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MisogynyInnapropate coworkers
Why do some Male coworkers have to moan and just say sexual innapropate stuff. Why can't they keep it at home?
It's wierd how some people can't keep that behavior at home.
I want to know why are some men obsessed with moaning? My last job had people who did that too.They say this is how women sound.They make a face and do noises
. I ended up leaving that job because a manager was harassing me.
It just seems like these people are obsessed with women with mocking women a lot.
If like they take what they in videos and think it's reality.
Sometimes I think it's jealousy. Maybe they're jealous because of how you present yourself and want to bully you.
Maybe it's projection?
I try not to allow coworkers behaviors to influence me to quit and apply to other jobs. Some days it's sad.
I feel like no matter what job you go to, there are always gonna be people who act innapropate. People are gonna let the behavior slide....
My dad has advised me to just get thicker skin and ignore it.
I much prefer the look of people's untouched faces. I feel like I can connect with them better. When someone wears makeup, and I understand all the reasons why people do, I feel it is a barrier to knowing them. A bare face can be vulnerable, but I view it as a strength.
I started wearing makeup in middle school (mostly lipgloss), but went full emo in high school after the acne cleared. I never got into foundation because there was nothing on the market to match my skintone (vampire white lol) but the concealer / touch-up stuff always made my skin worse, and to be honest there were only a tiny amount of girls doing so (probably 1%). These were the days before everyone wanted to look like a clown. I hated the routine around it: wake up at 5 am, spend an hour and a half in a completely self-conscious, insecure pursuit of vanity, and hopefully have enough energy before bed to properly remove it all or suffer the consequences.
Once I stopped applying everything (in the past 5 years, partly due to the strength of r/gendercritical voices and feminist literature), I could see how much my lifestyle was affecting my face, so I accordingly focused on hydration, better sleep, exfoliation, moisturizing. Now I feel connected to my body in a way I couldn't before. I'm grateful my body has carried me here, and I don't want to hide my face anymore. The cost savings are outrageous.
I stopped wearing it a few years ago during covid, and just kept the habit. Albeit, I do have very clear skin that doesn’t break out much, so I never was covering acne or scars, but I still have a generally “conventionally unattractive” face that people have tried to convince me to contour to look “better”.
But I agree, makeup was always boring to me. Very easy to mess up, kept me from touching my face. I also tend to shed tears when I yawn, and I have an issue that leads me to yawn consistently during mid day, so wearing makeup would just be a mess anyway.
I think anyone questioning how to quit the makeup habit needs to first conquer where their self esteem comes from. Using makeup is basically a bandaid on the fact that most women subconsciously still think their value is solely or mostly in how they look, and as an extension, how they appear to men matters in all factors or life. It’s much easier to quit makeup when you stop trying to appear attractive (to men) in general. You have to find your own sense of worth separate from what the patriarchy has taught you as a base, and then kicking the makeup habit will be a lot more permanent.
When I was in middle school or so, I noticed that makeup was getting to be popular. When I asked my mom about it (and dad) they said- "It's for people to feel prettier. If you feel uncomfortable, than don't wear it; you'll look the same or better without it." They didn't put down people that wore it, but let me know it was a mindset, emphasizing that the people felt prettier with it, that doesn't mean they were or weren't. I put it on, felt my pores clogged and uncomfortable, and took it off.
Then when I was job hunting, I was rejected for not wearing makeup according to some friends within the company, then when I got another interview, I tried to put it on.
With the foundation... I was shocked. I felt like, and looked like, a mannequin. Face free of anything- so unnaturally smooth and all my spots, natural blushes and shadows and blemishes gone. I looked unfinished. And for what? So I can paint on the reddish tint I naturally get from the sun on my cheeks? What about my freckles and spots? What about the weird vein the pops up underneath my eyes that added a touch of green/blue? With that layer of foundation I stripped away everything that made my face mine.
I took it off and decided if I got rejected for not wearing makeup than that's not the team for me.
To me, foundation is the most insidious of makeup products. I understand having severe acne and wanting to cover it up, I've been there. But it's become expected for women and girls to wear it even when they have no "reason" to.
It's quite literally paint that you slather onto your face to erase all of your skin's features, so that you can put them back on. Blush, bronzer, highlighter and contour to give back the dimension and color. Blank canvas. There is no creativity or expressing yourself here like eyeshadow or eyeliner can do.
And it's not easy at all to apply either...Concealer at least is simple. Oh, i've got a spot here i'll just dab some concealer on it and done.
