Hi mods, I'm posting this here because I recently started therapy due to distress caused by me being bisexual. If this post is not allowed, please let me know.

Some background, I am bi, and I've known for sure since I was about 13. I tried to tell my parents when I was 16, and confident it wasn't a phase, and it went very badly. I ended up marrying a man that I love very much. But this gave my parents ammunition that "it was a phase". I'm now in my late 30s.

My mom has been saying offhand homophobic things to me recently and it was bothering me so much that I decided to talk to a professional. I always believed talk therapy was a good thing, even though I never tried it for myself. So I mustered up the courage to see a therapist for the first time.

I tell the woman my story, and explain that I need help working through my tough relationship with my parents, and maybe learn some coping mechanisms for any future nasty things that may arise.

The therapist, a woman in her early 60s, says to me "...are you sure you're bisexual? You could use a different word to describe yourself, you know. Gender and sexualityare a spectrum, and maybe callingyourself a different word would be helpful."

I was so shocked. Alarm bells were ringing in my head. I told her that yes, I am sexually attracted to males and females, and that is the definition of bisexual. She shrugs it off and keeps asking me some questions.

She asks if I have fantasies about women when I masturbate (like an idiot I told her yes). She responds "I don't think that males you bisexual. I think that's pretty common for most women".

What??? No straight woman I know has ever said anything about wanting to have sex with another woman. They might find them beautiful or attractive, but they never go any further than that.

She continues by asking me if I've ever had sex with a woman (No), if I've ever been on a date with a woman (yes), and maybe my Distress is actually caused by the fact that I've never had sex with a woman?

Again, I am flabbergasted. I wonder if I'm in Bizzaro World or something. I told her I am married, happily, and that I would never consider cheating on my husband.

She replies "Well, what if you had his permission to have sex with someone outside your marriage? Then it wouldn't be cheating."

I swear I wish I was making this up. I start to get nervous and repeat that I think any sexual activity with someone other than my husband is cheating.

She continues on her mission to get me laid by saying "I'm sure your husband wouldn't mind bringing another woman into the bedroom, together with you. You could explore your bisexuality as a threesome. Maybe that's a possibility?"

At this point I feel like I'm on a hidden camera prank show. This woman is making very sexually suggestive comments to me and I'm on the verge of tears. I tell her no, this would never be something I am comfortable with.

She finally gets the hint and we move on. Near the end of the agonizing hour, she mentions that she understands how hard it can be to come to terms with these topics because she "has a trans son".

I realize now that this woman is not going to be helpful at all. My instincts at the beginning of the session were right. She revealed herself as a TRA and was hyper-focused on my sex life.

I called the office yhe next day and told the receptionist that I did not want to see that woman again. I didn't want to be a narc so I just told the receptionist that I didn't vibe with the therapist.

The next week, when my previously scheduled appointment was happening, the therapist called me and asked if I was coming in. I was driving with my daughters and didn't want to talk to her, so I quickly explained that I canceled all the future appointments. The therapist asked me why.

I stumbled over my words and said I didn't feel like I was viking with her and just wanted to try a different therapist. She asked for more details, and I ended the call.

The next day, I called the office and asked to speak to the director. I told the director what this therapist said in my session last week, how uncomfortable I was, and how disappointed I was that my cancelation wasn't recorded, leading the therapist to pressure me into answering her unprofessional questions. The director agreed with me and she said she would make me a priority for a new therapist.

I am happy to say that my new therapist is great, and I'vebeen seeing him for about 2 months now. He immediately recognized that my problem was with my family relationships, not my sexuality. He has never made any inappropriate comments.

I just can't get over how weird the woman therapist was. I can laugh about it now, but in the moment I was terrified. She was borderline conversion-therapy for a hot second. And I live in a very blue New England state, where affirmation is king.

My husband pointed out, after that session, that she was saying some very biphobic things, like how I should totally cheat on my husband, or have a threesome and be comfortable with it. Also, she didn't believe me when I said I was bisexual, but she believes her daughter magically became her son? Some pretty twisted logic there.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my Bad Therapy story. It was hilarious that for years, I'd been telling my husband to go back to therapy because it would help. Then my very first session was a dumpster fire 🤣