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"educate yourself" "listen to transwomen"

...and that's how I got here. From trans ally to gender critical, thanks to loud trans voices like Andrea Long Chu and Grace Lavery being sexist af.

Saaaaame. I was a heavy supporter. After thinking more deeply about trans stuff, I asked questions then was insulted and told "educate yourself"... even after spending countless hours reading about trans issues and lurking forums. I ended up reading GenderCritical to get insight about "the enemy" and I realized my vibes of extreme sexism from MTFs wasn't just transmysogyny or whatever. Other people felt the same way I did. Other people had answers to questions that TRAs wouldn't answer.

Other people had answers to questions that TRAs wouldn't answer

Answers to the really tough questions, too, like "What is a woman?" and "When is it okay to tell women to choke on your girldick?"

Exactly! I've been supportive of a TIM sibling for nearly 20 years. Nobody could answer many of my questions, but I found them directly addressed by the GC community.

[–] suupersami 46 points Edited

Yup. My absolute peak moment was seeing a older TIM trying to bully my preteen cousin into "coming out as trans", but the "if you disagree with anything men in dresses want, you're a bigot!" part of Transgenderism definitely made me more critical of the TRA party line.

A preteen smh!!! These people should be ashamed of themselves. Instead, this is encouraged and seen as support or activism. Disgusting.

Shaming and outcasting creepy men needs to be normalized and celebrated.

Very accurate. I remember one of my very first peak transes was seeing how TIMS treated their allies. TIFS were usually pretty reasonable and still wanted to be feminists; but TIMS would harrass bloggers that talked about how badly trans people where treated, because they where always offended by something.

The TiFs are turning that around, though... Chase Strangio is one such reprehensible woman working as an ACLU mouthpiece and lawyer.

Yep, it used to be "even though i consider myself a guy now; I know what it is like being a woman, and it angers me how men treat women" Now it is, "I was never a woman, you bigot. Pregnancy and childbirth affect men to, and you need to stop being so priviliged." I blame this on a shift of thinking; 20 years ago no one used terms like sex assigned at birth or said that they where never men or women.

For me, it was really shocking to see how this UK minor celebrity Jack Monroe was treated by them. She was a massive trans activist, came out as non binary, took part in high profile TV debates defending trans shit. And then if she stepped out of line in the slightest way she was completely crushed and hounded by TIMs online. I remember her writing this really despairing tweet talking about how shit it feels to be treated this way by her community. And there would be a cycle - she would say something innocuous, get bullied for it, would issue a grovelling apology and rinse and repeat. I checked - she's still at it (she came out as non binary in 2015!) And if this is how her supposed community treats her and other allies, why the fuck would anyone want to be involved with them? Allies, as far as I can see, are just treated like dirt. Nothing is ever good enough.

That is just so maddening. They are like this with Buck Angel too. He wrote an article about how his ex cheated on him with Lana Wachowski in a magazine. Apparently he could have gotten someone killed over this, and it is proof of hating trans people. Literally everything he says and does is wrong, even though he actually has done a lot for their community. I am using he here because I have only seen him as a man, and it feels weird calling him her.

Also, this is incredibly similar to how atheists become atheists. Christians tend to try to "educate" us, when in actuality, we tend to know more about the religion and the Bible than they do, which caused the loss of faith.

the funny thing is that I can imagine a TRA lurker scoffing at the notion that we might know just as much or perhaps even more about the issue as TRAs, but the fact is that many of us have also "questioned our gender"-- they pretend like trans people are epistemologically special when it comes to understanding gender, when they're really not.

I went through a TiF phase. I've questioned my gender identity before, I know what it's like to have the feeling that you're "not the right gender." I just later realized it was a load of bull.

[–] notyourfetish 10 points Edited

This is so true and so hilarious. My homophobic Christian neighbor thought I just didn't know about "the word" and kept trying to give me Bibles to "educate" me.

Meanwhile, I attended a Catholic gradeschool, a Christian high school, and even studied the lost books of the Bible extensively. This was how I came to understand how poorly translated the Bible is, and many books were left out to purposely shape a homophobic, sexist, racist narrative. People follow a book that is deliberately mistranslated to serve an agenda.

I know more tabout the Bible and Christianity than most Christians trying to convert me, and yet they are always in my FACE. I remember about two years ago, I was sitting in social security reading a Buddhist book and this Jehovah's Witness started in on me . . . UGH. I just politely steered the conversation away from religion.

