I like to take an easel and other supplies to paint by the local forest reserve. It’s a park like space with a lot of families. Was painting, had my headsets on and was listening to a true crime podcast. Head down. Not approachable.

A group of men in their early thirties walked by and I assumed they were just passing by. They started getting louder and one of them SAT NEXT TO ME with our legs touching and I yanked my headsets off. Him and his friends and all laughing and giggling trying to ask me about my paintings. The other guys were okay, they were just asking me questions about the paintings in a normal-ish way. The dude sitting next to me started grilling me, asking me where I was from, and when I said I was from X city his eyes lit up and he said “do you live down here alone?” after asking me how old I was. It was the creepiest grilling I have ever got in my entire life. And I got so jittery and quiet I was just trying not to break down. In the silence he asked, “with a boyfriend?” And I just nodded mutely and stammered something. Eventually they went away but not after I had given the creepy dude my art Instagram (promptly blocked him.)

If it weren’t for the several families picknicking within feet of us I would have been scared shitless. I just feel so sick and dirty. I can’t even go alone in a single public space without men approaching me. I wasn’t wearing anything bad either, just a shirt and my jean jacket and some shorter shorts (which I now think was the concern, I have long legs and wearing shorts is maybe not the best signal to perverts. I’m just trying not to throw up in fear and rage. I’m so scared of even going back to that spot for fear that they’ll come again. I despise stuff like this because I’m a relatively feminine person and shit like this makes me so uncomfortable in my body and femininity. When I move I’m rehauling my whole wardrobe and hairstyle so these fucks will leave me alone. I’m even more disappointed that I didn’t have the courage to walk away or act rude, but then again I couldn’t flee without leaving my easel there and being cornered by a pack of five dudes while one of their friends tries his pickup artist BS is horrifying.