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Chit ChatI've come to a lifechanging realisation
You can probably already guess what this is about. for reference, I'm 21, soon 22.
if this kind of post isn't allowed here, i deeply apologise, i just need to vent so I'll just take it elsewhere.
I've dated men in the past. my life growing up was centred mostly around men. I grew up with straight love stories everywhere, i guess you could say shoved down my throat, in hindsight. I've even dated two guys... except i never met these two irl. i was a people pleaser.
in 2019, i realised i was attracted to girls after a very pretty girl joined our school and i started liking her a LOT. it was hard, but i eventually came to terms with my attraction to women and accepted that i was "bisexual". but there's a problem, i live in an extremely homophobic muslim country which is why it took me until I was 17 to even figure out i liked girls. the thought didn't even occur to me at all. i was still a muslim back then and the goal we were fed is to marry a man and settle down eventually, it felt like something i had to do.
I felt comfortable under the "bisexual" label because i could hide my attraction to women by focusing on my apparent attraction to men instead. I figured that even if i pursued a girl i liked, we'd have no future in my country. it would be unrealistic, and my family would 100% disown me if they found out i liked girls. but it's ok, if i marry a man i love eventually, they'll never find out, right?
then i had real life sexual encounters with men and i... didn't enjoy it. sex with men grosses me out. men grossed me out in general.
all these years, i also tended to just jump from male crush to male crush, like i had some kind of void to fill. one thing i noted is that even while i had a boyfriend, or while i was talking to a guy, every time i saw that one girl I first liked, I'd feel butterflies in my stomach and get giddy about her.
but that all changed very recently, when i finally began shaving off these feelings of obligation like i eventually had to marry a man. i fully stopped caring what men thought of me. i fully embraced the side of me that is attracted to women.
and the more i accept myself, the less attracted i am to men.
the idea of being with a man in any way fucking terrifies me. it's gross, i don't want to be intimate with a man, and even when i now meet guys I'm theoretically 100% compatible with, I'm just not attracted to them at all. I've even hurt someone in this process because i had to reject him even though we could've been perfect together, simply because i wasn't into him.
all this is really hard to digest for me, I've only realised this a couple days ago. I'm still processing it. I'm so scared of what's gonna happen now, especially now that the safety blanket of hetero relationships aren't an option for me anymore since I'm not attracted to men. i can't hide my sexual orientation forever unless i stay celibate my whole life. I'm so scared.
but being with a woman doesn't sound scary or gross like being with a man does.
sorry if this post is long winded, I'm just scared and i don't know what to expect. I'm scared for my safety since I'm still in said homophobic country. people are extremely hostile to lgb and gender nonconforming people here.
For fear of what would happen in a men's prison. "But I wanted to BE the rapist. I don't want to be raped!"
If you, a male, enter a space set aside for female safety, dignity or progress, then you are automatically a sexual predator, a misogynist and an abuser.
These men hear us saying “No” but their individual feelings are more important than the collective safety of women and girls.
If you’re so fucking tired, stop crossdressing and get the hell out of women’s places, pervert. Problem solved.
"Wah! Why do they blame the penis people when female inmates get raped and impregnated in prison!!??"
Forcefully moved to a men’s prison is such weird language. Do they think most prisoners are just happily walking themselves into prison without anyone taking them there? The whole V-coding thing annoys me so much. If you don’t think you’re safe in men’s prisons or men’s changing rooms or whatever other space then you’re more than welcome to campaign for your own third space but taking over women’s spaces and putting them at risk will never be the answer.
No, you leave us alone
I wouldn't waste a single second thinking about you, much less waste air talking about you, if you just fucked off and left women alone to be women without pathetic freaks like you muscling in on our spaces and our lives and our rights
I want nothing more than to leave you alone, so off you fuck and I will do just that
Exactly this. I can feel your rage through the screen and I am feeling the exact same goddamn thing.
I didn’t know that women in prisons or female only shelters faced threats from flying penises. One woman being raped in what is supposed to be a safe space by a man is one too many. You and your lots don’t belong, get out.
Dude. No one would care if you want to wear dresses, makeup, long hair, etc. And if you play make-believe "woman", with the phony pronouns in your private life - with willing participants only. Just don't expect, or ask, the rest of the world to go along with any of it.
And stay out of ALL women's spaces and everything else for or about women. Because that makes you the problem. If you do not violate the places where you will never - can never - belong, we will leave you alone.
It's because they think they're so special that they don't get it.
They are not the "primary scapegoat". They are a minor irritant, but also, more often than their numbers would warrant, a genuine threat. And as we all know, it's not because they're trans. It's because they're men.
Yes, men. And what's more, they're unstable men who believe they can be women.
What you're mad about is the scraps of honest reporting that people get.
You're mad that people know your brothers have been raping and impregnating female convicts, that you've been stealing awards from female athletes, and that you've been harassing women in changing rooms.
This is such a frustratingly deluded rant.
I'm mad at all the negative press
ugh how much positive press do you get?? How many fawning interviews and cover stories and women of the year, puff pieces about the hardships, Pulitzer prizes for offensive books, profiles about trans athletes or celebrities, and even just the crazy agreement to use fake pronouns without question have there been? Finally having a few larger publications dare to cover the majority opinion that physical bodies are still a real issue is "negative press"?
like we're the primary scapegoat
you're not a scapegoat for anything. you're a direct concern for many women. It's a material issue.
When it's sports we're the problem, when it's bathrooms we're the problem, when it's changing rooms we're the problem, when it's prisons we're the problem
Right.
it's always that that we're "a threat" to cis women.
Right. No scare quotes necessary.
Conservatives only view and paint us up as dangerous and unhinged psychopaths and that we're all just deluded freaks!
You don't have to be unhinged psychopaths or deluded freaks. You're men. That's what makes you dangerous or unfair or discomfiting to women. Rally for third spaces to share with women who are comfortable with third spaces
I saw cases of trans women in the US being forcefully moved to a prison for men and one even tried to end it all to avoid going for fear of what would happen there.
Fear of what? Being around men? If that is a rational fear, why can women not legitimately express it?
Just leave us alone, fuck!
seriously.
They put so much energy into creating problems for themselves so they can feel like victims. Do they have no actual problems in their lives?
I’m pretty sure they don’t. Other than being the most privileged and therefore least appreciated group.
Can’t get victim points as a straight white man.. put on a dress though, and BAM!! Suddenly they can play victim too!
Here comes the wallowing in false victimhood and pitying oneself again. You can't pretend that you don't know why everyone despises you in 2025, TIMs. Stop acting like you haven't seen penis-owner rapists either attempting to self-id to get into female prisons, or successfully self-id'ng to access female prisons. Fuck off, create your own MTF domains, and stop colonising women's spaces and then NO ONE would care about ANY of you males. You know this, but you don't want that. Your fetish/grift involves making US uncomfortable.
There’s hardly any negative press about TIMs except sometimes on Fox News, which nobody believes anyway. (At least in the US)
Well, prove us wrong. And don't think it's only 'conservatives' who see your behaviour as a problem.
Yes, you are the problem, TIMs.
You don’t belong in female spaces. Get the fuck out.
Why are TIMs 15 times more likely than cis men to be serving time in the US prison system for felony-level sexual violence, bruh?
Why are TIMs TIMming out during their trials or sentencing, and not before?
Why are TIMs raping and forcibly impregnating actual women in "women's" prisons?
Admitting you have a problem is the first step toward solving your problem.