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I think we already live in that reality. Lesbians are in the closet about their sexual orientation to actual women because it is only acceptable to be open to a definition of women that includes males. They fear being accused of claiming to be open to the false women while only dating real women. Women are being silenced and pushed into the closet because of this. That is traumatic. We're already there.
But not here in this circle. Lesbians can be themselves here.
Spencer_Shayy [OP]November 17, 2023
We DO live in that reality. Hence why I said I'm a recluse. What she's describing in her post is the fear and loathing I live with every day. "Trauma" is an overused, over abused word. I wouldn't say any of us are traumatized (or at least, not me). I just despise everyone involved in this bullshit and desperately wish I could be straight or go somehow time travel to a time where "transgender" isn't a thing anymore so that I can finally get some peace.
It all sucks so much. I’m sick and tired of living in a regressing society that pretends it’s actually progressive.
But personally, I wouldn’t want to be straight because that means I’d be stuck being attracted to the very group of people I’m oppressed and repulsed by.
[Deleted]December 9, 2023
I wish I could go to an actual lesbian bar, or a café, or a dance. Any physical space only open to actual lesbians. I've only ever been in "queer" spaces in 16 years of being out. My gay brother gets to be in spaces just for gay men ALL. THE. TIME. While I never, not once in my life, have been in any space truly just for lesbians. It makes me sad and furious.
I'm sorry. I too yearn for lesbian only space. Having been in them in the past and finding them absolutely wonderful, looking back, I still didn't appreciate them enough and want them back. It's such an awful injustice that they've been stolen from us.
Spencer_Shayy [OP]December 9, 2023
Same here. I've never been to a lesbian only space or event, or even heard of one. I can't relate to modern day "lesbians", "gays", or "LGBTQIA[insert another unnecessary letter here]" at all. Every "queer" space is full of homophobes hostile to me. This is what "lesbian loneliness" means.
I came out seventeen years ago. It used to be that I would admit to it if it came up.
Now, when people ask, I just say something about “not currently looking for anything” because there’s usually some gross ass man with fake breasts strapped on that will go, “oh, I’m a lesbian too!”
I can only get so far with pretending my autism blocks the social cue of that. I can only pretend for so long.
I was out and proud about it for almost two decades. Now I hide it u less I’m certain I’ll be safe. I have no support and no people and I can’t have a social group based on it because there’s some prick trying to shove his way in.
I’d just gotten to a point where I was able to start dating when all of this ramped up.
I’m scared of dying alone but in physical reality, I can’t be certain of safety.
Don't be scared of dying alone. There's nothing to fear. I used to be afraid, too, but I've mostly accepted it now. Being alone means we're free of this crap.
I also refuse to date because of this trans bullshit - that, and the modern dating scene is fucked anyway, straight or gay. Relationships suck anyway. People are just awful. Earning and maintaining someone else's conditional love is costly - it's not worth the hardships or heartbreak, IMO. It's not worth changing everything about yourself.
But thankfully, no one ever asks my opinions, sexuality, or really anything about me, so I've been lucky in that I haven't had to spend too much time around "trans" people in certain spaces.
Not that I can open my mouth about romantic relationships but isn't earning and maintaining someone's love what we do on a daily basis with our friends and family?
The point of relationships is to find people who'll love you as you are anyway, without a need to change yourself.
I'm of the highest caliber of introvert so I don't mind being alone all that much, but that paragraph was too depressing even for me lol
Don't listen to Spencer. Perhaps earning and maintaining someone's love is costly (although I would say it's more emotionally taxing than financially), it's also really important for someone on the spectrum to have people around them that care about.
Speaking as a lesbian autistic woman myself, I've found I'm not going to spend too much time worrying about not having a partner but instead wait things out (this TQ fad will eventually pass), and nurture the friendships and familial relationships I do have. You need to make sure you don't drift apart from them due to personal preoccupations.
It is. And just like everything else, it can end in an instant, no matter what you do.
That's what I thought, too. Then I realized relationships don't work IRL like we were taught to believe. There's no such thing as unconditional love. No one will ever be good enough.
I'm sorry.