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I hear this shit all the time, and I can’t help but to think of it as homophobic in nature. Like what do they even mean? One day you are homosexual and then you become bisexual or straight? That literally goes against the whole “we are born this way” “convertion therapy doesn’t works since sexuality is set in stone”

In my own experience my bisexual attraction can be described as a bit “fluid” some times I’m super into women and other times I can’t get men out of my head. However my sexuality always stays the same, bisexual. It’s really just my preferences that shift back and forth and a sexuality is hardly a preference.

So what are your opinions on this? To me the statement “sexuality is fluid” sounds like convertion therapy wrapped in woke language, or perhaps I misunderstand what they mean by it?

I hear this shit all the time, and I can’t help but to think of it as homophobic in nature. Like what do they even mean? One day you are homosexual and then you become bisexual or straight? That literally goes against the whole “we are born this way” “convertion therapy doesn’t works since sexuality is set in stone” In my own experience my bisexual attraction can be described as a bit “fluid” some times I’m super into women and other times I can’t get men out of my head. However my sexuality always stays the same, bisexual. It’s really just my preferences that shift back and forth and a sexuality is hardly a preference. So what are your opinions on this? To me the statement “sexuality is fluid” sounds like convertion therapy wrapped in woke language, or perhaps I misunderstand what they mean by it?

14 comments

What they say: Sexuality is fluid

What they mean: Your sexuality must be just fluid enough to include me

Yeah I agree on that. It really seems to be a common talking point among TRA’s, I started to hear it more and more ever since gender ideology took over. However I do think some people who say it doesn’t have nefarious intentions like “fuck me or be a bigot”. I have a male friend who always have said he was straight, but as it turns out he do in fact have some sexual attraction towards males. We were talking and the term “femboy” came up (one of our newer friends is a very feminine gay man, hyper GNC but not in a agp way (he is gender critical too) all around have both female looking features and feminine fashion) well my supposed straight friend claimed that our new friend was attractive to him, and he said he even could sleep with a guy that look like that. Even still he claimed to be heterosexual…. I pointed that out that our gay friend is a man regardless of his effeminate looks therefore if a man is attracted to him he wouldn’t be straight. Basically his argument is that all straight men are like that, their attraction is fluid, and honestly, I don’t think he means it in a homophobic/ biphobic way, I just think he doesn’t realise that even if 99% of those you are attracted to are women and 1% are men that is still bisexuality, bisexuality doesn’t have to be 50/50. I guess him growing up in Russia and not learning of bisexuality until he met me could be part of the reason. Also maybe a bit of internalised homophobia, although I’ve never ever heard him say anything bigoted towards gay people, and he doesn’t seem to mind them at all.

While I think a majority of those who claim “sexuality is fluid” are just seeking to violate boundaries, there still are a small percentage who are just confused bisexuals with heavy preferences for one sex.

The only purpose of pushing that belief is to get all women to take dick and to please dick owners. Men tell lesbians their sexuality is "fluid" so the lesbians can be coerced into being with men. Some het and bi women tell lesbians their sexuality is "fluid" - should be fluid - because of lesbophobia. Het women are (much more rarely) told their sexuality is "fluid" so the men they are with can coerce them into threesomes (always one man and two women, of course). "Fluid" sexuality is only ever about men and their dicks.

It's really common to tell het women that women naturally have more fluid sexuality so that we are willing to have threeways and kiss in front of men etc. Yet I am pretty sure that in sexually segregated societies, boarding schools, etc men are/were buggering each other left right and centre - but nobody is all "men are sooo fluid in their sexuality, you should totally suck your mate's dick it would be so hot".

IMO it's what straight people say when they're trying to convince everyone they're "queer."

"Noo I'm not a straight man, I'm totally queer! What do you mean my 'husband' is a woman? She's a transman! I mean he! He is a transman. And I'm totally queer, I love his 'male vulva.' I mean I've always said I was straight until now but you know, sexuality is fluid!!"

I find most people who say this are in denial about being bisexual, and assume everyone else is just like them. Usually they are straight identifying women who are actually heteroflexible, but I think it can come from lesbian identifying women who are actually homoflexible too.

Where is the line between heteroflexible and bisexual?

[–] MissMilotic 1 points Edited

I consider heteroflexible/homoflexible labels to fall under the bisexual umbrella technically. That said, most people who identify as bisexual publicly are somewhere in the middle, more like 50/50 or 40/60. People who identify as heteroflexible or homoflexible are likely to be Kinsey 5 or Kinsey 1, so more like 90/10.

It's kind of an oxymoronic way to keep pidgeonholing everyone into their labelling schemes, in my view

It's normal to question or reaffirm one's feelings regarding attraction as one has new romantic experiences- especially if your experience isn't the 'norm', however you may see it

However this does not mean everyone experiences this in the same way nor do they come to the same conclusions

Ultimately it comes off as a way to assuage anxiety over sexuality on the surface, but in practice it's used as a cudgel to push others into experiences they feel uncertain about. They create this false sense of urgency over picking a label and try to normalize 'trying everything' to know what you like. Ironically I can also see it as a form of bi erasure- if everybody is bi nobody is

When it comes down to it you really can't help who you're attracted to- but you sure as hell can push yourself into unwanted relationships when you're mired in anxiety over what it says about you as a person. Gay, straight, bi etc. have become personality traits as much as they are sexualities in those communities & how you appear to others in those groups is partially determined by your sexuality now.

These are just my personal opinions on the topic as they came into my mind however & I welcome differing views!

I don't like the term "fluid" and I think people who feel that way should just call themselves bi.

However, I do think it is distinct from conversation therapy, in that it's intrinsic and not extrinsic. Major difference between someone feeling a certain way, and people trying to gaslight that person into feeling a certain way.

I feel like i'm 75% straight and 25% lesbian, which makes me bi. I've never been in love with a woman (which is why I thought I was straight) but women are beautiful and awesome and damn I want me a gf sometimes. I was born this way. Nothing changed about my sexuality but my perception of it. If my sexuality was fluid, my attraction to women would have vanished after my straight relationships or after learning what trans is, it would include those people. Nope, I like my women with breasts and vulvas and my men with penises.

Idk, I feel like my sexuality has been pretty fluid. I came out as bisexual shortly after high school even though I figured it out in high school. Since then I’ve had long term relationships with men and women, though mostly men because there are just more of them.

I haven’t found a man attractive in about a decade, including the one I married. I just was not sexually attracted to him and once I gave up on getting pregnant, my desire for men dropped off a cliff.

I have two suspicions. I have no idea which one is true or if it’s a third reason or some combination. The first is that I’ve always been more attracted to women than men and that’s become more apparent with age. The second is that I truly am bisexual and when my body started leaving childbearing years and the urge to reproduce dissipated, my actual sexual attraction changed.

I don’t know. I know a lot of women like me will call themselves late blooming lesbians and I can see it, but I have some trouble reconciling that with some early opposite sex relationships I’ve had. Did my orientation change? Was it always there and I didn’t notice? Did my preferences change?

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what other people want to label me as. My first ever kiss was with a girl. I 100% had crushes on girls before I admitted it. I’ve had romantic and sexual relationships with women. I’ve had long term relationships with women. I don’t question my attraction for them and that should be enough for the women I choose to date now and in the future.

It’s usually not though. 🤣