Bi Women's Boyfriends (at Pride)

Serious DiscussionBi Women's Boyfriends (at Pride)

Posted June 5, 2024 by brusquette in Lesbians

I'm seeing a lot of discourse between lesbians asking bi women to not bring their straight boyfriends to pride, and then the response of well he's an ally/he's supporting me, or worst of all 'well how can you tell so and so is straight' from the same people who treat being gay as having a weird haircut and freckle tattoos.

Maybe I'm all mixed up about it. Because I get the idea of not being perceived as gay...it's more that when it happens to me, either it's a straight man who is sexualizing me or trying to get something out of me, or a misogynistic gay man who doesn't recognize that we share a struggle. Someone looking for validation online about bringing their boyfriend to pride doesn't understand I don't even get to ask 'can I bring my girlfriend into this Uber, this grocery store, my family reunion.' I just get to live in fear, I just get to quickly break hands apart and pretend to be sisters.

I don't feel like bi women aren't entitled to the support they can get, I suppose it's not like I resent people who have supportive parents and bring them. But in practice these men are often not actually all that accepting. They tolerate the idea because they don't see sapphic relations as as serious, they even enjoy the idea sometimes like 'hahaha we comment on how hot random women are together.' He can be lying to get into her pants, or worse they can both just not get why it's not okay to sexualize us and that their ultimate cool girl fantasy ain't it.

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Posted June 5, 2024 by brusquette

Score: 21

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