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Feel guilty about sexuality
Posted October 21, 2021 by spinningintellect in LovingWomen

I grew up with the trope of the "predatory lesbian", and I always have it in my head that even thinking of a woman being attractive is preying on her.

I think I might be attracted to some men (fictional ones), but even that makes me feel guilty. Like I am somehow betraying women by having feelings for men.

I feel ashamed for having a sex drive. Sex is still associated with my parents in my mind (abuse), so even thinking about it is gross.

And I feel embarassed for being relatively inexperienced for my age.

I'm having trouble reconciling all of this. There's no one in my life with whom there is a mutual attraction, so it's just me and my mind. It's kind of tormenting me.

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