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Hey everyone,
So Christmas came and went and I decided this one will be the last I spend with my blood family, for various reasons. But I realised it took me so long to make this decision because just the thought of answering people with "nothing much" when they ask about Christmas plans makes me uneasy. Like I'm some poor little orphan or something, I don't know.
Even just for me, thinking that it might just turn into a "normal day" from now on, with no family, while others around me drive home to their parents makes me sad.
In my case, the fracture between me and my family has nothing to do with my sexual orientation, but I think family fractures are more likely to happen to us because of it. So how do you celebrate Christmas without family when you're single?
I personally have a few Muslim friends and I asked them if it'd be cool to just hang out or go on a trip next year. They're pretty on board with the idea lol, so it brings me comfort to know I do have solutions not to be alone on this day that will inevitably bring up sour memories.
I have a few minor problems with this but here's where I really take issue.
Rape is functionally decriminalized. Saying that it being illegal doesn't change anything isn't telling the whole story. I don't know a single acquaintance or friend who has been raped who even bothered contacting law enforcement. Often there's a bunch of reasons for that, but "what's the point?" is a HUGE one. I remember the Stanford rape trial, I remember the girl who was raped by a dorm neighbor at Harvard, high profile cases with sympathetic victims where literally nothing happened to the rapists. (I mean I guess the Stanford rapist got a tiny slap on the wrist but it was a fucking joke.)
A victim who goes to law enforcement is usually treated like garbage and for what? Cops to not even bother bringing the rapist in? Oh, maybe it actually goes to trial... just for the rapist to get praised for his sport abilities in open court?
Rapists don't think twice before raping because they know that even though it's illegal there are no actual consequences. There need to be more Larry Nassars, more rapists who are actually punished. And the punishments need to be swift and severe.
If someone steals my car, that really would suck for me, it might be a horrible inconvenience and screw things up a lot, but I wouldn't have nightmares for the rest of my life about it. Why is the punishment for stealing a car harsher than rape? Why should teenage girls have to bear some weird conservative burden on having safe, healthy, age appropriate sexual interactions (and not pornsick ones - I agree that is something that also needs to change) because we refuse to lock up and actually punish men that feel like they have a right to rape?