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Chit ChatOnline dating is a nightmare
Posted September 9, 2024 by yogurtsecretly a TERF in Lesbians

I know that someone posted about this topic yesterday, so I'll keep it short - I'm really just wanting to shout into the ether about this. This is my first post here and I'm so glad to have found this community.

I'm recently-ish single at 30 and am venturing into the online dating app space for the first time in ~7 years. It is SO bad out there, holy shit. Worse than I remember! I'm amazed at how difficult it is to find monogamous, real ("cis") lesbian women. So many profiles belong to A) polyamarous people, B) bi/"queer"/enby women, often with bios specifically tailored to attract men, and, of course, C) TIMs. Polyamorous trans people are specifically quite common. And for the record, I am happy to date actual bi women, but a lot of these profiles read as "spicy straight." Like, I came across one recently that said "looking for a guy with bi wife energy" - what?? So, you're accessorizing with queerness to find a quirky dude?

The worst offenders, though, are the TIMs who do not specify their transgenderism in the text of their profiles. With angles, filters, sunglasses, etc, it can be occassionally difficult to tell whether someone is an actual woman or a TIM. I find myself really having to inspect some profiles to try to figure it out. It sucks so much.

The dating pool of actual, monogamous, lesbian women feels so small. And when I do come across lesbians' profiles, it's not uncommon to see the "I will punch terfs" verbiage. Fuck!!

Thank you for listening. ❤️

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