sex with gender.
3. I actively work on liberating my own mind from this ideology. I expose myself to the best thinking/scholarship on the topic. I remind myself that I do not need to say 'childbearing people' to refer to the group of people who give birth. I say women because only females can give birth and woman means adult human female. This one is particularly salient for me because of my line of work. I say the correct sex-based terms. I know I can claim ignorance if I ever have to in order to protect my job or otherwise.
4. When I have opportunities to give anonymous feedback, I do it with the full force of my intellect. I write meaningful feedback to organizations I am involved with (again... only when I can be anonymous) and to businesses that I have engaged with who are centering this ideology within their organizations.
5. I save the best written arguments I find so I can refer to them easily when others are interested and when I need them to send to organizations.
6. I listen to lots of other podcasts and read books in alignment with my interests unrelated to sex/gender. I will not take down this ideology myself and I won't sacrifice myself on its altar in any form.

I peaked in 2013. It’s been a slog. I’ve taken some breaks and became immersed in other things for a while on occasion. It’s important. We’re in a marathon. We’re all wasting portions of our precious finite lives combating an absurdity when we shouldn’t have to. It’s important to seek balance and try to live well.

This issue is so absurd. That’s what gets me. I wanted to dedicate my activism career to other issues - abortion and climate top my list. But then one day I fell down some rabbit hole and I’ve been wasting my time arguing against this absurdist movement that’s forcing people to pretend men are women. I wouldn’t be able to go back in time and convince my past self that this is the future because it’s too stupid. It’s not funny anymore, because as absurd as it is, they’ve made women the butt of the joke.

I think it’s important to try to focus on an internal locus of control. We don’t control the universe or humanity or society. We only control ourselves. I’m not focused on winning this ideological war. I don’t have control over how stupid or cowardly anyone is. I’m focused on my own resistance to a movement that wants to break women down and subjugate us. They want to deny us our own damn word, the very concept that we exist, and that we exist not alone, but with other women who have a common struggle. It’s not about the end to me, it’s about the fight. Because as long as we fight we’re claiming our full humanity. As long as we fight they haven’t dominated us. They can’t win until women resign, and we never will. I never will. That’s what I control, and I what I know.

I have deliberately immersed myself in activities where trans stuff should never be an issue, e.g., gardening (plants don't care if you misgender them), singing in a choir (it's your vocal range that matters, not your sex), and watching TV sitcoms from saner times (Seinfeld, 30 Rock). I haven't yet kicked the news and social media habits, but they really are grinding me down, so it may be time to unplug for a while. Sometimes you just have to prioritize your own health.

I feel the same way. I work in tech so misogyny impacts my life on a daily basis even if TRAs don't. For me, this whole movement is just an overt indicator for the increasing misogyny that I've experienced for the last decade. I think I pay attention mostly because I'm terrified of where things are headed, especially the hatred for feminists. But, also because I'm hopeful that if/when the general public peaks that maybe things will start getting a little better. Perhaps people will be more conscience of how deeply engrained sexism is in our lives.

One thing that makes me feel a bit better and like maybe I could pay less attention is to remember that my body is fully intact. There are lots of people who will have life-long health issues because of this. Their genitals will still be mutilated after it goes out of fashion. I'm grateful that I will be able to move on with my life unscathed after the mass-peakening.

It's been a long time since I became aware of genderist politics and culture. After a while, I think one's reactions level out. The factor of novelty and surprise is gone. It's just another obnoxious feature in the human landscape, like other forms of woman-hating, racism, fascistic nationalism, war, crime, etc. etc. etc.

It's not that I accept it, it's that I feel pretty level about calling it out when I see it, along with all those other things.

I know it's different for those of us who risk jobs, friends, and reputation when you speak up. There, it seems to me that solidarity has to be your support. And that's part of what Ovarit is for. It's important to calibrate the way you use it though, it's all too easy to get on the outrage train and not to be able to get off when you need to. Real life comrades are better if only for that reason!

I tried to put it to the back of my mind for a few years and succeeded to some degree but it always flared back up when I had to watch one too many I Am Jazz commercials or whatever. I agree with NotCis about focusing on your own health for a while, if you can force yourself to prioritize sleep and exercise until you get a stable routine it should make everything else more manageable.

Honestly I would possibly never have peaked if these people just left me alone. I never had anything against trans people, but I just can't be allowed a private thought anymore - I hate that the whole world is pushing me to centre and celebrate an issue. I should be allowed to be meh about things! But no, I'm not allowed to go a bloody day without being reminded that trans people have it so much worse than me. Even just meeting up with friends, normal women, they always work into conversation "It's so awful what trans people go through!"

OMFG. Get out of my brain!

I want to write lots but I just found out I have COVID and am way too tired lol but I just wanted to say that what you wrote really resonates with me. One of the other commenters here wrote that she is immersed in activities that usually have zero to do with gender nonsense. That’s one of my strategies too. I’m really into home decor, my handmade jewelry business, cooking, doing my grad school thing, being a mom… I don’t participate in ANY “LGBTQ” stuff anymore.

Sometimes I indulge in a bit of dissociation, not the numb kind, the kind where I watch the human race destroy itself and laugh at it, as if I'm not a part of it.

Yes, that's me pretty much. I care in that I don't hide my views, especially if I'm around women who seem ready to peak themselves. However, I now avoid all "womens' groups" and "lgbt groups" because it's a sure bet that they will be crawling in trans people and their handmaidens.

The only way all of the annoying larpers will ever give it up is if they don't get the attention they want out of it. It sucks that I had to give up my womens' groups, but in the long run this will kill them faster. I also am "underground" in that I still make an effort to have womens' hangs, but I don't go to anything that is advertised as such. Unfortunately that is like a big "COME TAKE ME OVER" signal to people obsessed with gender ideology.

I can't stop caring, but I do try to step back and see the humor in it. A large minority of our society has completely abandoned objective reality. And it's one thing for TIPs to do it since they're delusional by definition, but they've convinced a bunch of people to go along with it to be "nice". The jokes write themselves.

I tried, but then I realized that it's impossible to participate in public life without encountering gender woo that meaningfully affects my life. The gym I go to has a TIM I've encountered in the changing room talking about his "boobies." Pronouns are all over the place at work and though I can filter keywords out of my e-mail, I can't do the same in our chat system, and every single women's channel has had the argument about "what does 'woman' actually mean, though?" The neighbourhood I live in has a TIM regularly adding graffiti along the lines of "die TERF scum" on signs around an elementary school. A local politician proudly disseminated a newsletter with a photo of her standing smugly beside a "no TERFs, no SWERFs" sticker on a park sign. Encountering this without fighting back in some way is a violation of my dignity.

Thankfully I’ve not really been impacted by this much, just annoyed.