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ventFeeling guilty about thoughts I had
Let me start this post saying that I've been in a relationship with another woman for years. I still think she's beautiful, attractive and I enjoy every moment we spend together.
We have our ups and downs, I'm always there when she needs me and I'm good at understanding her mood and what she might need. Sometimes I feel kind of motherly in this regard but I dealt with anxiety disorder so I'm highly sympathetic since for now she has no means to battle it.
The problem is, sometimes I miss the "build up" of meeting a new woman, liking her, getting that first kiss. So when we can we go on dates or make something together but at the moment I'm working a lot so time is a limited resource.
This said, I go to the real problem. Due to the nature of my job I get to meet people and sometimes I spend a lot of time with them.
I met this woman, I felt like she was giving me signals and flirting sometimes but I made it clear I'm in a relationship. We still spent time together. There was no intimate talk or even touch. I kissed her on the cheek goodbye because she asked me to but this is a normal way to say hello/goodbye to someone here. She told me also to keep in contact.
The problem is, this is the first woman in years that I found attractive. Except, of course my s.o.
I even dreamt about doing something with her.
Again, I never acted on any of these ideas nor gave an impression I would if I was single.
My gf knows about this woman and asked if I liked her in that sense, of course I said that I didn't. If she found someone else attractive I would rather not know.
End rant, I needed to get this off my chest. A lot of people say it's normal to find other people attractive but honestly this is the first time after years.