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Hey everybody, just wondering if anyone cares to share your experience with this aspect of relationship and family. We are expecting a little one soon and my wife is the one carrying the pregnancy. I am so joyful we are growing our family, we both wanted this a lot and very happy with things which are going “according to plan.” I want to be a good support for my wife.

Honestly, she has been pretty grouchy throughout the first trimester- she feels physically really bad with symptoms of fatigue and headache. With all the changes in her body I know it’s just part of the process, I’m trying to be very attentive to her needs, to be graceful with her moods and stay on her good side. I feel like we are not connecting on a sexual level right now, I understand this is temporary and she’s got so many new hormones in her body now.

And I hate that because of COVID I haven’t been able to be at most of the doctors appointments. 😞 of course I wanted to be by her side and holding her hand at each and every one of them. At least there’s FaceTime - better than nothing.

I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot about all the changes that are in store for our family. I was wondering if anybody who was in a same sex couple where your partner was the one who carried a pregnancy would be willing to share your experience or provide some insights. I guess especially with covid I think my wife and I have both felt more alone in this journey than we would have liked to.

Hey everybody, just wondering if anyone cares to share your experience with this aspect of relationship and family. We are expecting a little one soon and my wife is the one carrying the pregnancy. I am so joyful we are growing our family, we both wanted this a lot and very happy with things which are going “according to plan.” I want to be a good support for my wife. Honestly, she has been pretty grouchy throughout the first trimester- she feels physically really bad with symptoms of fatigue and headache. With all the changes in her body I know it’s just part of the process, I’m trying to be very attentive to her needs, to be graceful with her moods and stay on her good side. I feel like we are not connecting on a sexual level right now, I understand this is temporary and she’s got so many new hormones in her body now. And I hate that because of COVID I haven’t been able to be at most of the doctors appointments. 😞 of course I wanted to be by her side and holding her hand at each and every one of them. At least there’s FaceTime - better than nothing. I guess I’ve just been thinking a lot about all the changes that are in store for our family. I was wondering if anybody who was in a same sex couple where your partner was the one who carried a pregnancy would be willing to share your experience or provide some insights. I guess especially with covid I think my wife and I have both felt more alone in this journey than we would have liked to.

3 comments

Hi! I just found this circle and your post. The changes you can expect... I am not even sure where to start because I don't know how universal my experience is. So I will talk from my experience, but please take it with a grain of salt.

My child is only one year old, so I can only share a tiny bit of what it's been like. Long before we had her, I read something written by a lesbian woman who was a nonbio mom. I think she is also a psychologist. She wrote that in the early days, their child showed a preference for the bio mom because of breastfeeding, and that as time went on and the kid was no longer a baby, that sort of went away and she was able to bond with the child too. I have found this to be true, but in a way that I didn't expect. I strongly bonded with my baby within the first few months, but when she figured out where her milk was coming from (wife has been able to pump but not feed from the breast) she started showing a clear preference for my wife, and I have to try to remind myself that it's just a baby doing her developmental stages thing. But it sort of hurts. I would recommend that you build in special stuff for you and the baby so that your child always knows it has two fully committed mothers. I would write more, but I have to start the day. More to say, so please reach out if you would like to start a direct conversation. Wishing you lots of luck and love!

Oh one more thing. I found a new level of admiration for my wife in how patiently and lovingly she mothers.