My example:

So, several years ago I joined an online group for (real) lesbians who were either detrans, wanting to detrans, or who were resisting pressure to trans.

Because of all the ongoing harassment and infiltration (as you can imagine) from the usual suspects, the group had a strict policy that you would only be allowed into the group after you had a one-way video call with the moderator (she just covered her camera). She could see your face and your driver's license, but for her and the group's safety, you couldn't see hers. She basically did a brief interview to ensure (as much as possible) that you were female, you were a lesbian, and you were related somehow to the topic of the group.

So, back to general question/topic:

How could we start doing things like that so lesbian-only groups of all kinds could get started?

Imagine screened groups like this all over -- for lesbians in general, certain groups of lesbians (e.g., fans of L Word, or lesbians who knit), certain parts of the country/world (e.g., French lesbians or lesbians in Los Angeles), and so on. Of course, even irl nothing is perfect -- but we need a way to start. These could be online-only groups, or even gateways to local, private, lesbian-only groups.

I'm interested in the shared technical aspects of how to make this happen, put out in ways that even non-techies can implement (so more lesbians can do it). It should become common knowledge for all to know and use. We need the "How-Tos".

For example, could something like the above be done today even via something ubiquitous like Zoom?

What would be the security concerns needing dealt with, and how would a moderator/screener deal with them? E.g., would the moderator have to worry about her IP address being exposed to whoever she was connecting with? How would she keep her own identity shielded from the "applicant"?

Are there other platforms that would be more secure?

Are there online, accessible, and not-requiring-great-tech-knowledge resources for learning and using them?

Our lesbian grandmothers figured out how to meet and share with each other safely, and they didn't even have the internet. I know we can do even more if the information about how to do it safely online is gathered by our techie sisters and shared with those who are less techie but interested in running these kinds of things whether just for socializing, for organizing, or whatever.