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Clothing and gearBalance trainers?
If you have a balance trainer - which kind have you got, do you like it, and how all do you use it?
I'm currently using bosu pods... they're sort of like baby versions of a bosu ball that were affordable and easier to store. I put one under each foot.
I'm especially interested to hear from people using the board-on-a-roller style, because I'm interested in getting one in the future.
Yeah I see this stuff on Reddit a lot from men trying to argue that they're not that dangerous to date. Every study I've seen includes male partners and doesn't clarify this clearly.
"Dishonest Journalists have spun this study to suggest that lesbian relationships are more violent than heterosexual or gay male relationships because 39.2% of women who have lived with women have experienced domestic violence. However, 11.4% report being victimized by a female partner, and 30.4% of women who have lived with women report being victimized by a male partner. "
Pdf here https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/181867.pdf
Useful Tumblr post https://prokareito.tumblr.com/post/649794446541586432/are-lesbians-inherently-more-abusive-i-keep-on
They get their source from this charlatan named Strauss who supposedly suffered child abuse at the hands of his mother and went on a quest to data dredge the shit out of statistics to fit his delusional narrative that all women are evil.
If you check out his methodology on his IPV model, he lumps in stuff like nagging and insults by women with orbital fractures and broken bones by men.
He separates demographics when it fits the narrative and does the opposite when it doesn't.
And he inspired a couple other buddies to do the same thing.
I've got some interesting links and screenshots about this subject. It's so obvious and pathetic.
Thanks!
I ended up on some page for male victims of domestic violence today and found myself back reading these absolutely ridiculous studies that they use as their 'proof'
Omg, please somebody read this and laugh with me at how pathetic of an attempt this is to paint women as not as violent as men but MORE.
Data is from s self reported survey of course but the men didn't even think they were abused! They just assigned them the abused status based on. Word salad , number mashing gibberish.
How can anyone take this seriously? :D
I wrote an article last year about how the media portrays lesbian relationships as toxic and abusive.
I wrote about it because BioWare is a game developer that is always being praised for including gay romances, and yet, almost every lesbian romance in their games is toxic and abusive: bronka and helspith, celene and briala, sera and lavellan, and a shitton more.
There's also Tara and Willow from Buffy (Willow emotionally abused Tara).
There is SO LITTLE representation of us, and what little there is is a deliberate distortion of the truth. Add to the fact that people are dumb sheep who will believe whatever the TV tells them, and it becomes apparent that people are literally being brainwashed to perceive lesbianism as toxic, abusive, and little more than a porn category for men.
And anytime this false notion is challenged with positive representation for lesbians, people lash out because they don't want to confront their own shittiness. I.E. the backlash for Pixar's Light-year.
Thank you for writing about it! I can't believe how easily people swallow this story.
I’m not sure but as a lesbian, the myth is so prevalent I have been told to it my face.
It’s just another way men do their “women are just as violent than men if not more” bullshit, to deflect from their behavior. With some added lesbophobia.
And now that TIM crimes are recorded as being perpetrated by women, I expect this to get worse
Especially as the AGP TiMs call their heterosexual relationships ‘lesbian’
This topic just goes to show the problems with vague terms like domestic violence, intimate partner violence and family violence. As is the case with "honor killing" and the "gender-based violence," these terms were intentionally created to obscure the sex of the perpetrators of most of these kinds of violence.
I think instead of speaking of DV, IPV and FV, it would be far better to use more specific terms that differentiate between male against female violence, female against male violence, male against male violence and female against female violence. I think then we'd find that lesbians have suffered mainly MAF IPV, MAF DV and MAF FV. Along with FAF childhood FV/DV in the case of those who were physically abused as children by mothers, grans, aunts, sisters and room mates or dorm mates in insitutional settings.
Another issue with the term "domestic violence" is that it's defined as "violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner" (Oxford) - and in that definition "the home" is usually assumed to be some kind of private apartment or house. Which leaves out a lot of violence that happens in long-term health care facilities where many older and disabled women reside, aka nursing homes or care homes, as well as communal residences such as dorms, barracks, boarding houses, orphanages, long-term shelters, refugee and displaced persons camps and so on.
In addition to often mixing up and conflating IPV with domestic violence and all violence committed by someone the victim has a familial or close relationship with, another problem with the research in this area is that information on IPV, DV and FV is usually collected on women only from age 15-49 or 18-49. So although studies speak of "lifetime experiences of IPV," they usually leave out many decades of women's actual lifetimes.
Domestic violence against women age 50 and up by the women's male intimate partners AND by their own adolescent and adult sons (and grandsons) is very common, and rising dramatically - but it all gets ignored because most studies and statistical databases do not include older women.
