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500 days of summer (spoilers)
I just watched this movie and may I say I cannot belieeeve the amount of men who told me that "Summer is such a bitch" "he deserved better" "he should've never removed his headphones in the elevator".
I went through reviews on letterboxd and they are all overwhelmingly defending Summer, but if you scroll back to a couple years ago you're going to find all of the bitter men talking about how Tom is sUcH a nIcE guY, and that Summer is a bitch and she's too insufferable because... because why ?
Honestly I think they're mad for the following reason : Tom, despite being a "perfect" boyfriend in their eyes (disregard his few misogynistic lines here and there), did not get rewarded with the hot quirky popular girlfriend who happens to love everything he does. He did "nothing" wrong, but she still refused to fall head over heels for him. Instead, she dumped him and then had the audacity to get married before he even had a chance to get over her. I love this movie because it forces men to understand that women are actually people. You can't just push a bunch of buttons and have a long lasting and happy relationship. She doesn't have to fall in love with you just because you did. Life is not a Hollywood movie where the guy gets "the chick" at the end every time. They are mad because Summer was not crying, apologetic, or begging Tom for forgiveness. She was okay with him, then she bounced, and became even happier, and that was all there was. There was nothing Tom could say or do to "control" her back into a relationship from the start, and they know it.
It's just wild to me that a movie made in 2009 had such a good depiction of the nice guy trope, and such a good breakdown of it. The ending where Tom asks a girl out, leaving us hopeless romantics hoping for more, and she first says "no sorry" is in my opinion really good, because Tom just smiling and walking out shows he has matured and learned that it's life, rejection happens and it's not necessarily someone's fault. Him liking a girl doesn't mean she's fated to him.
The movie held Tom accountable every step of the way and that's what I love the most about it. Let me know what you thought of it !
When I worked at doggy daycare we referred to the tiny and/or very young dogs as “the littles”, and a coworker said “I know some people find the word uncomfortable but I don’t care”. I was confused and asked her why someone would be uncomfortable with that word, and she said “well cuz apparently that’s the word often used by pedos.”
You learn something new every day…
I deadass saw a sign in my city for this group that had a big sign in their window that said, "Bring your littles!" in the way of "children are welcome" but it just made me so grossed out. The word has become so normalized.
It sounds kinda cute applied to dogs. I had never heard about the latter thing, that is awful.
I always liked how Penn Jilette never says "kids," always "children". I choose to emulate that. I think it emphasizes their innocence and need for protection. They're not small adults, they're not baby goats, they're vulnerable people who need to be treated with care.
I do occasionally call teeny tiny adorable children 'kidlets', though.
Guess what, in the BDSM community there's a 'daddy dom/little girl' (DDLG) kink, and the submissive women are often referred to as 'littles'. 🤮
I'm a kink friendly person but the DDLG folks completely smack of pedo vibes and make me want to vomit tbh.
Yup. Exactly.
The really disturbing thing about it is autopedophilic TIMs and the BDSM crowd are often perverting actual therapeutic concepts. Age regression is recognized in psychology as a defense mechanism or positive place that trauma victims (usually female sexual assault survivors) experience.
I will use it to distinguish groups of kids “Ok I will take the littles to the new Disney film and you take the bigs to the pg13 one”
Only p3d0s call them that
I've seen way more women call their own kids that and so far no men, it's become weirdly popular in the mom groups around me.
I thought so too but then saw women referring to their kids like that... "Artist Name lives in deep nowhere with dogs, cats, a husband and four littles" stuff like that.
Are we sure said artist was not referring to fairies, elfs, dwarves or other small magical persons?
I assumed it grew out of the blogosphere? Mothers giving a cutesy but anonymous names to their children to keep a chatty feel to the posts. It don't like the term anyway.
I've not heard that term used for actual children. It's stuck solely in the "fetish terminology" category for me.
I've heard "little ones" but that seems fairly common lingo?
I dislike it because it reminds me of the most annoying types of mommybloggers, who love to (or at least used to love) call their children "littles."
More recently I learned about "littles" being used in the pedo and fetish communities and just, no.
This is possibly an exaggerated statement but every time I’ve heard the term “little(s)” come out of a living, breathing parent’s mouth a bunch of Munchausens by proxy spills out afterwards. It’s like a personality cork that pulls all the weird stuff out of them.
