You are viewing a single comment thread. Show all comments.

DurableBookOctober 23, 2024

If there is one message I hope I can communicate to the young women in my life, it is that you are not taking anything away from a man when you say "no" to him.

He's not the main character in your life. He's not entitled to your time or service or body in the first place, so declining to give those to him doesn't take anything away from him.

AmericanGoddessOctober 23, 2024

πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

voltairineOctober 23, 2024

god. i wish my mother had followed this advice.

RappaccinisDaughterOctober 23, 2024

Mine too.

SrfthrowawayOctober 23, 2024

Mine, too.

BarbrykostOctober 23, 2024

It’s sad how often this needs to be said. Forty years ago a friend of mine confessed that she would no longer enter a relationship with a psychically damaged man. Her first husband battered her when she was pregnant, but she still felt it necessary to defend a position of not being abused.

istaraOctober 23, 2024(Edited October 23, 2024)

I'm reminded of this very cheesy joke a teacher at school told us, of a young bride who was trying to memorise the order of the marriage service. "Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn." ("I'll alter him").

Of course the real joke is that she won't, because if you marry something toxic then you've married something toxic. All the "love" in the world ain't gonna change it.

nomenarewomenOctober 23, 2024

I honestly have never understood the trope you see in fiction (and which presume is a trait in real life) where women want to 'fix' a man. Like, I've had enough problems of my own - I want a partner where we support each other, but I don't need anyone to fix me, and I don't want to have the responsibility of fixing anyone else (which I don't think is really a thing anyway as at the end of the day we all have to sort out our own shit).

StrawberryCoughOctober 23, 2024

That urge is better indulged with disabled domestic animals. Go get that senior 3 legged dog out of the pound and make the best life for her, at least she'll be grateful.

nomenarewomenOctober 24, 2024

absolutely

getting_angrierOctober 23, 2024

It's not a "trope", it's a sad reality : society has shaped us to think men's needs were superior to our own. It has even warped our mind enough to think broken men are hot.