The majority of the existing evidence-base on violence against women focuses on women of reproductive age (15-49), and globally there is sparse evidence concerning patterns of and types of violence against women aged 50 and older
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32970746/
“Data on physical and sexual violence against women usually stops at age 49, effectively excluding a quarter of the world’s women”, said Bridget Sleap, Senior Rights Policy Adviser at HelpAge International, speaking at the Commission on the Status of Women this week. “When women reach age 50 any violence and abuse against them usually goes unrecorded”.
https://reliefweb.int/report/world/older-women-subjected-violence-and-abuse-are-being-ignored
https://blogs.worldbank.org/voices/violence-against-older-women-widespread-untallied
So many loser sons killing their mothers and grandmothers.
Before committing suicide or mass murder then suicide, of course.
I have to laugh when men whine about suicide statistics. Because the ways they commit suicide is nothing to feel sympathy for.
I even have personal experience with the disparity in methods between men and women in my immediate family.
Speaking of suicide... https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/
Men are only more successful at committing suicide. Women are 1.5x as likely to attempt it. And men are more likely to succeed only because they choose more violent methods of doing it, like using guns (which they also own more of than women do).
Native American youth are also far more likely to attempt suicide than their white peers.
So really, this paints quite a different picture. Turns out classes of people who are more oppressed are more likely to want to die. Who woulda thunk it.
That is really, really interesting. Thanks so much for this observation!
The bias that results in studies and statisticians only counting violence experienced by women when we are relatively young, and excluding all women over 50 and up, is reflected in the sidebar to this Ovarit circle. Under the heading FACTS it says:
- It is estimated that there are 650 million women and girls in the world today who were married before age 18.
- At least 200 million women and girls aged 15-49 have undergone female genital mutilation.
- Approximately 15 million adolescent girls (aged 15 to 19) worldwide have experienced forced sex (forced sexual intercourse or other sexual acts) at some point in their life.
- Twenty-three per cent of female undergraduate university students reported having experienced sexual assault or sexual misconduct in a survey across 27 universities in the United States in 2015.
- 1 in 10 women in the United States will be raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime.
The unintended impression this kind of framing gives is that once women hit age 50, the ill effects of FGM they suffered as children suddenly disappear - and that forced sex and sexual assault are only big problems for girls and women who are 15-19 or undergrads at universities.
Now you've opened my eyes, I'll never not see that again . . . Thank you!
I wonder sometimes if these men even believe their own bullshit. Women are more violent than men? c'mon.
We are going to see this number skyrocketing as TIMs who say they are lesbians have their crimes reported as women
Igh
I'd also wonder how this study qualifies IPV and to what degree. Women can absolutely be abusive and can be violent, and things like mental illness and/or drug/alcohol abuse can exacerbate the risk, but treating a shove or a slap from another woman as identical to getting beat up by a man is ridiculous. How many women in opposite sex versus same sex relationships are terrified of leaving because they fear their partners will murder them if they do?
This lie is so obviously ridiciulous, considering... the news are full of men murdering women who were in relationships with them.
But never have I ever heard of a woman being murdered by her female ex. Never.
So yeah, the only ones who believe that lesbian relationships are more violent are those who let others dictate what they ought to think, instead of thinking for themselves.
I mean, it's happened (true crime addict here). It's extraordinarily rare to the point of being statistically insignificant, but falls just short of being a 'never.' And it doesn't have to be a 'never.' It's a number that would still likely fall far short of men named "Fred" who murdered a partner/ ex. But a lot of men absolutely refuse to take responsibility for male violence as a class, and like to use this myth to deflect blame (and often to then imply that straight women are secretly the abusive instigators when men brutalize or murder us).
Edited to add: On a less grim but still head-deskingly frustrating note, reminds me of men who insist that women are worse drivers, and when confronted by the reality that insurance companies charge men substantially more money because men cost them substantially more by driving like idiots, they then say 'but but but it was probably women who CAUSED all those men to crash and blamed them for it!'
Women can absolutely be abusive and can be violent, and things like mental illness and/or drug/alcohol abuse can exacerbate the risk, but treating a shove or a slap from another woman as identical to getting beat up by a man is ridiculous.
This reminds me of people who try to obscure the deaths and extreme maimings by pitbulls by framing the issue in terms of "bites" and insisting that "Chihuahuas bite more." We can just count deaths to determine the greater danger.
Agreed 100%. Deaths, serious hospitalizations, life-altering injuries, there's just no comparison with any other non-bloodsport breeds (even with like German Shepherds, which still make the most lethal dogs list in spite of being less than a 10th as likely to kill someone, the dogs involved in lethal incidents tended to be police or military dogs rather than a beloved family pet that decided to eat a toddler one day a la pits).