Foundation? Better splurge on a good brand first or it'll look trash. You have to put primer on so it won't settle into all your lines and pores, use the right brush/beauty blender (don't forget to wet it but not too much) blend it down your neck, apply another layer for more coverage, dust your face with powder (but not too much or it'll settle in your lines, and if you're older don't even bother trying), and finally spray your face with setting spray and pray that it doesn't budge.
But it will of course. It'll oxidize on your face, it'll settle into wrinkles, it'll get blotchy, oily. Got to touch it up during the day. Got to buy blotting sheets. Some women even SHAVE the peach fuzz off their faces for a smoother surface to paint over.
Don't touch your face. Don't let your face touch anything else, or you'll leave a nice smear and mess up your makeup. Careful hugging someone or you'll stain their clothes. Have to blow your nose? Better reapply. Don't get too sweaty or it'll ruin it. Don't get your face wet, don't cry, don't itch it, don't rest your chin on your palm....STAY STILL. YOU ARE A DECORATION.
Every. Day. And don't forget to wash it off at night, because it clogs your pores so you have to wear even more.
Sorry for ranting but I hate foundation with a burning rage.
That's one part I never understood. I wanted to, but I just couldn't get it, I looked ridiculous with it. I just had a lot of acne and wanted to make it disappear.
Ultimately I'm glad I never got into the habit but I was so jealous of girls who could make their acne "go away"
"Unfinished" is the same feeling I had with foundation, and it was an absurd feeling to paint on blush over the same places where I had it naturally, as you mentioned. Even weirder is contouring (which I only tried once), and those women 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 must feel unfinished if they need to paint the angles back onto their faces! I wonder if many of them know that the techniques they're using were created by female impersonators; drag queens.
Women pretending to be drag queens pretending to be women...how avant-garde!
Yes, we were only wearing makeup to please people who are so superficial that they wouldn't respect us unless we wore a mask. It seems to me that those are the exact people who's opinions we shouldn't care a fig about.
Congratulations. I am glad that article helped you make your decision to be makeup free. I too recently stopped wearing makeup after a lifetime of doing so.
I can thank Ovarit for giving me the strength to stop.
Previously, I really believed that because I am naturally unattractive in a 'jowly peasant woman' sort of way that I would be treated better if I wore makeup than if I didn't. After all, we base so much on looks... and since I was already so low on the 'good looks' totem pole...
So I wore full foundation because my skin shows acne scars - but I tried very hard to make it look like I wasn't wearing foundation. And I wore eyeshadow and eyeliner because my eyes didn't look very prominant (like models in pictures) but I tried to keep it looking 'natural'. And I wore blush because with the foundation my face lost its contours - but I kept it minimal and 'natural' looking.
I spent a lot of time and money working to make sure my face full of makeup did not look like a face full of makeup. So I could look 'natural' and 'authentic' and less like me... and more like the 'ideal'.
Makeup wearing was my way of life, but it was becoming clear from articles, like the above article you cited (a good one), and the frequent topic on Ovarit, that there was evidence that many women were living quite happily in their bare skins.
The overwhelming truth dawned on me that chasing the 'approved' look for the feminine ideal was one of the most stupid and contradictary actions in my entire GNC lifestyle.
I was brainwashed and the patient and gentle, and sometimes not so gentle, words of Ovarit revealed my condition to me. And I eventually got over it.
I must confess going out without makeup was harrowing at first, but I can tell you that there is no greater prison than the mind. The reality is that people treat me almost exactly the same as before except perhaps I am getting some extra smiles and friendliness because I am not wearing makeup.
It is a relief that the makeup part of my life is finally over.
Welcome sister! Every women that doesn't helps the rest get out!
I never understood why wearing a mask was considered beautiful for women, especially as it has to be washed off at the end of the day.
People accept me for who I am, and if they don’t like how my bare face looks, their problem. I’ve been that way since childhood. I hate make-up. It’s impractical, uncomfortable, and you only have to take it all off again a few hours later. There just seems to be no point, to me.
And that’s before the power analysis comes into play. Yes, very curious how men are still held to standards far different to women. Amazing how women can now be any size, colour or physical scarring etc, as long as we still look ‘sexy’. Sod that lark.
