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daily(ish) questionHave you played sports? What was that like for you?
And are there really as many same-sex attracted women in sports as people say?
I played field hockey in high school! No one that I knew at the time was openly same sex attracted, but I did know two girls who privately came out to me as such (one bi, one lesbian). I also had a very intense friendship with a girl on the team that felt like some kind of mutual romantic/sexual attraction. We even made a plan to trick other people we knew into thinking that we were dating 'as a joke'. I believe that she is openly bi now.
Lesbian swimmers stay deeeeppp in the closet.
Source: was lesbian swimmer.
More so than other sports? Do you have any hypotheses why?
I can't speak to other sports as I wasn't nearly as serious in others (gymnastics, briefly, later cross country). But I do think with swimming that there's a particular thing happening with the visibility of one's body. Bathing suits don't hide much, and you're seeing much of your peers' bodies in training for 2 to 4+ hours a day. The nature of changing in and out of those suits and showering means swimming locker rooms are more nude than a lot of other sports. So if you're by nature sapphic, you want to be extra super careful to guard your gaze, and very much not be seeing as perving on your teammates. At least that was (in retrospect) my experience.
I did Taekwondo for a while and there was another woman I strongly suspected was a lesbian, but I could never confirm it.
At my high school, most of the girls involved in team sports like soccer tended to be "preppy" and dating sporty guys, so I never had that association of sportiness with gayness. But my experience obviously isn't universal.
I had the same experience with the girls on sports teams being preppy and not having that association. Then again, I was on the outside looking in so who knows what was really going on!
Very true!! With high school sports being such a social status/popularity thing, it probably just tends to attract more of those types. That, and it creates a cliquey scene where I'm sure there's a lot of pressure to conform to that "perfect" image. I wouldn't be surprised if most women in high school sports simply decide to stay closeted because coming out could lead to bullying and hazing from teammates.
Intramural sports and amateur/community leagues seem to have a much more chill atmosphere since no one is in it for the clout. Obviously I'm viewing this as an outsider but I wouldn't be surprised if there were more openly gay women in those spaces compared to hs sports.
Some weekend basketball and soccer in...elementary school? I developed a bit of an anti-sport bias around puberty because of body discomfort, it feeling pointless to even try at team sports in co-ed gym classes, and because people kept telling me I was the "smart one" so I thought I could ignore anything to do with the body, pretty much. I do regret that now.
I don't do sports, but I've started going to the gym regularly a few months ago, and focusing on gains. I don't see straight girls trying to build upper body strength often lol
Yeah i swam in highschool. Several of them came out later. It was okay, except i felt a bit... strange that my friend lent my suit to another girl in the team who was like a lot bigger than me. Still it's really gross, especially since the suits just stay in the locker and aren't really washed all the time.
In my mid 20s, I went on a couple of dates with a woman, and maybe a month later i saw her at my gym. I was getting out of my bathing suit and felt self-conscious. So, i turned around to change, and by the time i was done she was gone. 🤷🏽♀️
You might be interested in the work of the Kite sisters with their mantra “my body is an instrument, not an ornament.” They talk a lot about how sports can be a protective factor for girls in regards to body image and can be a source of resilience and confidence. That’s what softball was for me. It made me feel capable, strong, and good at something. There was a sense of accomplishment as well as fulfillment just because it was fun. It also helped me build friendships with other girls when I probably would have been pretty isolated otherwise. Softball usually has quite a few GNC girls so I learned that girls are not a monolith and it mitigated my “not like other girls” phase. Some pretty obvious closeted lesbians but mostly straight girls. I’m a big fan of team sports.
I have noticed a similar effect for my daughter who is typically very high strung and anxious. She played softball last year and she made a lot of progress in developing her skills. It really helped with her confidence in herself and showed her even if she isn’t good at something right away, she can develop her skills by working hard and putting the time in. She developed more resilience when things don’t go her way. It also helped her learn to take feedback constructively as well without being completely demolished. I’m hoping if she sticks with it and the world isn’t taken over by TIMs in the next few years it could provide her some scholarship opportunities as well as an avenue for lifelong recreation.
That said, some sports organizations and coaches are destructive so parents need to be mindful of this. I think dance is pretty damaging actually because of the heavy focus on appearance.