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discussionWlw and the urge to merge
Inspired by the lesbian bed death post on the other circle.
From Urban Dictionary: the tendency (usually attributed to lesbians) to become the same person. They start wearing the same outfits, doing everything together, essentially becoming the same person at the horror and disgust of their friends.
So basically, giving up one’s sense of self in a relationship. Unlike “bed death”, I think the “urge to merge” phenomenon is unambiguously toxic. From an attachment theory perspective it seems like two anxiously attached people uniting over a shared fear of abandonment.
Do you think wlw are more at risk for this? I experienced it once and the relationship was super unhealthy.