I'm currently very worried for a very 'be kind' relative who was lied to by a shelter and told a conspicuous pit was a boxer puppy. She has two tiny daughters who got immediately attached before she found out he was a pit, and he hasn't hit that magic 1.5 to 3-year age yet when the switch most often flips but he's already showing disturbing behavior in how he plays with another dog (he doesn't recognize submissive behavior and back off, and he constantly goes for the other dog's throat), the stare, and a lot of 'anxiety.' She and her husband seem to think that they'll have some kind of warning if he starts becoming dangerous, and I haven't been able to get through to them that this breed can't be treated like a lab, he could go from zero to kill seemingly out of the blue, even while still wagging his tail, because that's what he's been intensively bred to do.
I might be ignorant on this matter, but do they count bisexual women as lesbians in this? I can see it making sense to look at woman+woman, man+man, woman+man relationships, which I think is what they arw doing, but it's written in a way that confuses me. What I do get from it is that women, who (also) have relationships with women experience partner violence, but most of it is from men. So maybe violent men in relationship with bisexual women are violent because they are lesbophobes, and/or afraid the woman will leave because they can't be a woman for them (so control and a sense of ownership). Not saying I think these men wouldn't be violent in a different relationship, just that this might be what fuels their violence in this case...
I don't know... The text confuses me. But what I certainly don't see in the text is "women are more violent when in relationship with women, than men are".
"The survey found that same-sex cohabitants reported significantly more intimate partner violence than did opposite-sex cohabitants. Among women, 39.2 percent of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7 percent of the opposite sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime. Among men, the comparable figures are 23.1 percent and 7.4 percent (exhibit 8). At first glance, these findings suggest that both male and female same-sex couples experience more intimate partner violence than do opposite sex couples. However, a comparison of intimate partner victimization rates among same-sex and opposite-sex cohabitants by perpetrator gender produced some interesting findings: 30.4 percent of same-sex cohabiting women reported being victimized by a male partner, whereas 11.4 percent reported being victimized by a female partner. Thus, same-sex cohabiting women were nearly three times more likely to report being victimized by a male partner than by a female partner. Moreover, opposite-sex cohabiting women were nearly twice as likely to report being victimized by a male partner than were same-sex cohabiting women by a female partner(20.3 percent and 11.4 percent) ".
Also this is not just sexual relationships it's any same sex one like parental, pimp, friend etc. lesbian domestic violence is still a problem, relationships are quite socially ostracised/rare so I think elevated dv rates wouldnt be that unexpected
Its wise to remember that bisexuals still face a lot of unique issues, the perpetrators view of them as inherently promiscuous which spurns violence quickly becomes fatal due to jealousy and perceived inadequacy. Bisexuals are the most rejected group for sexual/gender minorities seeking asylum because western societies view it as a choice and that bisexuals can just seek heterosexuality, not be attacked and are effectively straight. The countries from which they're seeking asylum from view bisexuality as being effectively gay and will prosecute them accordingly. Creating a hellish double jeopardy.
Ok, I am not a lesbian, so please excuse me if I am overstepping, and I am most definitely NOT playing Devil's advocate, since I can't stand people who do that. But I wonder if it might occasionally be because, since they are both women, they might be willing to get a little bit physical because it's more even, and they don't have to worry about one of them overpowering the other and beating her to death. Just comparing it to my experiences with my sister.
Depends. One woman could still be appreciably bigger and stronger than another.
Absolutely, but there's also the chance that they mightn't be, whereas it's very rare that a man can't overpower a woman. Like I said, I don't know about this subject at all, but I'd be more likely to get shovey-slappy with a woman than a man.* it might be a fatal judgemental error, but I would be less afraid of a woman being that much stronger than me, and of them completely losing control and murdering me instantly in a blind fury.
*Well, it's actually super unlikely, and would have had to have been 30 years ago, but you can see what I am saying.
It's definitely about the what constitutes IPV. Men in Canada actually claim to be victims more often then women. Men claim psychological abuse, which they probably view most WLW as having. And it doesn't especially matter what the CDC counts, because it's a survey. So, it's highly dependent on what the individual perceives.
Also related is the myth that lesbians are more likely to divorce.
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Yeah, you could easily interpret the stats I quoted about bisexual women as reflecting women fleeing relationships with violent men, then realizing they are bisexual.
then realizing they are bisexual.
Then realizing that they (me) are lesbian.
Yes of course I wasn't implying you are bisexual! I was thinking about the stats. No offense intended.
If you dig up all the studies that ask about lesbian rate of IPV, look at the specific questions asked. You will find that lesbians' experiences of IPV overwhelmingly did not occur in lesbian relationships. Lesbians experienced violence from men - in relationships with men before they cane out, or from male family members.
As expected! Got any links?