9 comments

Vouivre_in_meOctober 26, 2024(Edited October 26, 2024)

Because, you know, keeping that category just for the coverage of the trial wasn't possible. Of course, someone had to throw in an article about sex being good. The "I don't feel like a piece of meat" part in the title, I understand it like gaslighting towards Gisèle and all women who have suffered the same kind of sexual violence. Yes, you are a piece of meat, but if you choose free sex (in whatever form), you won't feel like it anymore. The barely blurred image of what you look like when you are not a piece of meat is just chef's kiss.

This is an example of the forces at play in France right now, trying to protect men's interest.

ErhanneOctober 26, 2024

The title and image are poorly chosen, but from what I can read, it is related to the process: many of the rapists claim in their defence that this was an instance of "free sex", where couples exchange partners or do threesomes. So people who are legit into "free sex" are indignated, because they say they are very into verifying consent. Idk how it really is in these sex clubs but they are culturally significant, so hopefully they are based on mutual consent.

VestalVirginOctober 26, 2024(Edited October 26, 2024)

I increasingly get the impression that the "free sex" crowd do not really understand consent.

Now, I rarely talk to such people in real life, but ... consider this:

There's a video game where there's an option to have a foursome with the PC's NPC love interest and two prostitutes (no, it isn't officially a sex game, even if it sounds like it). Due to what is probably faulty programming, one NPC asks to join in, even if the player has previously turned him down when he asked for a "poly" relationship.

And you wouldn't believe how angry especially male players get about this, whining that this character does not respect consent, that he is "hitting on my girl" et cetera ... all the while they themselves happily go to a brothel and expect their love interest to participate in a foursome even though she never indicated that she might be okay with that sort of thing.

What is NOT down to bugs in this game is the fact that the "poly" character who is (allegedly) all about respecting consent happily goes to a brothel.

So yeah.

And as for real life, the only man I have ever talked to about his proclivity for open relationships happily admitted to watching porn.

So yeah. I never met a single "free sex" enthusiast who had good boundaries and really cared about consent. While it would be nice if they existed, I am not convinced that this is the case.

It kinda is like with BDSM; people claim that Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good representation of "real" BDSM, and that they're all about consent, et cetera ... but in a world where a woman cannot trust that a man she has "normal" sex with (as in, nothing more violent or degrading than PIV) will respect her boundaries, I highly doubt a man will respect the boundaries of a woman who allows him to tie her up and hit her. She will find it very hard to prove any violation of consent, and if there's anything I know about men, it is that they take advantage when there's no way to prove their violations.

(I am way more in favour of tying the man up; he cannot pull shit like "surprise anal" or pulling off the condom if his hands are tied behind his back, so there is that. But I doubt that that's how BDSM looks in real life, most of the time.)

somegenerichandle [OP]October 26, 2024

From what i read of the article, it's subscriber-locked, it is a lot like bdsm people claiming they are all about consent.

“In libertinism, the woman is not half dead. She is aware of what is happening, the man is respectful. In the Mazan rape trial, Gisèle Pelicot was drugged, completely unconscious!” This Saturday evening in October, Ligeia (1), a 24-year-old philosophy student with impeccable black liner, came to a libertine club in Toulouse with her boyfriend. “It’s always her who decides,” adds her partner, Ludo, a 29-year-old intermittent worker.

https://www.liberation.fr/lifestyle/intimites/libertinage-et-consentement-a-lheure-du-proces-de-mazan-ici-je-ne-me-sens-plus-comme-un-bout-de-steak-20241025_7HUR6VSZXVEPJPOWBYBDI2SGZM/

takshakOctober 26, 2024

"intermittent worker" = unemployed parasite

Vouivre_in_meOctober 26, 2024

Are you saying that, in the middle of the category of articles covering Gisèle's case, it was of the utmost importance to soothe the feelings of "free sexers", who may feel offended ?

ErhanneOctober 26, 2024

My guess is that the author of the article is one of them, and this is a libfem approach to sexual violence. Reeks of notallmen...

VestalVirginOctober 26, 2024(Edited October 26, 2024)

Yeah, that's my impression, too. "Daily reminder, Not All Men, this case is horrible but you still should have sex with men!"

Which is even more insulting than using the case for a "Daily reminder, this is why we don't marry men" message.

AmareldysOctober 26, 2024

They met on a site called “without her consent”