Being a butch lesbian can be so alienating sometimes

Serious DiscussionBeing a butch lesbian can be so alienating sometimes

Posted December 2, 2022 by Slydog in Lesbians

I mostly lurk on here but every so often I feel compelled to post something. I guess this is one of those times.

Being only 18, I have obviously seen a lot of pressure to transition. People my age have outright used "they" or "he" for my pronouns, acted condescending when I tell them I'm a woman, and many times I meet other gender non conforming young women and get excited, only to learn they are "nonbinary" or "trans masc" or whatever. It just feels like there are very few if any other women my age who can just exist as gender nonconforming women.

Perhaps even more sad than this (at least for me socially) is how a lot of more feminine women treat me. A lot of them seem to see me as a man and are uncomfortable being friends or even having a friendly conversation with me. It seems to me like there is some expectation that I am predatory or just looking to date them because of how I look. I get this from straight women as well as bi/ "queer" women. When they do talk to me, if they are bi they often only do so because they have some romantic interest that is quickly lost when they realize I'm actually not a surrogate boyfriend and am a bit of a nerd (or I tell them I have a girlfriend). I just don't understand why the only women who seem to be comfortable being friends with or even really talking to me are gender nonconforming as well, which makes it very hard to find friends considering almost all of those women are deep in the gender nonsense (so i have friends who are nb/tifs and just have to overlook that).

It just makes me sad that there are all of these expectations and beliefs put on me because of my appearance. I guess I'm lucky that my girlfriend does actually treat me as a woman and a person with thoughts and feelings, but I feel like that isn't something unreasonable to expect from people.

I am not sure if this is a universal experience? Is it just because of my age? I also am going to a very liberal, "woke" women's college (was my best bet based on aid and programs but the environment is so toxic) so I can't tell if this is just because of my environment or if this is how it will be for the rest of my life. I'm just tired of dealing with this weird bias sometimes so I was curious if anyone else has had a similar experience?

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Posted December 2, 2022 by Slydog

Score: 30

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