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TnetennbaApril 19, 2021
Eh, the more misogynistic men wash out of here pretty quickly. They literally cannot stay silent on their pet issues and end up sabotaging themselves and getting banned.
yikesforeverApril 19, 2021
I think they said it's not female only because that's impossible on the internet, and that they'd rather the men be open about being men than have them pretend to be women.
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
Obviously it’s impossible to truly know, but if men are really here and want to join the conversation in good faith then they should mark themselves.
Agreed, I think it's a great idea to flair them.
TnetennbaApril 19, 2021
Yeah the only reason Ovarit isn't female only is because it's logistically impossible to implement, especially with the type of growth the site wants to see. It would absolutely cripple our growth to have to verify IDs and actual documents, not to mention a security issue.
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
Right, this would obviously rely on an honor system, but if men are here to truly be allies then they should understand and comply.
[Deleted]April 19, 2021
It doesn't bother me now if there are men here, but when I was younger I really needed female-only space. I totally get why others feel that way here, and think a flair would work very well as a compromise.
[Deleted]April 19, 2021
I just wish users wouldn’t invite men!
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
I personally never would but it only takes one karma-farming male to get a bunch of invites and give them all to males.
[Deleted]April 19, 2021
I think that's a great ideia, but we would have to trust these men to really use a flair... Some of them will do, but i think MOST of them won't.
Maybe admins could also put flairs on male users, if we thought someone was male we could "report" them as male so admins could go through their posts and find out if they need a flair or not 🤔
MedusaApril 19, 2021
I think going on manhunts will be detrimental to the morale and culture of this space. Plenty of us are GNC women, and that includes our language and how comfortable we feel voicing opinions that go against the grain. If someone put a "male" flair on me I would laugh my ass off, but I could see that being devastating for someone who isn't "out" as detransitioned, or a woman who has finally found this place and has been denigrated for being too "masculine" her entire life.
[Deleted]April 20, 2021
I see, i haven't thought about that. But this has nothing to do with how you look, act or your opinions, i am a "masculine" woman myself.
Men and women are so different even on the "anonymity" of the internet, seriously, it's really easy to clock a man here (especially the TRAs, incels, misogynists) it's the way they write, idk lol, they can't shut up. And i see why some women will want men to "announce" themselves.
One time a user tried to use the "but men have it bad too" argument with me, it was really ridiculous, i immediately saw that was a man (btw i didn't even report him, he deleted his account after i answered him).
But anyway, i'm not sure if my suggestion would work, maybe people would think someone is male when they're clearly female like you said, i guess we would have to rely on men's kindness to out themselves LOL
Which will never happen, so we're back to just reporting misogynists, and getting them banned from Ovarit. They always let something slip tho, their pornsick brains CAN'T stop them from trying to engage in something sexual (like a woman said here a few comments above)
MedusaApril 19, 2021
Flairing men on this site is going to run into the same problems trying to keep men off the site does, and that's that we're dealing with an honor system and there's no real way to prove who is male and who is female.
With that said, even if there was a 100% foolproof way to accurately flair the men, I wouldn't want it because I don't think they'd get blocked/ignored, I think they'd get flooded with attention. I think this feature would unintentionally boost male voices and make them more centered in the conversation than they would be if they're just an anonymous screen name. I think that over time, this negative attention on a woman-centered site would attract men that are sexually aroused by being degraded. I realize that on a woman-centered site, the sex pests are inevitable, but I don't want to make it easier for them to get off.
Obviously if a poster starts asking weird sexual questions or behaves inappropriately, report them. The mods can sort that shit out, and I imagine they're aware of which posters have admitted that they're male.
You bring up some good points but I still think flairs would be good. Trolls are gonna troll no matter what - that’s gonna happen regardless of anything we do. If men want to be allies then they can respect that some of us do not want to engage with them and mark themselves to respect our boundaries. If other women on the site are fawning over them that’s whole other issue that I would just hope won’t happen in a female centric space. I mean we all understand why we’re here right?
MedusaApril 19, 2021
I don't necessarily think they'll get fawned over, I think the bigger issue will be that they get dog piled, and the dog piling will derail whatever conversation is taking place in the main thread and take center stage. I hope I'm wrong, but that's been the pattern I've observed.
I do think having circles that are female-exclusive is important... I don't know how many are female-only right now, but I know we have circles that are exclusive to lesbians and detrans women, for example. I would love more female-only general circles about female issues. Of course, those are still going to rely on the honor system, but shitty men are pretty good at unintentionally outing themselves. Known men can be preemptively banned from those spaces, as well. Those circles will still be publicly viewable, they just (as far as the site is able) won't have men participating.
maiden_sunshineApril 19, 2021
I agree with everything you're saying, and I hate it. You're completely right with this. I could see it totally being a way to amplify their presence and give them what they want. Which is attention.
maiden_sunshineApril 19, 2021
The most irratating part is not that they are allowed here, but that they don't ever shut up. Even if they don't make it about themselves or men, the fact that men are compelled to come to a women centered place and constantly give their opinion, show they are still exactly some of the audience we talk about.
