If this isn't the correct circle, please, by all means - delete it and let me know.

This is hard to write.

It was even harder to tell my wife a couple of hours ago. Some months ago I alluded to some of it in the "peak trans" megathread, and I later deleted my comment. Not sure why. Well, sort of think I did so because I suspected my wife was coming here and I didn't want her to know about my rape because I was still feeling like it was in some way my fault and therefore an infidelity.

Yes, I know how fucked up that sounds.

I'll also back the fuck up and say my wife and I have an amazing and honest relationship; we are tried and true and as strong as fucking steel.

A few years ago, though, before we got married, while we were dating and engaged, I was raped by a "friend" of mine, a TiM. I don't need or want to go into the details, but it was a "trans woman" and it followed the exact same pattern as the men who have raped me, except this time I was far more unsuspecting and trusting. I got drunk with a "lady" friend. This one raped me. (My female friends never did that). "She" even chastised me afterwards for being a "pillow princess." When she did so I was busy trying to find my underwear and figure out what I would tell me wife because I had no fucking clue what had happened. She didn't even notice I was sobbing.

Anyways, fast forward. That was a bad year for me, and I drank myself into a stupor A LOT. I ended up getting therapy and medication for myself, and that helped a ton. But I never told me wife about it, because I felt so guilty.

Fast forward again. My beautiful wife and I have come around to GC beliefs completely on our own. We're libfems! We started talking about it together at first hesitantly, and eventually full throatedly. We each came to have separate Ovarit accounts and GC twitter accounts unbeknownst to each other! Tonight we shared them with each other.

And I finally decide to share with my wife about my rape, or at least that particular one.

She was, as I always knew she would be, very loving and supportive. And I feel like the proverbial enormous weight has been lifted.

Baby, if you're reading this - thank you for being you, thank you for your never ending support, thank you for loving me when I didn't feel worthy of it. Thank you for all the grace and compassion you have shown me.