The ratio of “cis” women to trans women, nonbinary people, and trans men on lesbian dating apps is so so absurdly low. It truly breaks my heart. And reporting does nothing to help this.

Putting aside trans women for a moment, I don’t understand how an app called “HER” designed for women who are attracted to other women has so many nb and trans men. If you’re trying to be woke and inclusive by claiming womanhood just means identifying as a woman, why are you even allowing trans men and nonbinary people in?Isn’t it _transphobic for these apps to see trans men and nonbinary people as women?

I’ve seen so many bearded fully grown men in their thirties and forties going by he/him and/or they/them pronouns while proudly calling themselves nonbinary lesbians on dating apps and it makes me sick. I can’t imagine even the super woke trans people and allies could be attracted to someone like that unless they’re already attracted to men. There’s absolutely nothing in common between a woman and a non-binary-identifying man. They’re not women by their OWN account, so why are there so fucking many sending me friend requests and super likes and all that garbage when I say explicitly in my profile that I’m only interested in women? Does it get their rocks off knowing they can get away with hitting on someone half their age with no interest in them so long as they appropriate the term lesbian first? It’s like they know they don’t even have to pretend to be transitioning, they don’t have to identify as women or even change their pronouns from He/him to something else, all they have to do is identify as lesbians and magically, they are apparently.

On another note that also frustrates me, why do some trans men feel entitled to female spaces, like our dating apps, when they’ve already self-excluded out of them? I just don’t understand the logic - if you want to be recognized as a man and validated, why are you even on a lesbian dating app? I know lesbians who’ve matched with people like this on LESBIAN dating apps before and are then told by these trans men that they can’t identify as a lesbians anymore once they start dating, so what’s the fucking point? It would be so fucking absurd for cis straight men to go on dating apps in an attempt to seduce gay women and get them to give up their identity - why is is suddenly OK when it’s a trans man? If trans men are men, surely this should be regarded as just as disgusting and unacceptable. But no. Female spaces have just become non-cis-male spaces, so any flavor of trans person is welcome, regardless of whether their inclusion even makes sense in the framework of trans logic.