The only reason it’s considered beautiful is because it’s performing femininity and signaling to men that their approval and desire is of upmost importance to women. Which is exactly the world the patriarchy and men prefer. I see it as similar to extreme plastic surgery—many, many men will laugh about how absurd big huge BBLs or massive fake tits look—they don’t find it beautiful. But most of them will still pursue those women if the opportunity arises, because they are attracted to the signal those women are sending—that they will make physical and financial sacrifices to appeal to men. They don’t actually find the huge fake ass sexually attractive in itself, but what it symbolizes is very attractive to men.
Think about it. We all know how desperate men are to get women, sleep with women, be wanted by women. But women don’t act obsessed or controlled by their desire for sex the way that men do. Wearing makeup daily is about as close equivalency there is in women, to indicate the interest of the other sex matters to them. Men enjoy seeing proof that women want to be desired or found attractive. They see makeup as being for them, which it is, no matter how much some women want to deny that. The cosmetics industry was not intended to empower women and it does not empower women. It gives power to men and imposes stricter expectations on women. Period.
I could’ve written this post myself. Thanks for sharing. This part especially resonates:
In fact, as I was going through my box of "clown paint" just now and planning to throw it all out, I was kicking myself for the hundreds of dollars I wasted on all this crap. I could have bought books with that money.
I have so many books now, lol. And it’s not just the money but the time and energy that I put into it. I don’t have to wake up early to primp anymore. I can sleep in or do yoga before work instead. I still care about my appearance but the less the time I spend thinking about it, the more time I can spend focusing on things that are more fulfilling.
My mom was in a punk band when i was younger and literally called her makeup, which was overtly large, browless, colorful and not meant for the male gaze, 'war paint'. I fell into the same thing and now I only do it for fun or concerts. I've noticed with the increase of boys wanting a 'big toddy goth gf' (puke) I hate going out with any makeup at all. My bare, clean shaven brows and sunscreen is my maximum most days. Sometimes I will draw on extra angry Spock brows to make myself feel cool but that's for around the house lol at this point my eyebrows look weird to me and I'm afraid to grow them back after 6 or 7 years of shaving them off. What if they grow backwards?!? Just kidding but still. I noticed once I stopped thinking about myself as an art piece and truly focusing on my actual drawn art, plus being somewhere without pressures from other such as school settings or a concert/subculture I became a lot more relaxed.
I have never met someone who shaved their brows! That's so interesting.
Thanks! Most people only notice once I tell them so it's just become normal lol
It can be tough to let go of makeup, or it certainly was in my case, since it was my own mom who was insistent about my wearing it. But my mom was always pushing performative femininity on me and pressured me into wearing makeup when I roughly 13. Once she caught me going to school without it, and gave me a long lecture on how I had a "social obligation to look my best" for other people.
Of course, I know now why my mom found makeup so important. For her, it was a small act of rebellion against her tyrannical father, who was adamant that NONE of his daughters wear it. So I guess Mom felt that my disinterest in the stuff was an act of rebellion against HER. It was (and sometimes still is) a thing.
As the years went on and as I oftentimes was working at home as a freelancer, I just wouldn't wear makeup. What was the point? But then, I found myself going out without it (gasp!). And I discovered what I always deep down knew--my mom was wrong about it. Other people didn't care. They treated me the same regardless of whether I wore makeup or not. My husband didn't love me any less, my friends didn't like me any less. The only exception I noticed was the few times I worked at an office. Only co-workers and my bosses would (unfavorably) notice if I didn't wear it.
I still occasionally wear makeup: whenever I'm in the mood, and when I visit my mom because it's just not worth the arguments. Bu I very rarely go all out with it--generally just mascara, eyeliner and lipstick. The only foundation I wear is tinted sunscreen because of a past skin cancer diagnosis.
I do think my skin has benefited from not wearing makeup, though. My skin generally looks better. And as I wear it so little now, I think my face looks kinda weird when I do put it on. And Goddess knows, I save a LOT of money. I'd rather spent that on books, sushi, and other things I can enjoy.
The sunscreen thing is another reason why makeup is so toxic for women. You cannot realistically reapply sunscreen every 3 hours like you're supposed to when you have a full face of makeup. It would be absurd to take all of your makeup off every 3 hours and reapply and the kind that goes over makeup doesn't protect you as much as the regular stuff
So grateful my mom never really wore makeup (she definitely wore some but very minimal). I am not blaming mothers of course but I feel like if you're brought up to think "this is how women act" from the most important woman in your life, it has to have an influence.
Awesome!! I also don’t wear makeup except occasional lipstick because I like the colors and I think it’s nice 😅 not sure if this disqualifies me but I’m 100% on board with the observation that it’s pure inequality. Women shouldn’t have to spend time and money on this stuff, and a lot of it is carcinogenic!
