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DiscussionAny cool ideas for Feminist games?
I'm thinking of making a RPG or maybe a Point and Click Adventure or maybe even a Life Sim that let's the player choose between a male and a female character...
The game will feature different historical societies from human history maybe even going way back to Ancient Mesopotamia all the way up to the modern day world and will feature different societies from the same time period too so the player can compare them!
Depending on who the player chooses their lives will be different... With the female characters having significant more difficulties than the male most of the time like not being able to own property depending on the time period the player chooses to play in...
My purpose with this game is both to make people reflect on the difficulties that women have faced though history and also due to my love of studying history and wanting to share historical curiosities with people...
I'm thinking of a name for it... I appreciate any recs! If anyone here more capable than me liked my idea and wants to try making a game with this premise feel free to too! :)
If you have any cool ideas for Feminist games yourself please feel free to share if you so wish! :)
Huh. Seems kinda self-explanatory. I've always run in the other direction when I see a man get angry.
Heck, I have a tendency to say borderline mean shit to men I have a crush on, almost as if I'm trying to test them for angry reactions. (Which is interesting because I am rather conflict-avoidant otherwise.)
I'm skinny and fragile, so I guess it's an evolved instinct to stay the heck away from angry men.
(I've met a few men who said they had anger issues who seemed nice, but the ones whose anger issues I observed always got angry/lost their temper about the most ridiculous shit. So yeah. I might date a dude who says he gets angry about shitty politics, cause, well, I get angry about that, too! But the men who manage to get angry in my presence always do over insignificant shit, often by interpreting aggression into other people's behaviour when it just isn't there. That's a red flag for sure.)
Hey I just realized I do/have done the same thing, saying borderline-mean things to men I’ve been interested in - it is kind of just my sense of humor to be sarcastic, but I go a little farther with men, and never realized that I did that or why until just now, how interesting!
We need to better define what women need protection from these days.
When I am 2 weeks postpartum, I need "protection" from my older two toddlers. I need someone to get their attention away from me so I don't get crawled over and a knee to my incision site. That's protecting me.
I need protection from postpartum depression by having money set aside for therapy and a list of possible doctors and to be lightly screened as I go about my day.
We need to do the same for "providing." Merely making enough to have the monthly budget balance isn't providing.
I need to be provided for financially in the form of 401ks and life insurance policies in case he dies and I'm a widowed mother of three.
I need to be provided for by having insurance policies from companies that actually will pay out if needed. Researching that providing that is providing.
I need to be provided for even in the case of high inflation, by someone who is actively strategizing his career and how to increase salary while mine stalls due to making babies.
And I need to be provided for even when his body can no longer do the manual labor that used to be a part of what he was using to provide with. He needs to be planning for what his career is going to look like when he's old and worn but not able to retire.
I'm not against the idea that men should protect and provide. I'm against this assumption that men do this, when the vast majority of men do not protect from anything except non-existent threats and do not provide except for the immediate month ahead.
Yeah, men should protect and provide. They need to do it properly.
I'd be very attracted, for example, to a man who protects me by working politically against transnonsense and against men in women's spaces.
Men in general are more prone to intentionally creating dangerous situations and then congratulating themselves for protecting women from those situations ... regardless of whether or not they did any protecting.
Same with providing. Men ought to actually do it. Not create an artificial need by supporting financial discrimination against women and then swoop in as saviours.
I love Uyen and her boyfriend! I'm not on Facebook and I don't keep up with her channel ultra-closely, but she consistently shocks me with based feminist takes like this one. The first thing that attracted me to her channel is that she doesn't run it like a "couple's channel," her boyfriend is just her boyfriend who happens to feature in her skits. They're like my comfort straight couple.
I loved her short about Vietnamese skills here, I replayed it so many times giggling! The swan is so irresistibly stupid 😆
Edit: the caption beneath the video I linked is another example of her incisive commentary.
Since I was a child, people have been telling me that I needed to become a good wife in the kitchen one day. That's why I needed to learn these skills. It's not for fun or for my own benefit; it's for showing my future husband that I would be a good cook and could take care of the kitchen. Because if I can't cut fruit properly, I wouldn't be a capable woman deserving of a good husband.