I use that term all the time. I think it's cute. I honestly have no idea why it's creepy...like what do you all know I don't?
The kink community uses it to refer to people who pretend to be children during sexual activities.
So, some people who experience trauma age regress. I actually sometimes experience this I think (or maybe I just have more of an active inner child), but it's when you "feel" younger than you are, and often this results in childlike behaviors and mannerisms. Your thoughts, emotions, and behavior revert to some earlier stage in your development. This is a real psychological experience and it's considered a defense mechanism of a sort, and there are forms of therapy focused on exploring it. "When you were little" or "when I was little" you can imagine are common phrases that might be said between a therapist and a client when describing this psychological state.
Well, some other people also have pedophilic fetishes and like to larp as children for sexual gratification, or they may genuinely age regress but it goes hand in hand with their autopedophilic fetish. This is anecdotal but there seems to be an unsurprising amount of autopedophilics who are TIMs. Sometimes it goes hand in hand with a diaper fetish, etc.
So I'm not exactly sure if "Littles" emerged from harmless therapy lingo and the autopedophiles colonized it into something perverted, or if the autopedophiles coined the word "Little" and pervert concepts in age regression therapy, but essentially now I really hate the term because I associate it more with autopedophiles. Sometimes "Little" is also a term used in BDSM for certain "submissives" though I'm not sure of the details on that or to what extent. I learned all of this in scrolling through the online social spheres of TIPs on Tumblr and Reddit and also somewhat first hand experiencing it at larger TQ+ events like Pride.
Yes. I hate it regardless of its fetish component anyway and now that I know about the fetish I am even more creeped out.
No. When I was a kid I called my younger sister & cousin littles. They thought it was funny and made up a silly song about being littles. It was adorable.
Yes. But I also dislike "kids". They are children. Kids are juvenile goats.
Every time I hear it I’m reminded of that big/little fetish and it’s quite uncomfortable.
I like "smalls."
To me that is underwear, as in smallclothes. But at least it doesn’t give pedo vibes.
I'm not a huge fan of kiddos, littles, younglings, crotch goblins/fruit, spawn, etc. Children is fine. We already have a slang term in English: kids. As in, "I can't manage any extra terms, I have too many kids."
I know lots of people use them to be cute or fun (or derisive) and I won't fight anyone over it, but its a thumbs down from me.
I don't mind the word "kiddo" but "crotch goblins" is gross wtf
Crotch fruit, crotch goblins, is unfortunately common in childfree communities, like r/childfree. Along with calling parents "breeders." I don't like any of this dehumanizing language, despite being childfree myself. Childfree ≠ "I hate children."
I generally steer clear of childfree communities for that reason. I'm child-free and don't care for children but they're human beings as are the women who created/gestated and delivered them.
I know many child free people and couples. Most are people who realize how expensive it is and how hard it is to do it right anymore with both parents needing to work and all the stress children are under today and they choose not to because they don't feel they would be the parent a child deserves. Some don't want the responsibility and want to not worry about someone else but refuse to have kids and just be a selfish jerk of a parent. I'm completely on board with that.
I don’t have kids for the above reasons and more—and that’s good thing. I call myself childless, not childfree. Childfree has such overtones of moral superiority and hatred for children.
I’ve weirdly seen it used by parents too. I saw a “crotch goblins on board” bumper sticker the other day.
I also know some pregnant women have called their children "parasites", especially while the child was in the womb.
Idk, just personally, I don't think it's nice. I'm obviously not demanding anyone stop, but it's dehumanizing language, no matter who says it or why.
I feel like it's to seem "cool" or something? Like "oh I'm not one of those LAME parents who is sweet to their children." I have no idea, I don't get it.
I had hyperemesis gravidarum during my pregnancies and god those little foetuses absolutely 100% felt like parasites. I was throwing up 7 times a day, unable to get out of bed. I felt like I was dying. I can see why some women would call them that lol
I think especially before the first trimester is passed, it seems a bit unreal to conceptualise an embryo as a baby so maybe its a bit of cognitive dissonance on the part of the pregnant woman. Also, with the higher rate of miscarriage in early stages, maybe it helps to not get overly attached.
I do think it can be said jokingly - kids outside the womb can be lil parasites when they insist on stopping at Claire's every time they pass the store!
Agreed! 🤮 it’s so degrading to both the child and mother too
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