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Daily(ish) questionWhat’s something you need to get off your chest?
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I'm definitely anti-natalist (and a lesbian)
I even had myself sterilized in case I got raped.
There's dozens of reasons.
My first motivation of course was being the eldest daughter. You notice pretty quick how having to care for younger siblings sucks up all your free time. Watching my "childless" friends leave and go hang out without me always sucked. I also developed a lot of anxiety over younger siblings hurting themselves or getting lost. Having to get up when I'm tired and make them food, clean up after them, help them with homework. Sitting at boring soccer games. I never enjoyed any of it. It ruined my life at the time but I'm extremely grateful now because I know how much I hate dealing with kids and thus I can be sure I've made the right choice.
I think about how I can just get into my car and leave the house without considering the needs of a toddler all the time.
Now let's see um
-The planet is on fire
-is also an over populated shithole (funny how pro-natalists cry that there's not enough people, yet there's also not enough jobs for everyone???)
-cant send your kid to public school without them getting shot at or told they're another gender
-My kids would be poor
-you can raise them good but then their friends will ruin it
-Skibidi toilet
-You have to anticipate the choices your child makes before they make them and manipulate them into making the right choices 24/7 which I don't have the brain power for. (I think this is why moms seem so zombified to other people all the time)
The only con I've noticed is that I'm kinda self centered. I haven't had to consider the needs of anyone else for fifteen years so I'm extra annoyed when I have to "deal" with someone else. If I feel like you've put me in a parental role and I have to empathize with you or do something for you that I don't want to do, we're pretty much enemies and I'll perceive you as a giant annoying younger sibling until you die. - That's why I really don't like the Transes, because they basically try and force all women to be their on-call mommies. It's very triggering because I've already been in a situation where I had to constantly take the emotional and mental state of someone else into account, and wasn't allowed to set any boundaries. They get almost zero empathy or sympathy from me because of this.
Eldest daughter. That'll do it. People act like I'm sacrificing an experience I have never had by getting sterilized. You reap what you sow. You force your daughter to become a mommy-maid, don't throw a tantrum when she doesn't choose motherhood. I have had enough, thanks.
Is it really a con to be self-centered? I think more women should shove off the burden of mommying their peers.
Sucky thing is you can shove it off but that doesn't mean it won't go unpunished.
Nice to read this.
• Have you ever thought about suing your parents?
when were you able to get sterilized?
I've been thinking about sterilization too, now i'm almost 30, but I can't trust doctors/hospitals and have had so many stupid experiences with doctors who generally don't take me serious. It's exhausting talking to them because they push me into the role of the guilty and subtly make fun of my health or talk about themselves and their knowledge. I don't want to go alone to such people anymore, so I stay away, because I am alone.
My main reason for not wanting pregnancy on anybody are my feelings of pain (includes boredom, anger, sadness) and shame. I know how it feels to be abandoned the whole life, having nobody to talk to and nobody that cares how I feel. I have low to zero pleasure in my life because others just see me as a stupid emo ugly waste of oxygen. I think they attack me because I can't really care for myself and can't produce something for the circle, so my role in life is more the 'second child' one, with the only purpose to hide from others as good as I can. I see my birth as a big injustice that only lead to more hurtful situations no one wants to endure. And I see other animals are in similar circles of violence and violations, helpless. I wish that this ends, so infertility for everyone.
For now I don't believe suing my parents, especially father, will have any result I want to have, but I see it should be done and laws need to change, a political group should be made in favor of females. We need all more or less care and protection, so that we aren't used for creating offspring.
No I don't plan on suing my parents we're on good terms now and I'm grateful for the experience even though it sucked at the time because now I'm sure I made the right choice.
As far as your health care providers go, hit up reddit. Some of the child free / pro choice subs have lists of doctors in your state that will do it for you. I submitted mine and was pleased to find out he was already on the list.
Have you ever sought out counseling for your complicated feelings? Can't say I've experienced the same level of deep pain as you have regarding childbirth and children though I'll admit it does scare me. Like the pain and complications and what have you.
Doctors that will sterilize shortcut: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/edit?gid=1318374028#gid=1318374028