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[–] notapatsy 194 points Edited

Too funny. I wonder if said "clueless" old lady did it deliberately. I (68) do. There's a TIM at the natural foods grocery where I buy a few things I can't get elsewhere (otherwise shopping there is too expensive). I said to him, after he rang me up, "Thanks. And I'd just like to tell you that I think it's great that men can express themselves however they like, now!" Then I walked out with my groceries.

I'm sure he went home fuming and cursing the clueless old lady.

Edited to correct some typos.

I love this. Perfect comment. Supportive on the surface, but truly undermining the shit show. Classic genteel insult.

And if he were just a gender non-conforming dude who is always mistaken for a TIM, it would have made him happy.

Kinda like having a water gun filled with holy water ... you can just use it on everyone and only hurt the vampires.

I’m tucking these away to pull out at an opportune moment!

”I’d just like to tell you that I think it's great that men can express themselves however they like, now!"

“I know someone with that name but she is a girl”

My sides.😁

As older women, we can get away with a few well-placed comments, said with a warm smile, so very nicely and with no apparent malice.

Zing!

I suppose we do ending up supporting the idea that older people are out of touch, but in this case I'm willing to risk it.

When it comes to the gender wars, I’m not above using ageism to plant seeds of doubt or knowledge in the genderists.

Most of the TRAS hate and put down older women that may be second wave. They already know that we see the entire gender movement as detrimental for women. Their phony “gender instead of sex” may work on younger people but they know it doesn’t work on us.

TRAs are racist, sexist, ableist, and ageist. I don't mind weaponizing their hate against them.

Older people give no further shits. What you see is what you get.

And people forget today's 70-somethings invented the sexual revolution and went to Woodstock and shit.

OMG. There's an over the top TiM at my Whole Paycheck, too. While I have avoided in-person shopping for awhile now, I'm totally stealing your and the lady's line! I'm just on the cusp of Crone, might as well make an entrance - I've had enough of the misogyny in STEM, I don't need more when getting bell peppers.

I wonder if Whole Foods is one of those corporations that makes it a point of paying for their hormones or something.(While of course not offering maternity leave or anything like that) I think Starbucks is in that category

Yeah, in the past they used to give benefits to same sex couples in states where it wasn't required, so I sure they did the alphabet soup transition to... Transitions. Not sure how much has changed with Amazon buying them, as Amazon is a pro trans company too.

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“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

Laughing at a man is the best defense. Keep at it, ladies!

[–] MenHaveItEasy Moid Respecter 27 points

"I could've shot myself"

These clowns are so over dramatic.

Guess what, bro? Everyone at the store knows you're a man and a joke.

Exactly. It’s always “JKR is creating our apocalypse” and “I can’t leave the house because I got misgendered, why even live anymore” and “someone st work called me Sir, I can’t stop crying and screaming, I want to die.”

Like…dude.

To me, the worst people in my life were the overdramatic ones, who constantly begged for attention and sympathy by playing up how they’d been “wronged.” Narcissistic trait, of course. When they weren’t just outright maki by shit up, they were describing minor incidents as being akin to blue murder. Innocent mistakes were always personal jabs, and getting the bird after they cut someone off would send them into a frenzy.

This is a very common personality trait among TIP, particularly TIMs. They will describe to you how someone looked at their driver’s license and called them by the name on it instead of by Belinda, and expect you to agree that it was literal violence, to talk them down from their. for lack of a better term, hysterics, and tell them they had every right to be so hurt and their feelings are valid. It’s all a big manipulation game. Emphasize how everything is literally killing you, and maybe people will give you the attention you want.

The problem is that we’re not allowed to see through this. “Misgendering is literal violence” is common even among people who don’t identify as trans. We’re not allowed to point out how dramatic and attention-seeking and manipulative they’re being, we’re just supposed to take them at their word.

People need to learn more about psychology, but from a psychology that isn’t colored by political motives. Learn to recognize histrionics, manipulation, narcissism, attention-seeking, and how to use good judgment.

Everyone knows but you try to beat us up or have us fired if we say anything. Granny was just too old to know what you pigs are about.

Granny’s not getting fired or losing friends over this, granny dgaf

Granny may very well know lol. Somebody who is grandma age today came of age during the 60s and 70s, shit was wild back then.

May we all be that awesome older lady, no matter our age!

Just the facts. Perfection.

Isn't it interesting how reality doesn't go away even with all the coerced language?😉

There's so sensitive. I feel like they should probably just stay home. Seems like they can't handle the outside world.

I’m a not so gender conforming woman and a very similar thing happened to me- but I found it hilarious. I was in training for a sales job (small class of 6 in the training) and on this one day of class the head of sales comes in to teach us not to “crystal ball” the customers. His way of doing this was by showing us how bad we was at guessing who was who. He had an index cards with each of our names on it and he would place them on our desks according to who he thought the name belonged to. This actually should have been a bit easier as one of the guys in the class was out that day for a funeral so he had 6 names and 5 of us. Predictably he made mistakes and swaped several times until he got the person’s name right. I was last in the group to get corrected and he had to decide whether I was Mathew or (my obviously female) name. He picked Mathew (the class was horrified except for me and my girlfriend who were trying not to laugh). When I corrected him he said “see just goes to show you can’t crystal ball. I always thought (my obviously female name) was a girl’s name.” I laugh when I tell this story because I was wearing a pants suit the same as my girlfriend however she has long hair and has much larger and more noticeable breasts than me (her DD and me B) so he based his assumption on me being a Mathew on my hair cut (and possibly smaller breast size). I just find it so funny that people go by hair especially so much in determining which sex they think you are.

I think it’s telling that tips don’t find it funny to be “misgendered”. To me that means they know they aren’t really the “gender” they claim to be.

This continues to mystify me--I've always worn my hair short (and often get it cut at a barber), and am old enough to remember when many if not most women had short haircuts. And, I mean, isn't 'pixie cut' still a thing?

Short hair = boy is very much so a modern Western invention. I am not exactly a historian of hairstyles but I can tell you for sure ancient China and Korea were all about long hair for men and even to this day period dramas featuring long haired men -- that are culturally perceived as "stereotypically masculine" -- are extremely popular. I think most societies, including Western societies, had long hair for men as a norm at one point or another, including currently. It's the default for humans after all (men's hair does not naturally stop growing faster than that of women), and hair quality is also a good indicator of health for both men and women.

I never realised how much I'd internalised 'short hair is masculine' until I moved to central Africa, where almost every woman I met had hair shorter than mine.

Pretty sure I've read somewhere that the name was transphobic, but what isn't these days.

Did you ever get to tell that man that you're a woman? 😂

I don’t even remember if I ever did get to clarify. I know I didn’t at the time because I was trying to not laugh right in his face and I don’t think I really talked to him much after as he wasn’t my direct supervisor

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