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Serious DiscussionFailings of the Lesbian Circle
Let's talk about it.
Do you feel the lesbian circle is currently successful?
I feel it dried up and died about a year ago. Personally, this place has quite a bit of tone policing. In the early stages, I often felt Ovarit was just another website with its own tint to what you were allowed to say and believe or risk being silenced, and I feel I was right.
Now this forum has been put on life support. Mods post in here with their weekly question, but the lack of silence actually leads to no members feeling a need to step in and self generate community: imo.
Most of the involved members left due to bullying that was on going. We aren't allowed to post poems or art without receiving ridicule by lurkers.
Over all, I am writing this to generate an ACTUAL DISCUSSION about the state of this forum and what we should do amongst USERS not MODS to help us become more active and form community in the lesbian sub.
Thanks for reading, I'm open to discussing and replying.
Peaking lesbians seems to happen in waves. I remember when reddit deleted r/truelesbians. We knew it was coming and thankfully Ovarit had been created before it was banned. Not letting lesbians have their own safe space is simple homophobia.
Love to see it. Also, Judg3_Dr3dd out there doing the lord's work.
I mean, this is basically my story. Probably a lot of women's story. Looking around w4w sites like "Is anyone here even an actual woman who dates women??"
I note from the reddit feed that the TIM are joining women’s infertility group so they can discuss their distress at not having babies. No place is female only. I had infertile issues, both my children were ivf babies. I can’t imagine the fucken madness of having a TIM discussing their issues in an ivf forum. every fucken person over 5-6y on this planet knows females carry the young.
Apparently TIM are having stillborn and discussing this trauma. So grieving parents can’t share the experience with TIM entering the discussion about their lies and fairytales
How this doesn't peak every grieving mother in those spaces is a testament to female socialization. We really are taught to put everyone else's needs and desires above our own, even our own desire to have a safe-space to grieve one of the most female experiences.
Eta: also fuck everyone of those TIMs. They are fetishists, no better than flashers and other predators, violating those women's boundaries.
It sucks that so many agree, yet it's so hard to find lesbians not into to gender woo irl.
All preference is discrimination. As long as I'm not being an asshole to people I'm not attracted to, what's inside my head is not anyone else's concern.
Many have a hard time grasping this ez concept. Maybe they think we are like most men, that we mistreat anyone we don't want to fuck
"It literally is NOT a "genitalia preference". It's a sexual orientation. People do not choose to be gay or straight. Calling it a genital preference is just more language obfuscation that opens the door to woke homophobia."
Amen, which one of you wrote this?
Edit to add: which sub are they referring to here? I've been off reddit a while:
"There was a sub with over 100,000 members that was just shut down by the admins for being a cis lesbian sub."
That sub they mentioned was r/Truelesbians. It was a wonderful sub full of wonderful true women who were actually women and were lesbians. There was a lot of good stuff on there, but of course most of it was ranting about TIMs because TIMs are fucking everywhere. However there was a lot of nuance into relationships and it actually felt like a balanced lesbian space (ie we weren’t just all talking about the destruction of lesbian spaces, which is important, but can be emotionally draining if discussed every single day).
Damn, sorry I missed it. Did it only start up recently?
No it didn’t, so that’s why it seems confusing to me…the sub was around for years until it got nuked two years ago now? The last big ban hammer was like 2020 wasn’t it? Time flies way too fast.
Unless there was another lesbian sub I wasn’t aware of. I know there was a feminist sub so maybe it was that one..but it wasn’t explicitly lesbian.
Oh, in the thread multiple people were saying that there was a cis lesbian only sub that was just banned in the last couple days. Maybe a different one? I became more active on reddit at the beginning of the pandemic (shutdown, nothing else to do..), so I missed all those og gc subs.
Then I have no clue, unless it was the fourth wave sub or another lesbian sub that I wasn’t aware of that was trying to rebuild
By the end days, /truelesbians had actually become more of a normal lesbian space with very few/if any posts about TIMs besides new posters grateful for stumbling upon the actual lesbians. I had posted about interracial lesbian dating and got some really awesome responses a couple days before the ban. It was great hearing lesbians just share their stories and questions and musings. There's a link with archived posts from /truelesbians floating around somewhere and the discussions were so meaningful. I really miss that sub :(
I miss it too! There was a lot of actual good discussion there that was lead by actual women. I miss it so much.
I’m still upset that they banned it. I loved going on there and talking to women who were lesbians like myself, especially since we are so stretched out away in time and space.
Wait, someone on there said reddit shut down a cis-lesbian with over 100k members "like last week" and that comment is 4 days old. So there was a "cis-lesbian" sub with 100k members as of a week and a half ago that I didn't know about? What? What is this person talking about, anyone know? There's r/AL, which is run by and for men so that won't shut down, there's r/L which is run by and for men and is just for pornography so that won't ever get shut down. There's r/AyL which allows men but is actually on-topic as a lesbian sub, but they only have a 6k user base. Is this person confusing something with something else?
Another sub had sprung up recently for lesbians but it was quickly shut down. Don't know how many members it had but it grew really quick. Seemed to be a spinoff of Truelesbians. Wish I could remember the name but I already knew it wouldn't last on reddit so I didn't join.
It’s nice to see that everyone in the comments are all saying and agreeing on things we have been saying for ages.
There were several gay men on there saying outright that it's not "genital preference", it's sexual orientation. The clear message is that "transwomen" are men and "transmen" are women - no matter what they do or how they feel. If it had been only lesbians saying that, the transborg would have been aggressive and belligerent.
I wonder if they do end up attacking this girl more than the gay dudes if that will help peak others in the comments ? Not that I would wish that on her as I’m relieved to see more gender critical views in the comments , seems nature is healing lol although I wouldn’t put it past the TRAs to start deleting this wrongthink soon
Love your username!
Thank you so much ! Your username is cool too
If you hang around r/JustUnsubbed you'll see similar posts occasionally. There is basically never any dissent, everyone always agrees. JU is a pretty chill place to watch the downfall of reddit.
I’ll check it out !! thank you for telling me about it . I’m mostly too scared to crawl around reddit as the casual misogyny on that site is rampant
You will see people who unsub for stupid reasons, including their own misogyny, but as I remembered they typically got flamed. Haven't been active on Reddit in quite a while now, hope it's still as chill as I remember.
You sweet summer child lol it’s a dumpster fire of porn, misogyny and trans subreddits these days or at least in the subreddits ive seen ngl I try to limit my time on reddit although there are good subs on there
I think you misunderstood me. I meant the subreddit JustUnsubbed was a place I remember as chill. Not Reddit as a whole. People went to JU to make fun of how bad Reddit was.
Oh sorry my mistake lol at least they can laugh at the dumpster fire together
Yeah towards the end of my time, it was basically the only subreddit I liked.
YH I tend to stick to the sewing subreddits these days
Agreed.