Men have an obsession with being in women spaces. Even "allies." Sometimes especially so-called allies because they feel entitled to the space as if they earned the right by being nice to women and not complaining about our space.
Highly annoying. There's no space just for us. This site does a good job, but sadly, men will always be men.
FreyjaApril 19, 2021
You're right, it's annoying as all get out.
Sometimes especially so-called allies because they feel entitled to the space as if they earned the right by being nice to women and not complaining about our space.
"Seeee! I'm one of the good men, so I can't possibly have done anything you criticize men as a class of doing. I'm exempt 😎"
chasingendlesssummerApril 19, 2021
I don't mind having men here as long as they come in good faith. However, I don't really understand why a man would want to be here. I mean, I do, but I can't wrap my head around it.
I think they should have flairs, tho.
I can only speak for myself but I kept getting censored and temporarily banned from Fark (yes, it still exists) for "hate speech" when I pointed out just how unfair it is for women to have to compete against biological males in sporting events. For context- as a scrawny 17-year-old XC runner I unknowingly managed to beat the girls' national 5K record in a state championship qualifying meet in which I placed 25th. I was roughly the 2000th-best male XC runner that year. If even 1% of male XC runners are sociopathic enough to transition to dominate girls' races that would statistically guarantee that fraudulent boys would snag every state title nearly every year.
I had been reading r/GenderCritical and the related subs and found you guys to be intelligent, insightful, and downright hilarious. The GC banwave coincided with one of my Fark bans so I joined the GC SaidIt to discuss the absurdity of everything. When Ovarit launched I requested an invite code from the admin and she more or less told me that I could not center my maleness and I was essentially a guest instead of a resident. I try to abide by this and when I fuck up I self-delete.
Edit: I've flaired myself as "scrote" on Radfemmery. Hopefully that gets the point across.
momofreyrellaApril 19, 2021
I feel like I came here because it was explicitly only for women, otherwise why not just use preddit?
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
Lack of censorship on pro-female issues is definitely the main reason I’m here and a good enough reason to stay, I would just like to be able to identify men without having to go through post histories.
[Deleted]April 19, 2021
Because women's voices are prioritized here in all spaces.
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
But if we don’t know which users are male, then we don’t actually have any way of ensuring that.
[Deleted]April 19, 2021
True. We can only know who's declared himself to be male.
ellienoireApril 19, 2021
I think that any man who is actually genuinely sympathetic to the cause would have no problem opting into the flair. Otherwise they are probably just here to troll and will get banned anyway.
FreyjaApril 19, 2021
I feel like I came here because it was explicitly only for women
What gave you the impression it was for women-only?
Reasons for not using Preddit:
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infested with pedos
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infested with pornsick scrotes that get no pushback from moderators
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infested with moderators that don't give a shit about women
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can't even say "men who think they're trans are men" without risking a ban & other truths.
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I'd rather support a website made by women primarily for women, than the website where one of the biggest subreddits used to be r/jailbait until it attracted too much negative media attention & still hosts plenty of vile hate subs against women and girls. Reddit relies on ad money & 'awards' being bought.
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while men are permitted, it's still overwhelmingly women here
momofreyrellaApril 20, 2021
I have very Vivid realistic dreams and it is very possible that I imagined the whole thing
AdultHumanFemaleApril 19, 2021
Wait, there’s men here?
I don’t want that.
TnetennbaApril 19, 2021
Yes, there are several men here. There have been multiple statements made by the mods/admins that it's logistically impossible to keep the men out and that they are tolerated begrudgingly.
I wasn't sure this was a good idea until a male user started trying to start discussions where he was prompting women to share sexual stuff, knowing he'd be assumed to be female. I know this can still happen where male users just lie about being female, but I just hated how he even had the option to try and manipulate and gaslight women who confronted him— he pretended to be all innocent and acted like he had no idea his post would be taken that way, because he was totally honest about being male (deep in his post history). He knew exactly what he was doing.
Yeah, that’s why I will probably never be able to share my trauma here. Men be lurking.
Fucking CREEPS.
Also, do you remember what the username of that scrote was? So all of us can avoid him?
That's why we need private circles, as someone suggested here recently. Trauma and support circles absolutely need to be private. If we decide we want a circle to talk about sex stuff then it should also be private.
This was months ago, and I can't remember the username, but I'm pretty sure he was banned.
There was a creepy-as-fuck TIM here a few months back, too.
Is that post still up? Can you link me to it?
I don't think so— this was months ago and I didn't save the link. But I'm pretty sure he was banned.