10
questionWhen do you ask someone out?
Posted November 11, 2023 by velvetpaws in LovingWomen
  • 4%Right away/as soon as I think I might be interested
    4%Right away/as soon as I think I might be interested
  • 32%Once we know each other and it seems like we like each other
    32%Once we know each other and it seems like we like each other
  • 44%I'll ask her to hang out but not call it a date and just see what happens
    44%I'll ask her to hang out but not call it a date and just see what happens
  • 4%I don't - if she doesn't ask it's probably not happening
    4%I don't - if she doesn't ask it's probably not happening
  • 16%Other
    16%Other

25 votes

4 comments

stern-as-steelNovember 11, 2023

Wish I could help but my gf is the one that asked me out. I guess technically I did the 'ask her to hang out but not call it a date and see what happens', but I wasn't sure she was gay for a while, and then I wasn't sure she liked me, and things were moving pretty fast...

In my case it worked out. I asked her to a movie and dinner alone after hanging out with other people several times, and then she did the same the next day, and asked me halfway through whether I would be open to considering it a date. So I never had to actively make a choice about it.

That being said, it seems to me going with 'ask her to hang out' a couple times is a good idea, as a bit of a test. I like to think I would have asked her eventually...

ItsCalculatedNovember 12, 2023

You mentioned how you two started dating the other day and I thought it was really cute.

ItsCalculatedNovember 12, 2023

I don't like wrong impressions that can occur if you wait too long. I also feel like it is less awkward early on if the romantic interest isn't mutual when I/she changes gears to friendship. Now that I'm at the age of settling down time is also of the essence, and the sooner I can determine if a woman is a lover or a friend so that I can continue looking for Mrs. right, the better. I met the woman I'm now in a long term relationship with on a dating app. As soon as we laid out a few deal breakers, and what we were looking for I was asking for a date.

I'm typically more passive in a relationship and let her do a lot of the leading, but I will not dally when I think we're compatible. I have no problem asking a woman out.

RadisheNovember 11, 2023

I tried doing the asking out, and found I had a hard time with rejection and then felt uncomfortable around her ever after that. I'm done with dating in my life, but were I to do it all over again, I would just hang out with her and get to know her on a friendship level and keep it low key.