I'm so glad obligatory full-face makeup is finally going out of style. I haven't worn it since I first tried it in junior high. It warms my heart to hear about young women seeing the light. (I'm assuming you're younger than me.) I do think going without makeup makes people look younger and I think the application of makeup causes wrinkles (not that it should matter, but it's just funny to me that it's actually working against what it is supposed to do). Congrats on breaking free.
My mom wore a medium amount of makeup but I always loved playing with it and now I feel stuck because I have been wearing it all my life. I have slowly started to minimize, I just wear a tinted sunscreen eyeliner and sometimes mascara, but it's so hard when people are used to you looking a certain way. I do not let my toddler daughter see me apply makeup and I won't let anyone buy her play makeup either. But I must have slipped some point, maybe on some vacation because she found my eyelash curler and started trying to put it on her eyes. I felt so bad. It feels inescapable at this point. I hope there is a course correction to more natural looks, the spider eyes I see now are borderline frightening.
Unfortunately even if she doesn't see you apply it, she can see it on your face. Kids are smart, they know. But I still think it's admirable that you don't apply it in front of her and you don't let her use play makeup. I hate that stuff. My niece has been using makeup since she was a toddler, same with getting nails+hair done at the salon. It's ridiculous and now my brother, who encourages all this just as much as his ex-wife, complains about the cost of maintenance! She's 10
Thankfully I never got into the habit of wearing make up at all... Some of my female family members tried getting me into it but I never went for it so I never created the habit...
The most I have ever done is try on lipstick a few times... I think the first time was when I was a kid... I must have done it 1 or 2 times when I was a kid at most... As an adult I only remember trying make up once... To remove it I just always licked and ate it off my lips... XD
I think I can probably count on one hand all the times I ever had any make up on my face at all and as an adult it was only once...! XD
The only cosmetic that I really enjoy is perfume... But I have a make up kit since I was a kid but I never use it... XD
I just like looking at it due to the pretty colors... I think looking at make up kits can be as fun as looking at crayons and watercolors...
Really now I always saw make up in a similar way to the stuff I used to draw and paint as a kid...
My mother was never one for much make up either... The most I have saw her wearing is lipstick which she LOVES but other than that she never seemed to wear any other make up...
She does paint her nails and do manicure and pedicure sometimes though... And removes her eyebrows a bit sometimes too... Never understood that since I think big eyebrows are more expressive and look better to me too... :/
I was very surprised when I heard there was so much pressure for women to wear make up in some parts of the world as where I live heavy make up is associated with prostitutes and stigmatized...
Well, I do "give a fuck," but then I'm older and very pale. A little blush goes a long way, and if I want to get fancy, I'll add a bit of Burt's Bees lip balm. There is a middle ground, imo.
No woman should feel guilty for not wearing makeup, nor should she be made to feel guilty if she does.
I’ve never worn makeup. I always used to joke that I missed the memo at age 15 that stated that all girls start wearing makeup.
I could never quite figure it out. I really wanted to! But just couldn't quite figure it all out.
If I were to get in on it now, I'd need to learn current fashion and current trends, and how to do this current day.
I dunno, just can't be bothered.
I had zero interest in it all through high school. In the first week of my first year of college, I got very sick with lupus. I felt and looked like ass... And I started experimenting with makeup to try to try to look my more "normal," because it also helped me mentally put on a sense of "being normal." (When you are dealing debilitating and potentially life-threatening chronic illness at 18, you take whatever you can get for normalcy). Putting on makeup at least gave me a routine of mentally and physically preparing myself for the day ahead.
At some point, I actually started having fun with it, because rather than pretending any of this shit is natural, I started experimenting with bold eye color, and my longtime lipstick color is a bold dark wild cherry. I was never into playing dress up as a little girl, I was and still are a rough and tumble outdoorsy tomboy.
I don't feel pressured to wear it when I go out, and sometimes I don't. I take a page from the Dolly Parton playbook on this one... Since this shit ain't natural, if you want to do it, have fun with it. People should wear it or not wear it, no one should feel obligated or pressured to do so or not do so.
Same! Never had any interest in it. But I was also a chubby tomboy so people treated me like crap from the get go and makeup wasn’t gonna help lol
Once my stepmom forced me into a “makeover” at some salon place.. I was so upset, I rubbed all the crap off my face as soon as I walked out.
Having a stranger stab a mascara wand into your eye is a uniquely enraging experience