Now that I've grown up, I don't like the implications behind this. That's why I never prepared fruits in this beautiful way for German boyfriend. 😂
Very, very true. A man who is aggressive to other people will eventually be aggressive towards you as well. And since real life isn't fanfiction, you can't fix him either.
I have been wondering about this. I have been considering dating someone, but I have seen him really lose his temper and yell with anger at a situation twice now. It was not directly really at a person but at a let’s say organisation for lack of a better word. I felt myself grey rocking/speaking in a very measured tone till he calmed down and I haven’t forgotten about it.
Would you say this is a red flag?
If it's yelling and ranting without making specific threats, hitting or throwing anything, and it's not about stupid stuff where the amount of anger is disproportionate to the situation, then it might not be a red flag. But it's hard for me to justify staying around someone who sometimes blows up enough that you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.
If it happens again, tell him you're going to step outside, take a walk, go somewhere else for a while until he's calmed down because you understand that he's angry, but you're uncomfortable with the level of anger. How he reacts to that will tell you a lot.
You are the queen of good comments today!
Thank you! That's such an unexpected (in a good way) response, I had to check the calendar to see if today was April Fool's Day!
It can be. My father, who had always been very short tempered and regularly raged at other people, eventually did become physical with my mum after roughly ten years of marriage.
But what I think matters in your case aren't the what ifs, it's that you apparently felt unsafe already. You felt the need to grey rock and choose your words carefully lest he lash out even more. It's entirely possible that this was an isolated incident, though it did happen twice, but it's definitely something I'd keep in mind when thinking about entering into a relationship. Our behaviour tends to get worse once we're in a steady relationship, not better, because we're no longer trying to win the other over by constantly being on our best behaviour.
Thank you — I had a sometimes very short-tempered father who never laid a hand on my mom etc, so it is sometimes hard for me to gauge whether I am over or under reacting. I have tolerated extremely bad physical behavior in longterm exes (a male who angrily strangled me for a few seconds; a female who once threw a glass past my head to purposefully miss me but still frighten me) so I second doubt both my overreacting and underreacting.
Yes this is a red flag for you - specifically for you because you altered your behavior in order to 'manage' the situation.
No matter what he did or didn't do, you had a reaction that reveals something very important about this situation in regards to the effect on you.
The question to ask yourself is 'Did I like the way I felt or acted around this person?' - because if it happened once, it is going to happen again and again.
If you were bothered about his behavior enough to alter your behavior - and you 'haven't forgotten about it' then I would say - do yourself a favor and give this 'dating consideration' a solid no.
Depends on what he was angry about. I've seen my Nigel lose his shit too but it was never against me or an innocent bystander, he never broke anything in anger, doesnt throw things or punches holes in walls. I've never been afraid and when he yells, i'm am usually far over that point and fantasize about me getting my pretty kitchen knifes.
I feel like this video oversimplifies things and insinuates that women are at fault for picking the wrong guy when men are known to suddenly change at the drop of a hat and turn into complete monsters. even the gentlest manlet can turn into a violent aggressor. yes you can weed out the ones that are overtly aggressive but so many men will parade around as gentle uwu soft bois only to turn out to be downright evil.
also not that much into her and her husband considering he's a white guy who went to Vietnam and came back with a Vietnamese wife. I think he's also way older than her, so added power dynamics... I haven't watched any of her videos in months but there are too many men from my country (Germany) who go to Asian countries for sex tourism and getting a docile Asian wife stereotype because she'll be dependent on the guy for visa and money reasons.
Wow. Why do people on here keep pretending to know what happens in other people's marriages?
I've seen several videos by Uyen and honestly- it seems like her husband is a nice gentle guy who adores her. And she seems to adore him too. The fact that they are mixed race doesn't automatically signal to me that there's some racial fetish or whatever. People of different races do fall in love and get along. If one went by what you're saying- the only acceptable relationship for a german white man would be a german white woman and honestly- thats a bit racist.
