Getting banned from Reddit was a spiteful attack on women’s speech. Our numbers were growing and the clamor of women's voices began to emerge above the din of patriarchal dogma. Despite being sniped at and silenced, women were collectively rising up - one by one, dozen by dozen, then by the thousands - to resist (as we always do and always will), refusing to be silenced. And then the lead hammer dropped across our tongues and threatened to poison us with impermanence.

When we showed them we were Ovarit we gave ourselves a voice that would not be quieted. A voice that was raw; rasping from the number of times we’d tried to make ourselves heard. We were chafed by all the places we’d been banned. We were burning with rage from learning about the Great Erasure that happened to us, and to our sisters, across our entire history.

So I understand why there is such pain, so much anger, so many years of struggle unfurling when we delete your comments or posts, and when we are forced to ban users. Especially the messages from the ones we love to hear from.

And I also empathize with the bitterness of seeing something you disagree with remaining on site - something you find contemptuous, awful, or twisted.

We’ve spent so long being forced to endure injustice around our speech - women’s voices have been restricted, bound by propriety and nicety - that it is difficult to navigate that voice once we finally start speaking. And sometimes it’s unbearably hard to stop - or stop each other - even when we should.

We’re thrilled to see women starting discussions on Ovarit that are more radical, more controversial, and more women-centered than most social media websites would tolerate. And the brilliance of this community is that most conversations - despite being difficult, painful, full of conflict, contradiction, or controversy - have been held with respect and compassion. Every day I come onto this site and find incredible, thoughtful women touching each other with empathy and joy and understanding and curiosity - even when they disagree. I see jokes and camaraderie, companionship and sisterhood. Women’s causes are shared, solidarity grows, and collectively we change the world for the better.

That’s what Ovarit is about.

Ovarit isn’t like Reddit, even though we came from there. We don’t let simply anyone make or moderate circles, and we don’t permit the type of toxic comments or content Reddit allows. We don’t allow back and forth attacks like Twitter or Tumblr. We don’t permit users to follow other users around circles just to bring up disagreements nor do we sort users into echo chambers like Facebook. We never ignore reports, we’re keen to remove trolls, and we delete drama as soon as it’s detected. Simply put: our culture is different here.

We’re not trying to wound you. We’re not asking for docility. We’re trying to create a community where people talk to each other like human beings. It’s infused throughout our sitewide rules and guidelines. For example:

Be decent to one another

This site exists to uplift women. Treat each other with basic courtesy and respect. Don’t escalate disagreements into fights. Debate ideas, don’t insult or personally attack members. There are many ways to miscommunicate through text-based mediums, so give others the benefit of the doubt when possible. Avoid treating people worse than you would in a face-to-face conversation. Remember that there is a person behind the words.

We don't want to silence your voice. So here are the most common reasons for deletions:

• There’s a slur (particularly misogynistic slurs or slurs against trans people, including inventing new slurs)

• Attacking the user rather than the idea. This includes bringing up prior disagreements from other posts/circles and other media platforms

• Breaking a posting/formatting rule, such as editorializing a title or posting in the wrong circle

It’s really unfortunate when someone takes the time to write a long and/or thoughtful comment or post and then includes something that breaks a rule or attacks someone. It’s especially unfortunate when insightful radical feminist content gets removed along with the rule breaking content.

We’re happy to explain more in modmail if you ever have questions - including before you post!

The way you treat people here (and that includes our volunteer moderators) plays a big role in negotiating disputes. Lashing out in modmail about a deleted comment is a good way to get a temp or permanent circle or site ban. Lashing out across multiple circles, making a bunch of videos and posts on other platforms about how much Ovarit sucks, and making threats about the end of feminism/sisterhood is a very good way to get a site ban. And we’re not sorry about it. It's not about banning radical speech or radical feminists - it's about banning toxic behavior: the kind that breaks the bonds of sisterhood. No one should have to tolerate and absorb abusive behavior, including the volunteers who make this project possible. Being abusive to other women isn’t genuine constructive criticism, it isn’t helpful, and it has never made the feminist movement better.

In this era of instant reactions, downvotes, emojis, and impulsivity, what if we didn’t just react and respond, but stopped to ponder, wonder, contemplate, and imagine?

What if we took a breath before smashing submit, upload, or send - and thought about the face on the other side of the screen, reading our messages for the first time?

I once commented in another thread:

We are a women-owned, women-run site. We can make this a Women's culture, a place for consciousness raising and companionship and camaraderie with the underlying goal of liberation. The question then becomes - what does that look like? What do we need to do with each other to bring the dream into fruition?

What do you think?

To our sincere radical sisters, those of you who are no longer here whether by choice or removal:

I wish you well. I wish you love. I wish you liberation!

I hope this wound doesn’t break your spirit and you keep using your voice for the class of women everywhere, even those of us who used to be your best friends whom you don’t want anything to do with anymore.

I hope we can talk again someday, and reunite as sisters do.

💜 Ruby