I feel like admitting this is is blasphemy nowadays given how popular strength-training has become. Every other post on IG regarding fitness is all "no cardio all strength bruh!!" 🙄

To be clear, I realize that strength-training has become more accessible and acceptable for women, which I think is so great. I wish I could love strength training, and do some of the amazing things I see women do with weights these days. My hats off to you if you love strength and weight lifting.

I just... hate it so much personally lol I hate being in the gym (as a fat girl especially). I hate how long it seems to take for me to do reps/sets. Between resting and moving from machine to machine, it feels like it takes me an hour and I feel like I've accomplished nothing by the end of it.

I hate seeing guys with huge muscles, knowing that even if I spent hours in the gym every week, I'll never look anything like them. So it feels like nature is against me as a woman, and (ngl) shamefully gives me a defeatist attitude like "whats the point of this??"

I feel like men own the weight lifting/strength world, and they know they'll always have the upper hand in that fitness community, so of course they're going to proclaim its the best for you and its the best exercise ever! And it makes me feel... like an imposter, or like I'm trying to be like them? Maybe I'm overthinking, I just don't feel welcome.

Whenever I've forced myself to do strength at least 4x a week in an actual routine (for a few months), the body changes are so minimal, and I dont really feel any different. A little more balanced and stabilized, but not like... strong. Idk, maybe I'm doing something wrong? Or maybe its cuz of the fat on my body that I cant see much. My arms and shoulders and my thighs show changes, but only a little bit, nothing that makes me feel vastly different.

I get so confused looking at strength workouts too; I feel like there are so many ways to approach it and they have different outcomes. I feel like I'm in a jungle, and I'm just like I want out of this maze lol

It also hurts in a way that doesn't feel good to me and actively makes me feel weaker because I realize I cant do things. Like I try a body weight exercise and lose my balance and fall on my knees and I realize "I'm not even strong enough to get strong!!" and it feels so demoralizing.

For all these reasons, I always end up quitting whatever my strength routine was after a few months.

How did you get into strength training, and how long did it take you to get past these things to love it? Does anyone else feel like me or am I the weird one?

For context:

I've ran 2 marathons and 4 half marathons. I just adore running, and my adoration went so far as injury. I'm just coming back to running after roughly a year off thanks to ITBS and piriformis syndrome. I have no insurance, so couldn't afford PT, so all of the recovery has just been me myself and I, which has been difficult.

I manage to do some body weight and resistance band exercises a few times a week and I'm just scraping by with a 5k w/o pain. I only do the exercises so I can run. I have no idea if I'll ever make it back to half-marathon distance, which breaks my heart.

I really like mountain biking too, and swimming. Cardio is my jam and feels so good, and cardio gains feel "equal" to me.