I'll never understand why they think they are 100% right about everything. Even when I was a Christian, I didn't 100% blindly follow the religion, and I don't blindly follow Buddhism. I question Buddhism all the time, and Buddhism itself encourages followers to challenge it. Christianity demands utter submission.

It's just one more way genderism is the new misogynistic cult/religion.

My grandma and most of her family is JW. Jehova's Witnesses don't actually know a lot from the Bible, they use a very badly translated version, and mainly go to their meetings and practice preaching.

She's the most misogynistic woman in the planet, she literally let her daughter get sexually harassed by her own husband because she didn't want to work, because work is reserved to the "the man of the family", she let this happen for years, just to "go to heaven" to be a "good believer", how fucked up is that? My mom grew up to be a tormented person who abused me and my brother physically and mentally (not sexually) and her overall violent behavior made my life really, really hard to navigate. My grandma couldn't care less abou the domino effect she put in motion, she literally thinks that life is not going well for me because I smoke tobacco and that's a sin.

I'm an atheist but if god was real I bet my ass he'd be laughing at my grandma and sending her straight to hell.

I could not ave said this any better whatsoever. You are 100% spot on!!

My religious beliefs collapsed when I finally started reading sources outside of what my cult had approved. It’s exactly the same.

[–] Peachy 32 points Edited

My fight or flight activates every time I see a anime girl/yuri/vtuber obsessed user with she/her and lesbian in their bio. I automatically assume it's a TIM.

Me too. I actually told my daughters to quit using anime/manga in their avatars on their school email account. It is that bad.

[–] Researcher1536 32 points Edited

Accurate. Peak for me was finding out men are put into women's prisons. It was so egregious. I remember where I was and what I was doing when I read an article about a TIM child rapist being put into a women's prison in Canada. I haven't looked back. The world has lost its collective damn mind.

Same here! Except mine was a man in Brazil who went on a show (documentary?) crying about how he was being held in a men's prison and he actually got support and sympathy until the (horrific!) details about why he was in prison came out. At the time my son was the same age as his victim, and it made me so sick to my stomach. More people need to open their eyes and realize this is more common than TRAs want them to believe.

It's amazing that you NEVER hear about these absolutely shocking details, but then once you see one mind blowing and shocking story, you see can't help but see that there's actually a mountain of bullshit surrounding this ideology, and it all snowballs all the way down TERF Lane until you're a fucking proud TERF.

The more you're in it, the more you see it, if I can take a quote from Helen Staniland.

The world has lost its collective damn mind.

You can say that again.

SO frustratingly accurate. I feel shame over the fact that I didn't start out hating these people, it was quite the opposite, but unfortunately, I can't say that anymore. Hate isn't in my nature. I'm still very uncomfortable with some of my feelings regarding these issues. I had to get honest with myself to realize that I do hate them for what they are doing to women and girls and our rights. I feel so conflicted about that, and so much shame.

Would you feel shame over hating any other rapists, paedophiles and murderers? There’s a very high proportion of all three among TIMs, and too many TIFs (and TRAs in general) would sooner protect them than say a word against them.

You are right. I suppose after being called a bigot for so long, I've started to internalize that.

This is the thing, isn’t it - we’re socialised to be Kind and Understanding and it’s ramped up even more with TRAs. It’s a male supremacist movement and this is just one of its weapons.

[–] [Deleted] 10 points Edited

We tend to avoid strong negative emotions, but they are often healthy feedback that shows us where we need to create or enforce boundaries. It’s not the emotion that is “bad”, it’s what we do with it, which can be good or bad.

And women are taught as girls to suppress our hate or anger or fear in order to protect the feelings of men, so we’re taught that we should feel ashamed when we feel those things.

But you said it yourself, they’re destroying women’s rights—plus they are homophobic, and are creating multitudes of injustices (like men in women’s prisons). You don’t dislike them for being trans, you are repulsed by their actions. That’s a very big difference between someone bigoted and you: you’re hatred arises from what they are doing, not necessarily who they are (as evidenced by the fact that you didn’t start out hating them).

"Listen to actual trans people"

K. Friend of mine is trans and hearing her try to rebrand her internalized misogyny as 'my brain is just like a cis guy's' prompted me to look at my own motives for wanting to be a guy. Oh look all of my previous doubts about the validity of transgenderism are confirmed. Oh look I've joined r/GC. Oh look I've joined r/detrans. Oh look I've joined r/LGBDropTheT. Oh look reddit banned spaces that actually helped me and I'm TERFing out HARD.

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