Hello everyone,

I am bisexual and have decided I will post my topic here, because I don't want to invade lesbian spaces as this phenomenon is far too common. However I feel genuinely uncomfortable about bringing this subject to the table even though I know that we are encouraged to share our thoughts and opinions. This is because I am not a lesbian and perhaps some feel I should not speak about this but it ties to gender roles/cultural feminism and I wonder if it hurts our reputation as gender critical/radical feminist.

The reason I am a feminist is because I think women are oppressed on the basis of their sex and alongside with this I acknowledge that gender roles are social constructs, with femininty forced on women despite the fact that all traits considered feminine are mostly characteristics that exploit women. Most traits coded as feminine only relate to serving others.

In my opinion there is no trait or interest that is masculine or feminine, this is only the judgement of specific cultures/societies. But sex is an immutable reality that often leads us to being forced into femininity. When I see women describing themselves as feminine I cringe, because what does it mean? Why would anyone identify themself with a social construct? I feel the same way when women identify themselves as masculine, it's often worse because it's not the default for women and this makes certain women feel better and special, especially because traits that happen to be coded as masculine tend to be objectively more valuable when it comes to agency and accomplishments.

If ambition and other things were treated as a gender neutral arbitrary traits the world would be a better place, with women who have it treating and regarding themselves as regular women and men who don't have it feeling no need to compensate for their lack of it (think TIMs). Most women would exhibit more ambition and other traits and it would help them become independent and if many more show it then there wouldn't be this Not Like Other Girls thing. I apply this wish to all traits coded as either feminine/masculine, the whole association with gender stereotypes/roles should simply disappear and it would become a thing that can simply occur in both males and females (biological sex speaking).

Now there's this bastardized branch of cultural feminism that somehow celebrates femininity as we know it and they claim traditionally feminine traits (submissiveness, passivity, make up) are likely inborn/inherent and that even if they weren't then they somehow have special meaning for women because of how much the connection with certain clothing/behaviors and women is ingrained our society, and that we should celebrate it as an inherent part of womenhood. But the truth is that femininity only exists to oppress women and reduces our class to being decorative and caring beings.

I've seen some arguments like that used for butch women too, such as that 'this butch has an innate masculinity and it should be respected' but often these women identify themselves as femme or butch based on how much they conform to stereotypes of either gender, with either one not realizing that they shouldn't be portrayed as an innate/ingrained part of men and women. I heard about butches playing with 'boy toys' as kids but there's no such thing as a boy toy, and even if they played with them, they did it because their caretakers introduced them to those toys, and the same applies to women/femmes who played with dolls and mistakenly feel like they always had this innate femininity/masculinity that makes them look like a gendered caricature as adults.

It's simply my honest opinion that it seems like butch/femme identities are not related to radical/gender critcal feminism but instead to cultural feminism that celebrates and encourages the idea of traditional femininity/masculinity as innate/ingrained and therefore natural, or as normal to 'perform' to the outside world for whatever reason. I understand there are women who happen to fall into stuff coded as feminine/masculine but they should actually say 'I am just a woman who likes/exhibits X, and only a woman, my activities don't have to lead to a special identity based on stereotypes such as butch/femme'. I am afraid that we help cultural feminism if we encourage butch/femme identities. I have seen no evidence of Andrea Dworkin and other prominent lesbian feminists refering to themselves as either identity. The identities are defined by the definitions we should want to get rid of; feminine/masculine.