45
You are viewing a single comment thread. Show all comments.
Ave_LucifugeJuly 10, 2023
I don't remember what set off my ick alarm with Hill, but he's skeeved me out for years, and when Jay Baruchel first called him out I felt vindicated. Props to Sarah for having the guts to publicly share what must surely be painful memories; now Jonah can't hide behind his nice, socially anxious schtick anymore.
vulvapeopleJuly 11, 2023
when Jay Baruchel first called him out
Interesting. What did he say?
Ave_LucifugeJuly 11, 2023
I really wish I remembered the exact wording, but it was over a decade ago. There was this more recently, but long story short, it all amounted to Jay not buying into Jonah's nice guy act.
IronicWolfJuly 10, 2023
I hate the men defending this. They seriously have no idea what the difference between boundaries and control is.
A boundary is something you can apply to other people. For example, being called ‘bitch’ is not something I’ll accept, particularly from a man. But I’m not asking somebody to change his whole life or to stop living his normal way. This makes it a boundary.
operaghostJuly 10, 2023
Boundaries are about what you will do in response to other people’s actions: if a man calls me a bitch, I let him know I find that language unacceptable, and I leave. I do not stick around and try to force him to change.
Control is about what you want other people to do, and attempting to make them do what you want, regardless of whether they want it.
ThelnebriatiJuly 10, 2023
Guenther added: "Jonah's use of the term boundaries in this message is a misuse of the concept. A boundary is a healthy limit a person sets for themselves to protect their well-being and integrity. It is a rule or guideline that one creates to identify reasonable safe and permissible ways for others to behave towards them and how they'll respond when someone passes those limits.
"However, in the message Jonah sent to Sarah, he is not setting boundaries that protect his emotional well-being. Instead, he is dictating what behaviors and friendships Sarah is permitted to have.
He's such a troll.
ETA: Jeff Guenther is also a troll.
TheChaliceIsMightierJuly 10, 2023
Oof. Relating hard to the ex-gf right now. Therapy-speak is becoming a real problem; just the latest adaptation men are making to keep manipulating and controlling their partners. One wishes they’d use this adaptability to become better people as a group but noooo…
WanderingUterusJuly 11, 2023
Relationship therapy is pretty much useless with even a slightly manipulative or narcissistic man, nevermind a full blown skilled abuser who can actively turn the therapy against you.
TheChaliceIsMightierJuly 11, 2023
Yeah I insisted on individual or nothing. I had a pretty good idea of how it would go. He still tries to use his own individual therapy to manipulate me.
WitchKittyJuly 11, 2023
I have the belief that you can’t fix men with therapy. Women can improve from it but men? No. That’s why messed up men should just be ignored and kept out from society.
WanderingUterusJuly 13, 2023
I think it's because for therapy to work optimally, the person has to recognize that they have some problems in their lives and some related faults they need to work on, and since females are constantly pressured to better ourselves in every way from a very early age, we naturally tend to do a lot of introspection, self-doubting, and self-criticism, and we tend to feel that making efforts aimed at self-improvement is a worthy cause even if our lives are already pretty good.
With a lot of men, they aren't even capable of taking the basic step of admitting there is a problem in the first place unless it is already having SEVERE, direct impacts on them. When the average woman notices a problem in her life, she reflexively blames herself or at very least asks herself what she could do better to improve the situation, but men can ignore a ton of dysfunction as long as it isn't concretely negatively affecting them.
In my experience, most men just aren't very curious about understanding themselves better, either, and they tend to avoid blaming themselves for anything.
This is why I hate all the ‘date ugly men, they’ll appreciate you’
They can be as bad or worse, plus then you’re stuck with an ugly guy
In my experience ugly men are worse. They know they are ugly and that she is out of his league so he starts negging her destroying her confidence so that she believes he is more than she deserves. Back when I was still open to dating men this happened to me… all my friends would comment about how I was too pretty for him and his personality pretty shitty too, I wish I listened to them. He negged me a lot and progressively made me feel worse and worse about myself not only my appearance but also other aspects of my like my talents and intelligence. Thankfully I never slept with him and I broke the relationship off before it properly took off. But still my confidence took long to recover, also didn’t help that I was a teenager back then. What is really ‘funny’ is that if he just didn’t negg me and just treated me more kindly I would probably be with him still today, I genuinely liked his personality and looks don’t matter much too me (when I fall for someone they be some the most attractive person in my eyes lol… and I fall for those who make me happy) He was absolutely hilarious to be around when he didn’t feel the need to bring me down, back when we were just friends. He would make me laugh all the time and we had so many shared interests. We could just sit and talk for hours on end. But alas while I was the one who broke things off he was the one who destroyed the relationship between us. But I’m happy things ended in the end, he was very porn sick and back then I didn’t realise just how dangerous that is… or what porn really does to men.
And I’ve seen the same thing with other women dating ugly men, it’s a very noticeable pattern. The men are insecure about their looks and instead of building confidence they tear her down so he can be confident she stays. Men are parasitical and destructive like that.
Moral of the story, NEVER give an ugly guy a chance.
They don’t even need to be objectively ugly or incel-ish, any dude who lets his insecurities eat away at him invariably becomes abusive. Even otherwise attractive ones. If you date a guy a little shorter than you, he’ll make his short man complex your problem. If a dude watches porn and starts to develop unrealistic ideas about dick size, he’ll freak out when he can’t make you orgasm with 30 seconds of pounding. Even if you bend over backwards to soothe his stupid ego he’ll still neg you into oblivion because he can’t cope.