If I tell women younger than me who ask for advice - "hey you should choose someone calm and collected rather than someone who is volatile even if the latter relationship is more passionate"- that is not the same thing as saying women who are in abusive relationships are at fault.
maybe you should work on your reading comprehension and reread the bolded parts slowly and carefully:
I feel like this video oversimplifies things and insinuates that women are at fault for picking the wrong guy when men are known to suddenly change at the drop of a hat and turn into complete monsters. even the gentlest manlet can turn into a violent aggressor. yes you can weed out the ones that are overtly aggressive but so many men will parade around as gentle uwu soft bois only to turn out to be downright evil.
yes, choose a gentle and calm guy. but just because your guy may seem gentle and calm doesn't mean he isn't lying to you about being gentle and calm. be critical of being vulnerable with men. not my nigel-ing and not all men-ing doesn't help women realize that men are dangerous by default because of their privilege under patriarchy. it is much safer not to choose any man at all and to spread the word because so many women don't even consider it in option to just stay single. instead, they settle for the first guy who passed the absolute bare minimum because they think they HAVE to pick a guy. they don't have to pick anything at all.
also, please don't act like sex tourism and going to foreign countries to pick a wife because you can't find one in your own country because they are too emancipated for you isn't a thing that men do. women need to be critical of such structures. of course it raises an eyebrow when I know at least three couples IRL where the guy went to a country known for "docile" wives and makes it very obvious that he "picked" her like some apple at the farmer's market. sharing such thoughts and noticing such patterns is part of feminist consciousness raising. but i guess being critical isn't allowed anymore just because the couple in question is some teehee funny social media couple that has passed the vibe check? 🤔
Consider that you are reading your own biases into a fairly harmless video and into the lives of perfect strangers. Uyen is specifically trying encourage young women to not seek out toxic masculinity, aggression or machismo from their partners. Thats a long way from saying- "someone who presents calmly cannot be toxic behind closed doors "or saying"its your fault if your husband beats you".
I didn't see anyone blaming women for being abused or saying that men cannot change or deceive. You're reading that in for your own reasons.
I'm sure sex tourism is a thing. I'm also sure that men and women both want to be married to people who are easier to get along with than not. And I'm unsure that assuming that a mixed-race couple where a white guy is with an asian woman is always about choosing someone docile is not racist as hell. Asian women aren't this image that Westerners have- many are quite argumentative and rebellious. I'm asian- we're not all docile. Uyen specifically states in this video that she fights with her husband a lot. You had Zero reason to believe this was a case of sex tourism or a case of abuse or anything like that. You felt the need to say it because you don't think interracial relationships can be equal. That's your problem. And thats not feminist consciousness raising.
I think there’s a cultural piece too. She’s commenting on some commonly praised traits in Vietnamese men (though other cultures, almost all, venerate these qualities too).
Also, I don’t think they’re married yet. They recently became engaged.
She came to germany after 3 years of LDR and after getting a place to study at a university. She was adult with a teacher job in vietnam and he was a backpack tourist.
interesting, I didn't know that. I stand corrected then. I only know her story being like "my mother sold her bike so I could go to Germany to be with him" not the student visa part.
That does cast the whole thing in a different light.
I admit that I am also wary of men with Asian or Eastern European wives by default. Cause yeah, it is a thing, and one man I met who proudly boasted of his Eastern European wife also admitted to going to brothels, so ...
Do I know nice men with Asian girlfriends? Sure. But it is different when they're roughly the same age and I know he met her in Germany while she was here for studying.
Obviously, none of us can truly know their dynamic because we don't know them personally. But, if German Boyfriend went to Vietnam looking for some docile, quiet Asian wife, he would not have stuck with Uyen for this long. At this point, she's likely more financially successful than he is (so she isn't financially dependent on him and could easily leave him and take care of herself if she had to). And she may not even need him to stay in Germany since she's so popular there that she's making appearances on German TV
She confirmed that she makes more money than him in a video in which she discussed the stereotypes surrounding relationships between white men and Asian women.
Agree with everything she says. And also! Normalise calling men “emotional”. They’ve been doing it to us for years to dismiss us, let’s do it to them. How they’ve managed to get away with anger not being an emotion is beyond me.
Also put lust into that "non-emotion" emotion category that men can't control