20
Serious DiscussionThe void left by lack of real lesbian community and support.
Earlier this morning I made a post looking for advice about my relationship. The topic and context was in my opinion very exclusively a lesbian relationship issue. I don't like to share my relationship issues with my few lesbian friends because I don't want to create a skewed image of my girlfriend or our relationship in their eyes. While trying to navigate the issue in my own head I realized how isolated I was from lesbian support. I realized how much I needed lesbian community (I mean I already knew but it really brought it to the forefront). I don't even feel my therapist is 100% here because she's straight.
So I'm expected to go to lesbian communities and forums like /r/actuallesbians to get advice on a conflict in the bedroom in my relationship? We're expected to go to local community with males LARPing in what were once our spaces? Others in the so called alphabet community expect me to submit my situation for input in a community inundated with TIMs? Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? Male input value on a lesbian relationship's sexual conflict isn't just zero, it's a negative input that would detract from the conversation, and surely be a source of personal gratification for them. How the fuck can anyone expect said communities to be worthy of our presence? I felt so robbed of the support of community that we used to have, and others have when realizing this yesterday.
So I came here. The ONLY real lesbian community I know, and have, for support. I'm grateful to have you all here to help but this shouldn't be the only place we have. I wish more people would see that everyone is entitled to, and should have a community of their kindred peers to turn to. And said community should be able to be exclusive to said kind for genuine, and raw communing, discussing the joys, and tribulations of said community.
(reminder this is in the lesbian circle, and only lesbians are allowed to reply)
I feel you. The isolation I feel as a lesbian is so stifling sometimes.
this shouldn't be the only place we have.
Completely agree. But since the lesbian community has been fractured and pretty much destroyed by non-lesbians, we're stuck in tiny pools like this one gasping for air. And this site isn't exactly a friend to lesbians either. So where else do we go? There are so few places for us to speak freely as homosexual women who reject gender ideology. I hate that we have to "settle" for sites like this one, which I grow increasingly disillusioned with everyday. But until we can successfully regroup again and create something better by lesbians for lesbians only, for now, this is all we have.
Hey, I know this is late, but I know of a lesbian discord you could potentially join, if you want. Maybe that would help. It's not much but it's something.
I wish I knew of IRL lesbian meetups where I am that dont allow or cater to TIMs as well. Even just friendships or mutual bonding of like minded (sex and sexual attraction in this case) can be so important.
I'm actually going to an IRL lesbian- and female-only regional meetup soon that I found through the mag Lesbian Connections. Every attendee was either vouched for by a prior attendee or screened via a phone call to confirm their identity. If you live at all in an urban area, you may have enough others in your area interested to be able to do something similar! I would start an email address just for this project and write into LC inviting women-born lesbians to email you for information about a meetup in your region.
Tbh I would like to talk/share more but feel inhibited even here. I wish I could talk about things that were happening in my personal life but I can't because of how specific and identifiable they would be. This forum is publically viewable and there are people in my personal life unhinged enough to be trolling it.
Second this (including having some wild people in my life). There was a discord I found here at one point, but still didn’t quite feel like I fit in. It’s sad everyone has to look over their shoulder constantly.
We're a tenacious bunch, all of this entitlement and aggression is literally just repackaged from the 50's. We've seen this garbage before.
The amount of women that use our sexuality for personal gratification and clout, we've seen that too.
Lesbian dynamics and relationships are the idealization from almost every other sexuality's standpoint. We have limited ties to toxic masculinity, no gender roles or expectations (ideally), we have the highest relationship happiness and the longest, most frequent orgasms.
Unfortunately because we're so small, being dwarfed by literally every other letter. Their ability to consume our groups and speak over us was an easy feat.
My silver lining is understanding that men have tried this before, and failed.
Women have tried this before (political lesbians/bi-lesbian), and are still doing it, cause god forbid being bi or straight is unimaginable or not 'good' enough.
Point is, lesbians will always come out on top.
We were first attacked and labelled 'terfs' for daring to stand up against the T, WE are the front liners (despite being fractional slivers against bi and straight women), against gender ideology. WE helped gay men in their time of need. WE got pedophiles evicted from pride. WE stand firm in almost all categories that challenge female autonomy and anatomy rights.
Lesbians are seriously like the 300 Spartans against the Persians. We are so unbelievably crucial despite being a mere sliver in this political war, and that, my friend is where my pride lies nowadays,
We are fractured and small, but the amount of damage we've inflicted, and will continuously inflict will be momentous.